


Love & Hate

by StrangerThanDiction



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Eric Nam isn't the bad boyfriend in this, Essentially Plotless, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Humor, I swear alot, Many chapters, Multi, Slow Burn, Top Yongsun, may actually never end at this rate, moonsun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2019-08-14 14:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 57,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16494587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangerThanDiction/pseuds/StrangerThanDiction
Summary: Moon Byulyi is the star photographer and editor of R.B.W. High's newspaper, perfectly content in her own normal world of black and white. Kim Yongsun is the new transfer who not only threatens Byulyi's position as head editor, but also her carefully-constructed sexuality.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at fanfic, but once you Wheein to Mamamoo...  
> This is a reposting of my Wattpad fanfic because what's originality.

Most days, Moon Byulyi wasn't concerned with the naturally beautiful things in life. She found them dull and they didn't ask for a closer look, a different perspective. Byulyi yearned for the ugly: the battered moth, the dirty landfill, the leaking pipe; these things must be made beautiful. That was art. Taking a photo of a sunset is merely capturing a lovely image, not creating it.

She walks the cracked sidewalk towards school, camera rhythmically bumping against her stomach, lens cap between her fingers. Just gazing. It was just after dawn and the sun weakly peeks over the treetops, barely woken from its heavy slumber. 

The sun sleeps more than I do, Byulyi muses quietly to herself. The thought is half-bitter, half-amused. 

Free time was not in the vocabulary of Byulyi. As editor and photographer of all the school's media, she arrives at school nearly an hour before the first student and leaves two hours after the last. And with the honors courses' workload... well, there wasn't much time for sleeping. 

It helped though. To stay busy. Her mind and its endless thoughts were demanding and destructive, so life's daily distractions were necessary to survive. And Jung Wheein, her best friend and daily dose of happiness in a midget-sized package. Though a writer on the newspaper, Wheein's main focus was playing the flute in marching band. Made sense, she looked adorable in the uniform. 

The quaint, two-story red-brick structure that is R.B.W. High appears in Byulyi's field of vision as she turns the corner. A school of just 350 students, she knew the names of everyone and vice versa. Really helped to know the nice guy or girl on the athletics teams who wouldn't mind a candid shot taken of them for the paper. Some don't appreciate the way the flash really exemplifies the sweat on their bodies. She doesn't know what they expect to happen.

Byulyi stops walking suddenly. Converses only a hair from the lower step of the school. A piece of crumpled-up paper cartwheels down the stairs like a poltergeist pushed it. A bright red D is visible even in its harsh state as it settles around the middle of the staircase. 

With one hand she slips off her glasses as the other lifts the camera, focusing. With her extended vision, she can see it was some type of Calculus test - Differential. She snaps the photo, lowers the camera, and pushes her glasses onto her face; a procedure so common it'd become half habitual. 

"Shame." Byulyi mutters to whoever that test once belonged to. 

"A damn shame." 

Byulyi starts at the husky, unidentifiable voice coming from a place on top of the stairs that she can't see clearly. Nervously, she hikes her backpack up on her shoulders and stands on her tiptoes, trying to see who could possibly be here so early in the morning. 

"Who's up there? Is it a ghost?" Byulyi tries to joke, but her voice cracks at the end.

"Nah." 

They don't say anything else. It was definitely a woman though. That fact gave Byulyi enough courage to walk up a few steps and face whoever sits between her and the inside of the school. Her shoulders slump as she recognizes the girl slumped into the corner next to the double doors.

"Ahn Hyejin, the principal said you didn't have to be here until 7:30." 

The younger student sighs, running her hands through her dark hair. "What the hell? I've been here for thirty minutes waiting for your ass."

Well maybe if you had listened.

Principal Hughes always sent the troublesome, but not too troublesome, students to work on the school yearbook or newspaper as punishment thinking that Byulyi and the other nerds would be some kind of good influence on them. She considered it more of a punishment on them than on the troublemakers who had no expertise on the subject and created unusable content. 

Byulyi quickly glances over Hyejin. She'd been told she was a sophomore and yet a few tattoos were already scrawled along her arm and neck.

"How old are you?" Byulyi questions as she reaches into her bag for the front door key.

"Why?" 

Byulyi swallows down her annoyance, pushing her spectacles up her nose again. "Just trying to make conversation. You'll be on the media team for a month, so we should get to know one -"

"I asked 'why?'. You don't have to give me an entire exposition about my purpose here."

Smoking weed in the bathroom during fourth block. That's why she's here. 

"I'm sixteen," Hyejin continues. 

Byulyi cracks a crooked grin as she slips the key into the lock, "Hi sixteen, I'm seventeen." 

As Byulyi finally unlocks the school doors, she hears Hyejin mutter underneath her breath in complete seriousness, "Fucking kill me now," and chuckles quietly. This might actually be fun.


	2. Chapter 2

Kim Yongsun considered herself to be a bit of a badass for reasons anyone who spent more than five minutes in her presence would soon realize. She was smart, she was attractive, and she considered herself to be a very successful bisexual woman. 

Moving high schools her senior year wasn't a pity; it was a welcomed blessing. One look at the small-town cesspool of a school told her enough about what students to expect there: the small-minded, the hyper-masculine, and the extremely repressed ones. Very different from her gigantic city school. A challenge of sorts.

Today, three days after R.B.W. High had officially started, was Yongsun's first day and she'd been assigned a "tour guide" and "potential study buddy" by the principal to get her caught up to speed. The use of the word "study buddy" was funny enough in itself, without the sustained image of the pug-like man of a principal's jowls shaking in excitement. 

During the meeting, she had been hoping that whoever this person was would be, in some way, attractive, not wearing a varsity sports jacket, and not attempting to convert her to Mormonism. 

Fate had listened. Barely. 

"Oh my gosh! You must be Yongsun! Welcome to our humble abide!" 

Yongsun's lips tighten as she beholds the small, younger girl standing in the area beside the school's front desk. Her brown hair is pulled up onto the top of her head in two even buns and her excited grin exposes crooked bottom teeth. Cute, excitable. A puppy. 

The perky student continues, "My name is Jung Wheein and I hope we can be friends!" She extends a hand towards the taken aback senior. 

"Right." Yongsun softly takes her hand and gives her a small smile. "Pleasure to meet you Wheein."

Casually, but pointedly, Wheein removes her hand from Yongsun's grip and coughs a bit nervously. "I looked at your social media accounts - to find conversation points -" she amends quickly, "and I discovered some things." 

She'd definitely found all the homosexual and secular content she'd posted; there was an infinite amount of it. Even though she didn't particularly care about the small-minded thinking she was sometimes faced with, it was just the first day of school. She'd rather not be judged by what someone thinks she is.

The corners of Yongsun's lips tilt downward in anticipation, "Oh?"

Wheein nods. "Yeah, I saw you were editor of a journal your school had." An LGBT journal, Yongsun thinks slyly and wonders if this girl was tricked by the irony of the journal's name: Straight Talk. "We have a media team here you could join. Our head editor is amazing."

Yongsun smirks a bit, leaning against the wall of the front office. "We talking journalism or Jesus?" 

The younger girl grins again and a dimple impresses itself in her cheek. "Por que no los dos?" Yongsun chuckles a little despite herself. "Come on, let me show you around before classes start. Vamos!"

Okay Dora the Explorer, Yongsun thinks amused. 

For a small-town shithole, the school didn't look that bad. The computer lab didn't consist of bulky monitors from 2002 and the textbooks she received were actually from this generation. However, all the students were hypersensitive to her presence, considering the majority of them probably grew up together and she was a fresh face. Not going to lie, she enjoyed the attention for however long it would last. 

During her twenty-minute tour, she'd been invited to dinner, bible study, a baseball game, and a blowjob. Unfortunately she had to rain check all of them, most regrettably the last one. 

"Sorry about Tyler back there," Wheein says apologetically, "he's the embodiment of hyper-masculinity." 

Yongsun laughs, "Guy was holding a protein shake and wearing a wifebeater, he's definitely compensating for something." 

Wheein glances at Yongsun conspiratorially, "I heard he never drinks strawberry protein shakes because they're gay." 

Yongsun clutches her side, bent over squealing in high-pitch laughter. "Holy. Shit." She struggles to catch her breath. "If Tyler's not gay, he has a micro-penis." 

A pretty girl walking down the hall glances at her in disdain and whispers to her friend. Yongsun watches them go down the hall, eyes raking over them shamelessly. She smirks to herself, before she notices Wheein staring at her wide-eyed. 

Yongsun shrugs a bit, almost sheepishly. "Cute dress." 

"Uh. Huh." She adjusts her backpack on her shoulders. "Come on, I saved the best for last." 

Turns out the school has a basement where all the extracurricular activities that aren't sports-related reside. It wasn't as small or dank as Yongsun imagined it being. Quite a few students milled around and chatted with each other and there were different classrooms that belonged to particular arts. A band room, a choral room, an art room, and, at the end of the hall, the media room. 

The media room had a small closet off to the side (for developing photos, Wheein explained), and about four computers against the wall. Brainstorming ideas were scrawled on the chalkboard in messy white chalk lines. A scrawny guy with a piece of chalk behind his ear was talking to a girl whose back was facing them, while writing furiously in his notebook. Another dark-haired girl sat in the back of the room, scrolling through something that looks suspiciously like Tumblr.

"Hey guys!" Wheein says loudly. "I just wanted to introduce, Kim Yongsun. It's her first day here." 

The girl in the back of room, immediately clicks off Tumblr before turning to face them. The guy glances at her briefly before continuing to write in his journal. The last girl to turn has shorter hair, only slightly longer than her shoulders, and circular glasses perched on her impeccably sharp nose. 

Yongsun notices Wheein looking at Tumblr girl with confusion before she continues speaking, "This is our media team...kinda. Here we have athletic journalist Eric Nam, editor and photographer Moon Byulyi, and ... Ahn Hyejin?" 

The girl at the back, Hyejin, raises a hand. "Sup."

Byulyi blinks at her nervously before waving silently and Yongsun gives a once-over, taking in the button-up and suspenders she was wearing. 

"Hey guys," she drawls, eyes not leaving Byulyi's, "heard this was where all the fun takes place." She smiles coyly and the girl looks away, breaking eye contact. 

"Where'd you hear that?" Hyejin mutters crassly, glaring pointedly in Wheein's direction. 

"Don't listen to our new intern," Byulyi says quietly, looking down at her feet, "we're happy you think so. Right Eric?" 

The guy sighs without looking up, "Over the moon." 

"Here is where the school's newspaper and yearbook is imagined and created," Wheein says with proud smile. "I help occasionally, but our wonderful editor keeps it all together." 

Byulyi blushes. Cutely, Yongsun thinks with pleasure. 

"Sounds fun." Yongsun takes a couple of measured steps into the room, "I'd love to help out. If you'd have me, Byulyi." That came out a bit more of a euphemism as she meant it to. But only barely. 

Wheein shifts anxiously at Yongsun's tone and the growing redness blooming on Byulyi's cheeks, only to look relieved as the first bell rings. "Sorry to cut this short, but I can't have Yongsun late to her first class."

Byulyi finally looks up from the ground with an unreadable expression on her face, "Nice meeting you."

Yongsun's smirk is openly suggestive and Hyejin raises an eyebrow. "Pleasure's all mine. Moon Byulyi." She says slowly as if tasting the name. 

Hyejin gapes now. "Oh shit. That's gay."


	3. Chapter 3

Byulyi, for the first time this year, was thoroughly shook to her core. It's not as if she didn't know homosexual people existed, but to see one so shamelessly flaunt it in this town? Unheard of. 

The student - Yongsun - looked as if she'd come from the big city. Unlike most girls at R.B.W., her hair was dyed a reddish-brown and her face was bare from makeup. Also she appears to be openly...well...not straight. 

Byulyi didn't have time for romances in the first place - or rather, she purposefully didn't make time for them. Despite this, she knew that something about her preferences was off from other people's at this school. Therefore, she decided that dating could wait until she went to a faraway college to avoid any more awkward scenarios and late night imaginings about what a fair world would be like. Byulyi was sure that Yongsun would soon realize the harsh realities of a school like this and restrain herself. 

"So?" Byul flinches away from her thoughts and realizes Hyejin is hovering next to her like she has something on her mind.

"Yes Hyejin?" Byul slips laptop into her backpack without looking at her.

She shrugs, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "How'd it feel?" 

"What?" 

"Being hit on by a girl?"

"Wha-" Byul almost drops her backpack as she looks to Hyejin, horrified. "Shouldn't you be going to class?" 

Hyejin raises an dark, arched eyebrow that speaks more volumes than actual words do. "Not saying I think you're gay Byulyi, but if you're as gay as you act like you are - I would not pass up that new girl. She's hot." 

With an exasperated huff, Byulyi leaves the younger girl in the media room as she walks out into the small hallway clutching the straps of her backpack a little too hard. She felt nauseous and panicky and the clomping of her shoes echoing around the near empty basement only elevated her anxiety. 

I'm not gay, her mind snaps back at Hyejin's assumption, a bit too late and a bit too quiet. The truth was she didn't know. And yet the way the new student had looked at her -

She shakes her head, quickening her pace towards her first period block. No one really paid much attention to her in that way, that's why the obvious flirtation struck her so. She was the platonic friend of everyone in this school: trustworthy, not a threat. Even Eric wasn't interested in her, not that he was interested much in people to begin with. 

Byulyi sits down in her literature class, shrugging her backpack onto the floor with a groan. Seulgi looks up from her phone as she sits down.

"Doing alright there, Byulyi?" 

"Just going through the repetitive mediocrities of life, tis all." 

"Is that from Hamlet?" Byulyi looks up in confusion, but she sees the joking smirk on her face. 

"Oh. Ha." 

Kang Seulgi reaches over her desk to nudge the moping girl in the arm, an impish grin playing on her pink lips. "Lighten up Byul. What's the matter?"

Seulgi was a good friend, second to Wheein, but not one that she really discussed feelings, emotions, or anything personal with. They didn't hold that sort of closeness with each other, which is why Byulyi plasters a smile on her face and shrugs.

"Have you met the new girl?" 

The taller, dark-haired girl's eyes brighten at that. "Yes! Doesn't she look straight from the city? It's so cute! And that dyed hair? I want to touch it!" 

Byulyi fiddles with the edge of notebook, completely expecting this type of reaction. It wasn't every day that R.B.W. gets a new student - more like every half-decade - and this one was objectively attractive and sociable. The last new student was a guy from the neighboring rural town who was the cousin of some student already here. 

"-you think she's pretty?"

"HUH?" Byulyi says a bit too loud, jumping out of her thoughts.

"I said, 'don't you think she's pretty'?" Seulgi repeats not seeming to have noticed her panic. 

Her eyes shift around the room nervously. "I - um - I mean isn't that a little weird to say?"

Seulgi's head tilts a bit in confusion, "More weird to say she isn't."

Byulyi's mouth gapes a bit, like a fish, wondering if she should confirm or deny it when the teacher steps into the classroom. She breaths a sigh of relief and turns to the front of the class, feigning rapt attention. 

Why must girls always talk about how pretty other girls are? She thinks bitterly as she flips open the play A Midsummer's Night Dream that they're reading in class. Isn't that strange? Boys don't do it.

As the class death-marches on, she finds it harder to concentrate on the material and her thoughts flip on their own back to the media room. The way the new girl had stared at her and drawn out her name like a slow drip of honey. Hyejin's crash voice on repeat in the background remarking, "Oh shit. That's gay."

"Miss Moon," Byulyi eyes snap to the teacher before she even comes out of her daze, "do you agree with Shakespeare? That one who is in love is as crazy as a madman?" 

She nods. "Sure. Love is a curse onto men that rarely ever ends happily. It is useless; yet it is our folly."

The teacher purses her lips. "Strong words, Miss Moon. Let's move onto Act IV..."

It was a bit harsh. Byulyi didn't fear love at all - deep inside of her it was a calming thought to be in love with someone one day. The fear lied in who she might one day find herself in love with.


	4. Chapter 4

The initial thrill of a new school had already begun to fade by the time fourth period approached. Yongsun had figured out the social circles of the senior class very quickly due to fact that there were really only four of them: the athletes, the troubled artists, band and choir kids, and those popular simply because they're attractive. 

Unfortunately, the latter seemed to take the most interest in her, inviting her to their lunch table and their Wednesday night bible study meeting. Both of which she responded with noncommittal grunts and hmms. The only way she lost them was by going into her Intro to Journalism class which apparently deterred them like sage to demons. 

Cute, puppy-like girl from earlier was in the small class, and the only one reading from a book as the others scroll through their smartphones. Yongsun decides to take a seat beside her and she looks up from Don Quixote, eyes wide. 

"Oh hi, Yongsun." She closes her book and grins. "Enjoying classes so far?"

Shit. Yongsun thinks suddenly, I forgot the girl's name. Best to overcompensate. 

"Doing great, Dimple-cheek." 

The younger girl blinks a few times at Yongsun, her grin fading just a little. "Are all city folk like this?"

She shakes her a head a little, "Nah. I'm just weird. Sorry, I forgot your name."

"Wheein." She smiles kindly. "And its fine you forgot, I just have a good memory."

Yongsun nods, as she fiddles with her backpack's zipper and unpacks a notebook and pencils. "You're my favorite person here so far, Wheein." 

Her dimple intensifies as she gives Yongsun a sideways smirk. "How do you figure?" 

As she opens her mouth to spout out something particularly greasy, an older lady comes into the room with a familiar girl trailing behind her. Yongsun pauses to watch the teacher and Moon Byulyi walk to the front of the classroom, a faint smirk ghosting her lips. 

The older lady was in her forties probably and her eyes hook onto Yongsun sitting near the front next to Wheein and she gives her a wide grin that exposes crooked teeth. "Looks like we have a new journalist in class today." 

Byulyi's eyebrows lower as she scans the room for the culprit. Her dark gaze catches Yongsun's intense one. She blanches and immediately looks away. 

Yongsun stands up from her seat with a cool tilt from her lips, "Hi, everyone." Her eyes sweep over the eight other students in the class, "I'm Kim Yongsun." 

The teacher claps her hands with too much enthusiasm. "Ah! I'm so excited! And isn't she so pretty? Byulyi, don't you think she's so cute?" 

Yongsun observes a muscle in Byulyi's jaw twitch. She seems more frustrated than embarrassed, she notes as she sits back down in her chair. Even she herself was feeling a bit peeved by how much she'd been called some variation of "cute" today. Yes, she was aware of attractiveness. No, that was not her only defining characteristic. 

Byulyi shoulders rise and fall. She pushes up her glasses."Today, your outline for your first article is due. So if everyone except Miss Kim could turn that in now..."

Metal chair legs scrape against the tile floor as the few students shuffle to put pieces of notebook paper on the front desk. Byulyi comes over to Yongsun and Wheein's table, taking a seat across from the latter. 

She addresses Yongsun, "If you can have an outline for an article about a school-related event on Miss Evan's desk by tomorrow, you'll be essentially on track with everyone else." 

Yongsun leans forward, propping her chin on her hands. "So, you're the TA or something?" 

Byulyi shrugs. "Just helping out. Getting more people involved with the media team is a goal of mine." 

"Byul has a few too many things on her plate." Wheein says pointedly. Yongsun notes the dark bags underneath her eyes. "She should use this free period to take a nap."

"Stop worrying. I'm fine." She glances at Yongsun. "I look fine, don't I?" 

"More than fine. Bordering snack-like."

Wheein's gaze flickers between Yongsun who has a lazy smirk on her lips and Byulyi whose expression remains the same save for a tinge of white blooming from the corners of her mouth as she tightens it.

Wheein glances around and lowers her voice before asking, "You like women, Yongsun?" 

The older girl's lips part a bit in surprise before curling into a mischievous smile. "What gives you that idea?" She asks, hardly able to keep the laugh out of her voice..

"You're kidding." 

She snorts, "Yeah. I'm hella gay." Byulyi makes a choking noise in the back of throat and Yongsun looks at her. "That a problem?" 

Wheein looks unconcerned. "Honestly, I don't care," Yongsun notices Byulyi's eyebrows raise at that comment, "but your preferences may gain you unwanted attention here." 

"Yeah? I have a perfectly good dildo they can suck on." 

Byulyi shifts in her chair, fanning herself. "Why hasn't class started yet?"

Yongsun finds herself openly examining the chub-cheeked, obviously repressed gay woman sitting across from her. Her monolid eyes look everywhere but at Yongsun. 

"Do you have an issue with my sexuality, Byulyi?" She pries. 

Byulyi sniffs, "Of course not. Anyone with half a brain knows its not a choice."

"Good. So what are you afraid of?"

"Excuse me?"

Yongsun gestures between them. "Real recognize real, right?"

Her face twists into a sneer, "Don't assume my sexuality."

"I wasn't assuming, I was acknowledging." Yongsun's smile is bordering sardonic and any hint of embarrassment on Byulyi's face disappears as anger consumes her features.

Before she can retort something to preserve her pride, Miss Evans shrill voice calls out, "Today we'll be talking about how to ensure your articles are unbiased -"

Byulyi has to settle for a cold glare towards Yongsun, who has already turn to the front of the classroom, blatantly ignoring the younger girl's harsh look. Wheein sighs, nearly inaudible and shakes her head in annoyance.

Yongsun knew she was blunt - cruel even - but it was a thing one had to get used to in order to be her friend. The fact that Wheein hadn't disowned her yet was a good sign and Byulyi...well she would come along. Yongsun was patient.


	5. Chapter 5

Wheein isn't one for drama and the distracting shit that comes with it, so this new girl Yongsun trying to be some sort of Messiah for small-town homosexuals was a bit concerning. Especially since she seemed hell-bent on outing Byulyi for some reason. Not that Wheein had any reason to believe her best friend was gay, but she'd never really seen Byulyi get that worked up about something so trivial. She seemed defensive even, and the rest of journalism consisted of her fuming and avoiding eye contact with Yongsun who ignored her just the same.

That was well enough. Wheein had perhaps once considered that the three of them could become friends, but frankly the older girl's brutal honesty was off-putting. Something that one would have to get used to - want to get used to.

After their shared fourth period, they all went separate ways with Eric finding Byulyi for some yearbook inquiry and Ashley Bennett with her crew pulling Yongsun towards the cafeteria to eat with them. Wheein's left to get her lunch from her locker to eat in the band room with some peers before practice.

She seldom finds herself eating in the cafeteria unless Byulyi deigns to actually eat a proper lunch - which is an unfortunate rarity. If not in the media room, her friend prefers wandering on campus and taking photos of seemingly random objects for her collection. She understood Byulyi's wanting to stay busy, but her distance sometimes left her feeling lonely.

Wheein grabs the black bag with her leftover gopchang and fried rice from her locker. She shuts it and immediately yelps when faced with a student to longer hidden by the door. Another look tells her it's Hyejin. Wait. Hyejin?

"Sup?" The dark-haired culprit says dryly, arms crossed and leaning a bare shoulder against another locker's cool metal.

Ahn Hyejin is a bit of a RBW High mystery. Though undeniable sexy, she has never hung out with any of the popular students - despite how they used to try - and rarely hangs out with anyone else in the school. Occasionally she takes interest in a guy or girl for a couple weeks, before completely shutting them out all together. Since she doesn't fit the norm, so people take to shutting her out and making fun of her. As people do.

Wheein smiles a bit, taking a tiny step back from the startlingly close girl. "Hyejin, how are you?"

"Can we not do the thing where we ask each other things neither of us cares about?" Wheein mouth gapes a bit. "I mean I didn't come to talk to happy-go-lucky flute girl to see how her day is going." Hyejin seems to gauge the hurt spreading across Wheein's face and sighs. "No offense."

"What do you want?" She groans, really not in the mood for more confrontational people.

"You seem close to the new girl-"

"Yongsun?" Wheein shakes her head, "Not really."

"Good." Hyejin continues as if she didn't say anything. "I need an in and you're it."

"An in for what?"

Hyejin snorts. "C'mon, you're not stupid. That girl is gay as hell and I plan on hitting it before someone else does."

There's another one? Fuck.

"Can't help you. Sorry."

Hyejin pushes off the lockers and wraps an arm around Wheein's shoulder. She smells really good. "Listen Wheeaboo," hot breath on her ear, "it's not a threat or anything, but like, if you don't want the whole school to know your best friend is gay then you should help me."

Wheein wrenches out of the girl's grip, disgust on her face. "You don't know that! You're so desperate that you plan on spreading lies?"

The younger girl shrugs, "Maybe it's a stretch. Or not. Who's to know?"

Wheein usually pleasant face twists in cold anger and Hyejin blinks in shock, taken aback. Retaining her soft voice Wheein hisses quietly, "If you say one fucking word about Byulyi to someone, I will personally see that you regret it for the rest of your disgraceful existence. Do not fuck with me."

Wheein turns on her heel swiftly and storms down the hallway in the opposite direction, cheeks burning furiously. Hyejin stares at her short frame going down the corridor for a while, her shock slowly shifting to amusement and...

She draws her lower lip between her teeth before looking away. "Okay then."


	6. Chapter 6

An issue with the school newspaper was exactly what Moon Byulyi needed to occupy her mind at the moment. It was a comfort to be walking down the basement corridor with the same lanky Eric she'd known all her life who had a habit of being completely detached towards anything that didn't involve academics or the athletics page of the school's paper.

He strides down the hall a few steps in front of her with his dark hair bouncing against his brow and his left hand flipping a pencil across his knuckles. Byulyi could tell he was distressed. The pencil was usually placed casually behind one of his ears during his normal state.

"Don't leave me in suspense, Eric, what's the issue?" Byulyi says once they enter the media room.

Eric flicks on the lights with a heavy sigh. "The football article is a disaster." He sinks into a desk, defeated. 

"Because?"

"Because I need Tyler Young's interview for the star player section and he won't talk to me."

"Because?"

He scowls at her in frustration, "Because everyone is so obsessed with that new girl." Any amount of amusement Byulyi was feeling from this immediately vanishes. "Perhaps we should write about this unspoken male race to be the first to claim her?"

Byulyi crosses her arms, pressing her hip against a desk. "I don't understand this obsession with her." 

"Oh I do. If she were ten times less attractive all the guys would still want her because she's fresh." 

"And you Eric?" Byulyi asks. "What about you?"

He shrugs without emotion. "I'll admit I got a boner this morning when she came in, but feel no real emotional connect-"

"Eric stop!" She screeches, covering her ears. "This isn't an article. You don't have to be so honest."

Eric chuckles a bit. "Don't worry Byul, you're still my favorite. Jealous?"

Far from it, Byulyi thinks bitterly. "We'll find a way to get Tyler to give a quote or something that'll pass for it. They have after-school practice today and I'll come with."

Placing his pencil behind his ear, Eric gives her a thankful smile and slides out of the desk. "Now that that's settled, grab some lunch with me?" 

She shakes her head, resigned. "Go ahead. I have some work to catch up on." Eric turns his head, but not quick enough to hide the disappointment written on his face. "I'm sure Wheein's in the band room..."

"It's fine just -" he sighs, "-just take care of yourself Byul."

He leaves, shoes squeaking across the tile. And Byulyi stands in the silence of the media room as the deafening noise in her mind only grows. 

You never make time for the people you love. You know they hate you for it. Why do you push them away?

Ice cold hands plunge into her chest while flames dance on her skin. The irrational voices make sense in the same way that she loves her own self-hatred. She deserved it. She deserved nothing.

Time passes like running water. Thoughts cling to her mind like molasses. From some distance she can hear the bell signalling for fifth block, but she can't bring herself to move from her perch on the desk. There is no energy to move. Only to think and breathe and loathe. 

If I died, who would care?

The thought appears and vanishes almost simultaneously, but Byulyi jolts nearly tumbling off the desk. She was very particular to not let thoughts like those in. They were addicting and it scared her. 

The counselor said to allow herself thirty minutes of worry a day when the buildup felt unbearable. Byulyi glances at the clock and groans. It'd been an hour. And her second time today. 

She extracts herself from the desk, rolling her neck to relieve its tension. She decides to get ahead on some more school work before helping Eric with his article - it's not the first time she's skipped classes and wouldn't be the last.

 

Eric runs a hand through his bangs, tousling them such that they looked like feathers sticking out at odd angles. Byulyi fiddles with the lens cap of her camera as they walk across the football field's fake turf set a few hundred yards away from the school itself. 

She could spy the guys huddled in the middle of the field with their red practice jerseys un-tucked and hanging off their frames. A varied scattering of other students sit either alone or in groups on the bleachers and marching band students huddle, a hundred yards away, on the other side of the field. 

A sharp whistle pierces the air and the huddle breaks as the football players get into formation on the field. 

"Great,"Byulyi sighs, "we have to wait until they finish."

"Patience is a virtue."

"And a poptart is a sandwich."

"Wh-"

She gives him a crooked grin as they make their way to the top of the bleachers. "You're right. I can get some good yearbook photos while we wait."

"There's that classic Moon optimism."

"Yo Byul! Over here!"

Seulgi waves from near the center of the bleachers dressed in her cheerleader outfit with rest of her squad. And then Byulyi spots the one girl without a uniform who waggles her fingers coyly as they make eye contact. 

Byulyi pauses. "Hi, Seulgi! Eric and I were just taking some yearbook pictures."

"Sit with us!" She calls, motioning them over. "Great view over here!" 

Byulyi looks at Eric who gives a tiny shake of his head. "Uh-"

Seulgi stands up and jogs over, grabbing Byulyi by her thin wrist. "C'mon, the girls don't bite, they'll just ignore you." She smiles at Eric, "You should sit too."

The tips of Eric's ears begin to redden as he shifts uncomfortably. Byulyi nods at him, giving him the decision. "Sure." He breathes almost too quiet to hear. 

Seulgi hears. "Awesome, now we can stop talking about Heather's ex-boyfriend-"

Yongsun had stopped watching Byulyi, attention trained on some other cheerleader talking. She looks like a wolf in sheep's clothing, Byulyi thinks as her eyes focus on the other girl despite herself. 

She ends up sitting directly behind Yongsun with Eric on her left who was preoccupying himself with something on his phone and Seulgi on her right once again trapped in the conversation about Heather's ex-boyfriend. 

And worst of all, I can't get a good shot from this angle. Byul futilely shifts her camera's focus from the field to the bleachers. Maybe a shot of the cheerleaders? Zooming out, she snaps a quick photo of Seulgi laughing with Heather. Examines it. Immediately finds it disgustingly cliche. 

A heavy weight on her knees causes Byulyi to break away from her camera and look down at Yongsun who had leaned back and placed her head in her lap. It takes everything in Byulyi not to shove her head off. 

"What's with the frown Byulyi? Or are you smiling? Hard to tell from this angle..."

"You really are something Yongsun. Please remove your head from my lap." 

Yongsun's throat bobs, presumably from swallowing, and her eyes train on that movement without her permission. She looks back to her eyes, crinkled in amusement now like she saw something she wasn't supposed to.

"Kay." 

Yongsun lifts her head and doesn't look back again. Moonbyul rubs her knees. They feel cold.


	7. Chapter 7

The cheerleaders were - unsurprisingly - unbearable to hang out with for extended periods of time and Yongsun had already eaten lunch with them. The only reason she'd agreed to hang with them after school was because the girl who asked her to, Seulgi, was the cutest and least annoying of them and it was the perfect opportunity to check out the football team. And vice versa. 

This little competition from these boys (and at least two girls) was a mixture of disturbing and flattering: an ideal and slightly arousing situation for Yongsun. It was as if she were a thirteen-year-old princess in the 16th century with men vying for her sacred virginity. 

Too late for that though. 

And then there was Moon Byulyi who actually seemed to despise her now. To be honest, her haughty straight nerd facade was kind of annoying but there was something about her that drew in her interest. The challenge? Yong's utter insistence on having to be right about everything? 

She could feel Byulyi's presence behind her and hear the occasional clicks from her camera. Her friend Eric was with her and Yong was half-sure the boy had a crush on Byulyi. It was just intuition but something about him rubbed Yong the wrong way. 

Yongsun glances back over her shoulder at Eric, catching him with his dark gaze on Byulyi. 

Fuck that. She thinks bitterly, I don't do love triangles.

Seconds later, Yongsun feels a tapping of a bony finger on her shoulder. She turns her head the other way to see Byulyi with a sour expression on her pretty face. Almost like a pouting hamster. It takes all of her near nonexistent restraint not to pinch her cheeks.

"I need your help getting Tyler to give an interview for the paper," Byulyi breaths begrudgingly.

The corners of Yongsun's mouth curl upwards and she twists around on the bleachers to face her. "And what will I get from this?" 

"...A thank you."

"Oh no, Byulyi. That's simply," she pauses and smirks, "vanilla of you." 

The younger girl rolls her eyes, "Is everything that comes out of your mouth a euphemism?" 

Yong draws her bottom lip between her teeth, watching Byulyi attempt to look everywhere but her face. "Maybe." 

"Fine, whatever you want-" Yongsun's eyebrows raise, "-in reason! Okay? I'm only doing this for Eric."

She directs her gaze towards Tyler on the field who, no longer in his wifebeater, almost looks attractive. Too bad the first thing he said to her was an inquiry on the likelihood of her doing oral. Not on her top ten list of pick-up lines. 

Yongsun turns back to Byulyi, "Guy asked me for a blowjob this morning, so the price for this job will be high." 

"Fuck's sake." She swears under her breath. "The guy's a massive dick."

"It's fine. I've seen bigger." Byulyi cackles a bit and Yongsun smiles. "What kind of questions do I need to ask this douche?" 

A throat clears next to Byulyi and Yong startles having completely forgotten Eric was even present. "Ask him how he believes his last high school season will go and what he plans on doing in the future. That's it. It's just a small corner."

"Shit, that's all?" Yongsun snorts.

"Yeah Eric, that's it? How could you not get that small piece of info from him? Did you even ask him?" Byulyi asks.

He shifts nervously, "I wanted you to help me, Byul. We haven't hung out in a while."

Byulyi looks taken aback and Yongsun bristles. "Uh, I mean-"

Yongsun claps her hands together. "Look, practice is over! It's go time."

It was true. The shirtless target sat on the bench, wiping his face off with a towel. He looks up into the bleachers like he's searching for someone. His gaze lands on Yongsun and stops. 

"Somehow I think he'll come to us." Byulyi says as he gets up the bench and makes a beeline towards them.

Tyler begins pushing past various clusters of students with his dark hair flinging sweat like a water faucet everywhere. Muscles flexing with each step, probably more exaggerated than they needed to be.

The cheerleaders begin to murmur among themselves and cast knowing looks towards Yongsun who is doing her very best not to roll her eyes at this blatant display of hyper-masculinity. And these women actually falling for it. 

Tyler finally arrives, stopping at the bleacher right in front of Yongsun who has suddenly become eye-level with his groin. He opens his mouth, "Hey new g-"

"Tyler right?" Yongsun interrupts. "How do you feel about football this year?"

He frowns in confusion. "It's great. Now listen-"

"Do you think you'll get drafted to play in college?"

Tyler grins arrogantly now, "Obviously college recruits will be every game I play this season. I'm definitely playing in college, I'm the best quarterback in the state!" He bends down a bit so they're eye level, "Why? You want to get dinner with a future NFL-er or you want to go straight back to my-"

Yongsun completely ignores him and smiles at Eric. "You're welcome." She nods pointedly at Byul. "You owe me." She turns back to Tyler. "Go fuck yourself." And with that, Yongsun grabs her backpack and leaves. 

Byulyi raises her camera and snaps a picture of his stunned face. "That's a keeper."


	8. Chapter 8

Once Hyejin sets her mind to something, she will fight tooth-and-nail to do it...guaranteed a better, more challenging option didn't show its head. It wasn't masochism per se, but something indefinitely close that it doesn't really matter what one might call it. 

She sits beneath the bleachers and reads A Midsummer Night's Dream which she deems unappreciated by the greater mass of adolescents. And beneath the bleachers is a great place for eavesdropping and obtaining mostly useless blackmail and secrets she doesn't care enough about to tell. 

Who really cares anyway? High school is where people put the most worth into their lives and then it sharply plummets in college until middle age where it really hits rock bottom - 'specially if you have fucking teenagers. 

That's what her aunt would say anyway. 

The marching band practices a distance away, tubas grunting in rhythm and trumpets blaring a melody. She couldn't hear the flutes. Didn't want to anyway.

The football team and cheerleaders have all gone home for the day, but the band kids were in full gear getting prepared for the game on Friday. The school's mascot - a leprechaun in a rainbow kilt - stands off to the side sulking at being kept so late. 

She peeks through the bleachers one last time to not get a glimpse of the cute girl who mouthed off to her earlier - granted Hyejin did attempt to blackmail her. It was empty blackmail anyway, she'd tell everyone about a micro-penis or fake boobs, but outing someone was just fundamentally wrong. And Wheein telling her so with that protective fury in her voice was damn attractive. The girl could bark. Hyejin can't help but wonder if she bites too. 

"Who're you stalking now Jinnie?" 

Hyejin swears under her breath at the familiar voice who had no right accusing her of being a stalker. She turns to glare at the boy with the shaven head and caterpillar eyebrows named Kwon Hyuk-woo. Everyone at school has taken to call him Loco, not saying he deserved it but the guy was weird. And he'd given her that damn nickname she never wanted.

"Since we're using unwelcome nicknames, what do you want Loco?" 

His wide smile makes him look so much younger than eighteen, "Personally, I like that name. It's like...my rapper persona." 

Hyejin snorts, The fuck it is. "I was just leaving." She slings her backpack over a shoulder and eases out from under the bleachers.

"So. Did you ever think about that date?" He asks, following as she walks towards the parking lot. 

"I did. Really. But, unfortunately for you, I've been leaning more towards women recently. Caught me a bad time."

Loco rolls his eyes and speeds up so he's walking backwards in front of her. "Your sexuality changes?"

She gives him a dull look. "It's called being bisexual. Educate yourself." 

He blushes, pushing his beanie down over his ears. Hyejin wasn't blind, though not conventionally attractive, the boy had his quirks that were cute, just not the type she'd be interested in dating. He was soft like a woman but in ways that were different. 

Hyejin reaches her car, yanking open the driver's door and tossing her back onto the passengers seat. 

"Look, if you ever change your mind-"

"I won't."

"-if." He says, "There's the Halloween party coming up next month and I'd like to go with you. Doesn't even have to be romantically."

She shakes her head in incredulous amusement. "Wow. You are persistent." He shrugs. "Can't tell if it's creepy or borderline obsessive."

Loco raises his hands in surrender, taking a few steps away. "Okay. Okay. See you in class, Hyejinnie."

He saunters away and she watches him for a moment in thought. The Halloween party was the first major event of RBW's social season which is why people like her never went. It was more for the Wheeins and Moonbyuls of the school and the Yongsuns and Seulgis would be at a real party with actual alcohol and marijuana. 

Marijuana. All of hers confiscated by that prick of a principal. 

Her parents only cared enough to put on a show in front of the principal. They didn't mind her habits since it was "better than vaping". That wasn't a particularly difficult feat. Crack cocaine was better than vaping. 

Hyejin ducks into her car and pushes her seat back, one leg hanging out the door. It was nice to feel the crisp fall air get chiller as the sun begins to duck behind the trees. She loved her home, but sometimes she'd stay here until the cratered moon was fully risen and made her eyes shimmer in its glow. 

An imperfect, constantly changing light in the darkness chose her to shine upon. And though Hyejin didn't have any real friends, she never felt alone.


	9. Chapter 9

Kim Yongsun joining the media team was the best and worst thing about Byulyi's Friday morning.

On the one hand, they were so far behind on the issue due Monday that she was on the cusp of having a nervous breakdown. On the other hand, Yongsun herself was enough to give Byulyi a nervous breakdown. 

With Hyejin temporarily involved and Wheein part-time, this was the largest number of students on the media team in recent RBW history. A grand total of five. She'd heard rumors about there being up to seven full-time members in the 80s before the invention of the commercial personal computer and the decline of printed media. 

Byulyi resided in some limbo were she equally feels as if she doesn't belong in this decade but is grateful for some the perks of being born after the establishment of various civil liberties. 

So, in simpler words, when Yongsun stepped into the media room at 7:30 wearing a crop top and distracting jean shorts Byulyi couldn't quite form complete thoughts. 

Byulyi's mouth hangs open slightly, pausing in her explanation of Photoshop to Hyejin in the back of the room eyes following the other girl's movement towards Eric. Pupils contracting in a mixture of shock and arousal. Hyejin puts her elbow on her chair and turns to look at the interruption before smirking in acknowledgement. 

Eric glances up from his laptop a second longer than usual, looks as if he'll say something, but instead casts a questioning look towards Byulyi whose focus had now landed on Yongsun's toned abdomen. And Yongsun caught it all, relishing all too much in Byulyi's silent gaze. 

"Seems as if an angel has graced our presence this morning." Hyejin says, placing her chin on her hands.

"An angel?" Yongsun asks with a slow smile. "That one usually doesn't last too long." 

"Why not?"

"Doesn't really flow off the tongue during an orgasm." A flick of the eyes towards Byulyi who doesn't even seem to notice.

Hyejin's lips twitch, fully focused on Yongsun now. "But so many things do-"

"Gft." Byulyi jerks in her seat, finally spluttering herself back to life. "Why're you here?"

Yongsun deliberately sits on top of a desk, causing her shorts to rise another inch on her tan thighs. "Oh. I've joined the media team."

Hyejin's dark eyebrows rise and she turns to look at Byulyi. "Hey Byul, unrelated question but: can I join the media team?"

Byulyi stands up suddenly, head swimming with all this sudden noise and distraction disrupting her peaceful place. It was all too much. Yongsun watches, brow furrowed in concern. 

"I...need some air." 

Eric half-stands. "I can come-"

"No." 

Byulyi grips her camera between shaking fingers and leaves them staring after her in confusion. 

There's a fine line between keeping herself busy and her surrounds feeling out of control. The media club was her domain for writing and photography, not high school romance - especially of the homosexual kind. She had nothing against it personally, but the shit it'd cause isn't worth it. Byulyi could hear the rumors now: The newspaper club is full of lesbians and their token gay friend. Seulgi couldn't hang out with her anymore, it'd be social suicide. In high school your reputation defines you.

Byulyi walks around the back of the campus, still silent until the buses begin to file in around 8:15. Surrounded by a bit of woods, the school's grounds were beautiful when empty and flurries of multi-colored leaves dance with the wind. 

She snaps a photo of a dead leaf among its brightly-lit friends. Different from the others but no one cares - the other leaves are leaves, so they can't understand shit and so the dead leaf is dead. No one cares. Why should they? It's one leaf among billions. 

Byulyi doesn't no how long she stares at the dead leaf. Long enough for it to lift and get pick up by the wind. Sighing, she takes off her glasses and rubs between her eyes. 

Yongsun was definitely testing her by joining the media team. Wheein had mentioned she was involved in some LGBT magazine back at her old school and last night Byulyi had taken a short glance at some of the articles the older girl had written. Things like acceptance towards others and yourself, cliche coming out stories, and support groups. Reading it made Byulyi uncomfortable and she didn't want to think about the reason why. 

There were many things she didn't want to think about. How Yongsun walking in looking like that made her stomach do somersaults and parts of her tingle. The sheer nerve and intensity in the way the older girl's eyes stare into her. And how Hyejin's unrestricted, confident flirting with Yongsun made Byulyi want to grind her teeth.

Placing her glasses onto her nose again, Byulyi decides that it's high-time to deal with the mess happening in RBW's basement. Yongsun deserved a shot even though she was crude, inappropriate, and an overconfident dick who made her feel things she didn't want to.

She turns to go back to school and jumps back at the shadow leaning against the building's edge. 

"You know, I hung back so I wouldn't scare you," Yongsun's voice rings clear across the distance between them, "but in hindsight that was probably creepier."

Byulyi doesn't say anything, calming her jumpy heart. Yongsun steps out of the shadows into a patch of light near the edge of the woods. She's too beautiful and she knows it.

"Are you alright Byul?" 

Byul. Only her friends called her that. And Hyejin who had no such boundaries.

"Fine. Just needed a breather."

A humorless smile. "From me right?" 

Byulyi blushes and hopes the shadows over her face hides it. "Not just you Yongsun." 

"I've been totally shitty towards you, Byul." For the first time since meeting her, Yongsun seems completely serious and Byulyi shifts under her molten stare. "It's an elementary school reflex of mine."

"Um, I guess I've been kinda crappy towards you too."

"No." 

"Uhh..." Byulyi's at a lost for words as Yongsun takes a few more steps towards her, so that they're merely feet apart now. 

"You see Byul, you're not the fuck-and-done type that I'm used to." A nervous cough escapes from the younger. "I see that your an old soul who believes in going steady and all that shit." 

Byulyi raises her eyebrows in indignation now, "Hey-"

"So," Yongsun continues, "I'll do you one better. I will be your friend first and help you."

"Okay, Yongsun." She snaps now, pointing a finger at her. "First, I'm going to need you to stop making assumptions about what I need or don't need."

"Fine. Step two, I'm going to need you to stop calling me Yongsun. My friends call me Yong." 

Byul shakes her head incredulously. "We are nothing alike. We'd never be friends."

A glimpse of greasy Yong appears as she smirks, "Oh sweet Byulyi," Another stomach flip, "you have no idea what I'm capable of."


	10. Chapter 10

Yongsun had a plan. Granted, it wasn't a very good one but it was one all the same. The rest of the school slowly fades into the background as she begins to focus on the enigma that is Moon Byulyi who is currently man-spreading in a corner of the media room, flipping a pencil across her knuckles.

She's dressed in a variation of her normal outfits: oxford shirt half-unbuttoned with an exposed graphic tee, dark jeans, converses. Casual yet fashionable. And the circular glasses only aided in making her look even more like a major dork. It was confusing, Byul really isn't the type she usually goes for. 

And yet the options at this small shithole of a school were few and far between. That's what she tells herself.

"Should I be offended by how long you've been staring at Byul?" Hyejin mutters close to her ear causing Yong to flinch. 

Hyejin. There'd been a brief...altercation between them in the girl's bathroom a couple days ago. And another one in a broom closet yesterday. Each instance just for fun. They both had eyes elsewhere. And yet the younger's hand traces the wristband of Yong's jeans, hidden from view of the others. 

"No reason for you to be." Yong mutters, giving her a knowing look.

"Yeah, but what's your take on foursomes?"

A wry grin curls on her lips. "Way too many. Two is optimum but three is fine if you're the center." Her eyes drift to Byul again who she catches looking at her. Maintaining eye contact with her she mutters, "When I get her comfortable with the idea, I might invite you to join." Byul looks back to her laptop.

Hyejin cackles and removes her hand. "Threesome Thursdays?" 

"And then Wheein can join for Foursome Fridays?"

"I'm starting to believe she's straight."

"That's a very real and very likely possibility."

"Gee thank you."

It's the morning and one of those random days where Wheein actually can attend a meeting. Apparently one of her primary jobs is drawing the comic section of the paper which - after reading a few older issues - Yongsun deemed she was pretty talented at doing. Funny, odd, and a good artist. The more she hung around Wheein, the more she liked her. The more she could feel the lack of homosexual vibes radiating off of her too. 

"So, Byul asked you to go the art exhibit in town tonight?" Hyejin asks, leaning back in her swivel chair. 

"More like she mentioned she was going and I invited myself." She glances at the only male student in the room. "Apparently the hetero bought tickets for them like a date or something." 

"Tragic." Hyejin drawls sarcastically and Yong smirks. "So what you're saying is you're the world's biggest cockblock." 

"In the most literal sense of the word, yes." Yong swivels to face her, "But if I had to be honest, Byul seemed relieved." 

It felt true anyway. If Byul felt anything romantic towards Eric she sure didn't show it, though Yong is pretty sure she represses a lot of her feelings in the first place. On the other hand, she'd catch Eric watching Byul at least twice every morning and the want in his eyes didn't seem very friendly.

"Perhaps you're just projecting?" 

"Mm, perhaps." Hyejin grins impishly, pinching the exposed skin on Yong's belly. She swats her hands away with a girlish squeal, "Aiye!" 

Wheein gives them an annoyed glare from across the room. Hyejin's grin turns sheepish under the scrutiny and she swivels her chair around, turning her back to the girl. Yong mouths sorry and faces her computer again.

"Hyejin?" she whispers.

"Hm?"

"Did you know you're so fucking whipped right now?" A booted foot kicks Yong in the shin causing her to hiss in pain and laughter. "Hey!"

"Am not." 

"Now, rethink that answer. If Eric had glared at you like that-"

Hyejin presents Yong with an obscene gesture, before elbowing her in the gut. "Keep your damn voice down."

Yong snorts and pushes her shoulder. "Why're you so violent?" 

Hyejin casts a sideways glance at her, lips curls suggestively. "You weren't saying that yesterday."

She shrugs, unaffected."It's not good sex if my life doesn't flash before my eyes at least once."

Hyejin busts out laughing, clamping a hand over mouth just in time to prevent disturbing the whole room. She presses her head onto the desk, shoulders shaking. "I think I love you, you freak."

Yong presses her lips together in an attempt at seriousness. "You're lying. Love does not involve kink shaming."

"You could also say it doesn't involve near-death experiences during intercourse."

The first period bell rings before Yong can respond. The others in the room begin packing up their belongings and she quickly does the same hoping no one will notice she's done nothing since coming in this morning.

"Have a good day guys!" Byul calls out as Hyejin and Wheein begin filing out of the room. Eric stands off to the side, appearing to be waiting on Byul.

Yong shrugs her backpack onto her shoulders and nods to Byul and Eric. "See you guys at seven tonight. You remember my address Byul?"

She nods, "Yep. I'll pick you up at six."

"Kay." With one last look at Eric, Yongsun leaves the classroom with a small smirk on her face. And so begins phase one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking back on my writing, it's really fucking weird.


	11. Chapter 11

Byulyi slips her keys into the ignition of the car her mom is letting her borrow for the night. Unsure whether this was a dress up or down event, she decided on to leave on the outfit from school with the shirt fully buttoned, her converse exchanged with loafers, and a casual blazer tossed into the back seat just in case. Hopefully Eric doesn't come wearing a tie. It's happened before when they went to get Italian one weekend.

Actually Yongsun coming is a bit of a relief, though she'd never admit to it. Despite her never thinking of it before, it was increasingly becoming clear that Eric was starting to be weird. He keeps asking to hang out solo yet looks extremely uncomfortable every time they do. She really isn't attracted to him - couldn't be if she tried and she had. If she could be attracted to him that meant that she wasn't-

Byul focuses harder on the road both as a means of distraction as well as a necessity. She rarely drives and when she does it isn't during the evening hours in unfamiliar parts of town. The address Yong had given her was an area in the wealthier part of town where there aren't exactly mansions but it definitely isn't your average middle-class housing anymore.

The maps application on her phone leads her to one of the smaller two-story homes near the edge of the neighborhood. There's two cars outside that she can see, but also a closed garage on the side of the house that the sidewalk leads too. Byul can see lights on in the first floor windows and after a couple minutes debates whether or not she should honk when the front door opens and Yong slips out, waving goodbye to someone inside.

The first thing Byul notices is that she's wearing a dress with her hair pinned up into a bun instead of cascading onto her shoulders. The dark blue dress is actually a respectable length, brushing the tops of her knees, with a mock neckline. She waves with a cheesy grin as she hurries towards the car and Byul feels a lump in her throat as she unlocks the door.

She looks wonderful.

"Sorry about the wait." Yong says as she ducks inside. "I was debating on golden hoops or silver studs."

Byul examines her face, highlighted sharply in the streetlights. She'd chosen the silver studs. A cough. "You look nice, Yongsun." She mutters in a stilted voice, creating a dimpled smile from Yong.

"Looking at you, I feel overdressed."

"Don't worry," Byul says beginning to drive again, "I'm sure you'll be on par with Eric."

There's silence after that - not an uncomfortable kind but the silence were there really isn't much to say. Either way, Byul turns up the radio to fill the air even though she personally enjoys riding in complete silence.

A song, Seethru by Primary, comes on and Yong slowly starts to bob her head to the beat. Byul spares an amused glance at her from the corner of her eye.

"You like this song?"

"Are you kidding?" Yong turns up the volume as if that's answer enough and begins to sing along with the first verse.

Byul's eyebrows raise at her voice, obviously just joking around with the music with the way she mockingly sings geollyeosseo, but still sounding exceptionally good.

"I didn't know you could sing!" She half-yells over the loud music.

"You don't know a lot of things about me!" Yong yells back before joining in the chorus and Byul is content just to listen her playfully belt out the rest of song in a strange limbo between wonderful and obnoxiously loud.

An f(x) song comes on and Yong reaches out to turn down the music just as Byul reaches to turn it up resulting a weird hand grapple over the knob that lasts a few seconds too long. Byul retracts her hand first, placing it firmly on the steering wheel.

"Don't like f(x)?" She asks.

"They're okay." Yong says as she turns down the sound anyway. "More of a Blood, Sweat, and Tears girl."

"Ah, a basic girl." Byul turns to briefly give her one of her signature lopsided grins causing Yong to laugh.

"You have a very strange smile Byulyi. It's cute."

She blushes, hoping it's not visible in the dark lighting. "Um, thanks unnie."

Yong snorts, turning to look out the passenger window. "Uh huh. Sure, no problem buddy."

Byulyi didn't know why she felt the urge to friendzone Yong. Actually she very well knows the reason. This innocent flirtation is a dangerous game and honestly not good for her mental health. It's best to explain her flopping stomach as an aftermath of the honey chicken she ate earlier, and her reddening cheeks as a normal reaction to a complement. Yongsun is flirtatious, that's how she is with everyone, and Byul is no different from the rest.

The silence that returns again is a bit different, more charged than the first one. Like the kind where you're one move from making love to someone in the backseat of-

Byul shakes her head as her fingers clench the wheel tighter. Bad metaphor. Really bad metaphor.

"You good over there?" Yong asks. "Looks like you've seen a ghost. Or like your heterosexuality just flashed before your eyes."

Byul clenches her teeth in annoyance. "You are really something Yongsun."

"Try not to look so out of it while driving please, Byul-ah." She pouts, voice full of pseudo aegyo. She pokes Byul in the shoulder. "I'm not ready to die Byul-ah."

"Oh look! We're here!"

Ignoring her inwards twisting at the pet name, Byul gestures to the art museum a good half an hour outside of town. The first floor of building is made nearly entirely out of glass with steel accents providing style and structure. She's gone a few times since its opening, but the beauty of it still manages to wow her. Even Yong has stopped talking to admire.

After finding a parking space way further out than desired, Byul grabs her jacket and they begin their trek to the front doors where Eric claimed to meet them. She wishes she could bring her camera onto the premises though understands why a ban on photography is enforced.

They find Eric by the front, sitting on a bench and wearing a suit. Byulyi sighs and slips on her blazer. Yong sighs at nearly the same time but for a different reason altogether.

"Let the games begin." Yong mutters under her breath, causing Byul to glance at her questioningly.

"What'd you say?"

"I said, 'I love art shows'. Ready to begin."


	12. Chapter 12

Yongsun hated art exhibitions. It's not that she couldn't appreciate the beauty of the art itself, but to roam around next to pretentious prudes who use words like cubism and gesturalism to describe shapes and brushstrokes is definitely eye-roll inducing. She'd gone to too many already with her parents, but sacrifices sometimes have to be made. 

Sometime between the first ten minutes and the last hour, she'd checked out during the tour guides droning and Byul's excited elbow-jabbing and finger-pointing. Yong's pretty sure that Eric's just as bored but doing a much better job of hiding it. Unfortunately, being fake wasn't so easy for her.

During a lull in Byul's jabber, Yong pipes up, "How much do you want to bet I can convince one of those bartenders to give me some of the complementary wine?"

She gestures to the row of tables they're walking next to lined with fruit, cheese, and bread platters as well as various alcohols. They seemed to be some of the youngest patrons attending.

Eric scoffs, "Let me guess. You're going to try to flirt it out of that guy." He nods his head to a younger male bartender who's already staring in their direction, obviously attention-focused onto Yongsun who doesn't look remotely interested. 

"Nah, fuckboy number three is too easy a target Eric. And he's serving white wine." Her eyes scan the tables lazily. "I'll go for her."

Yong doesn't even wait for a respond as she weaves her way through the crowd and towards a modestly attractive woman, probably mid-thirties, wearing a wedding ring. Instead of wearing the generic black-and-white server attire she's clad in a fitted black dress with a golden nametag, marking her as the catering manager. 

"Hey, Ms. Diane?" 

The lady eyes, a dark gray, flicker to Yongsun, taking in her appearance, her face, her age. "Did you lose your parents or something?" 

Yongsun gives her a tight smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm eighteen."

"Okay. What do you want?" Diane isn't even looking at her anymore, eyes scanning the gallery floor.

"I just wanted to express my pleasant surprise on how well-catered this event is. The food is excellent."

"You haven't even eaten any."

Yongsun smirks a bit in acknowledgement. So she was right. The woman had been watching them walk around. More specifically Eric. She'd pegged the woman as a bored wife with cougar-ish tendencies. 

"We were wondering if you'd like to serve us some wine."

"Is he -" A cough, "-are your friends twenty-one?"

Yong shrugs. "Close enough. But not quite." Diane doesn't seem quite convinced yet, so Yong lowers her voice conspiratorially, "You know, my friend over there was just making a bet that he could get your number."

Diane's eyes flicker. "Did he now?"

"Uh huh. But he's a complete wimp without a drink inside him."

Was this a bit morally ambiguous? Maybe. Probably. 

Yong looks over at her companions. Eric has his back completely towards her, talking animatedly about something. She catches Byul's watchful eyes over his shoulder and gives her a small smile. Byul looks away quickly, guiltily. Yong feels a tiny surge of pleasure at the attention.

"Here." Yong turns to see Diane extending a bottle of whiskey and two glasses towards her. "And technically I did not serve minors alcohol. Serve yourself."

Yong nods, hurriedly taking the bottle and glasses. "Yep, I understand. Bye!"

Swiftly moving across the floor, Yong sidles back up to Byul and Eric and waggles the bottle in their faces. 

He turns to her sharply with a cocked eyebrow, "How'd you manage that?"

"Unimportant." She extending both glasses to them, "Bottoms up."

Eric grabs a glass and the bottle, shrugging nonchalantly at Yong's surprised look. "My friend drove me." 

"You aren't drinking?" Byul asks Yong, hesitating.

"Unfortunately I'm alcohol intolerant and should definitely not drink in public." She extends the glass further towards the younger girl, "Celebratory drink in my stead?" 

Byul grasps the glass, soft fingers brushing over Yong's in the process. "Thanks." 

Eric pours her a glass as Yong meanders her way over to another refreshment table, mulling over the most interesting part of this entire exhibit, though a bit fancy. She'd settle for kimchi, plain and in a can, but has no such luck. 

Cheeses. Lots of cheeses. She picks up a small cube of aged cheddar and sniffs at it curiously. Recoils. Bites into it anyway.

Yong looks around again, now for something to get rid of that god awful taste in her mouth, and makes eye contact with the young bartender again. He smirks, beckoning her towards him with a confident crook of his finger. 

A glance at Eric and Byul finds them preoccupied with sipping their whiskey and laughing about something. She clenches her jaw and releases just as quickly, looking back towards the bartender who smirks at her expectantly now. 

He's handsome. Probably used to getting any woman he wanted. She hates him for it, yet notes they probably have more in common than she'd like to think. He's the type she went for at her old high school. Boring, yet easy. Fun too. And it'd been so long since she'd actually had intercourse. Three months?

Yong looks him over again as he serves wine to a couple of old ladies and can't help the pull towards him. An ache, deep inside her.

"Hey, Yong. Ready now?" Byul's slightly slurred voice jars her out of her daze. She drags her stare over to the girl whose grin is a bit too wide. "Also. You need I think to drive." 

She chuckles, ignoring the bartender's eyes as she wraps a guiding arm around Byul's shoulders. "I think so too."

"Why do you put your arm on my shoulders?" Byul whines, "I'm taller than you."


	13. Chapter 13

Perhaps Byulyi had drank a little too much too quickly. She was halfway through the third whiskey shot when she wondered exactly how Yong was going to get home. Her mom needed the car for the morning and it'd be at least a half hour walk from her house to Yong's. A walk Yong shouldn't have to make so late and yet Byul can already feel her focus dissolving each passing second.

She decides to quickly look for Yong, wherever she's gone off to, unknowingly walking away from Eric mid-sentence. 

Byul finds her over near the cheese platters staring off...somewhere. She has a difficult time trying to follow Yong's line of sight, but from the suggestive smirk on her lips, Byul figures it's nowhere - or no one - good and approaches, asking her to take her home. To her pleasant surprise, Yong agrees immediately, wrapping a guiding arm around her shoulders.

"In hindsight," Yong mutters close to her ear, "giving you alcohol was a bad idea." Byul nods in agreement. "Then again, you're an adult who can make their own decisions."

Byul shakes her head. "Nope. I'm underaged."

"Seems fake but okay."

Yong guides them back over to Eric who, uncharacteristically, has a large grin on his face. He holds his whiskey glass precariously.

"You'll never guess. Guys!" He swallows and looks to Byul whose eyes slip and slide over his face in barely maintained focus. "I got a date!" 

Yong looks nervous and Byul looks at her in confusion, "How old was this woman?"

Why would Yong be nervous? Unless... unless she's secretly a heterosexual and was after Eric this entire time.

She gasps, apparently out loud due to the confused stares from Eric and Yong, and slips out of the older girl's hold in indignation. "How dare you try to lead me on?"

"What?!" They both exclaim and then glare at each other.

"You kept acting like you weren't interested." Eric explains, but Byul isn't even looking his direction. 

"Was this some sick game? Making me question my sexuality?"

Yong's perplex gape turns into a wide grin, "You what now?" 

Byul barrels on not even really listening anymore, "I bet - I bet you're not even bisexual and you're after Eric." And perhaps it's the sheer absurdity of that statement that brings a blush to her cheeks. "Oh my god."

Eric looks even more shocked, gaze flickering between Byul and Yong.

"You know, I - uh - should probably go now." He mutters, running a hand through his hair. "Thanks for the whiskey Yongsun."

"Don't thank me. Really." 

Byul stares down at her shoes, traumatized as Eric quickly walks towards the exit, his head shaking. She can feel Yong's eyes on her, but can't even bear to look up at her. 

"I take it you don't usually consume alcohol." 

"I'm sorry. That was wholly embarrassing. I didn't - I didn't mean what I said." 

"Mean what?" Byul doesn't see her face, but Yong's voice sounds strained. "Last thing I remember is you asking for a ride home." 

Byul ignores that. "It happened Yongsun. Eric's going to hate me and think I'm freak for questioning my -"

She falters with a shudder and blinks back hot tears, suddenly aware of their location near the center of the art gallery. 

"There's nothing with being gay - or questioning what you are." Yong says softly, guiding her once again by her shoulders towards the exit. 

"There is." 

It comes out harsher than Byul wanted and it wasn't at all as what she really meant. Objectively she felt nothing was wrong with homosexuality but she can't be it. She's not ready to accept it for herself even though some part of her already knows just what she is. 

"There is nothing wrong with how you're made." Yong says with her voice trembling in what sounds like anger. "It's out of your control." 

"If it weren't for you-"

They make it outside of the building and Yong turns on her with a flushed face. "Don't you dare place your repressed gay blame on me. I want what's best for you, Byulyi, I really fucking do. But I've put up with a lot of shit for being gay and I won't take it from you because you're insecure about it."

Byul flinches at the hissed words. "I'm not-"

"I may seem like some invincible bisexual or something, but when you say that what I am is wrong because it makes you feel better it hurts." 

Byul looks at Yong then - really looks at her beautiful, crestfallen face that she can tell probably went through the same thing she currently is going through. But it's different too.

"I'm sorry, but being a small-town lesbian is not what I need in my life. You don't know how bad it'd be here." 

Yong scoffs. "There's bigots everywhere." 

"Imagine not living in the city and being trapped in a small-town with them." She snaps, beginning to get annoyed. "It's not the same."

"Oh fuck you!" Yong says viciously. "Don't act like your life is so much worse than mine." 

"Well maybe it is!" 

Yongsun shakes her head in disbelief and disgust. "Guess I should drive you home before I decide to strand your drunk ass."

"Psh, you mean I'd strand you. My car."

"Even if I hated you I would not let you drive intoxicated." She extends a hand. "Give me your keys." 

Byul sighs, fiddling in her blazer pocket. Then after a moment, "I didn't mean it."

Yong rolls her eyes. "Mean what?" 

She finally fishes out her keys and looks Yong in the eyes, which she now notices are red-rimmed despite the scowl on her lips. Byul feels a pang of guilt, shifting her gaze towards the keys in her hand. 

"I really can't talk about my sexuality right now. Maybe..." Her voice falters and she shuffles uncomfortably. "Never mind. Can you just drive me home?" 

Yong snatches the car keys from her grip. "Gladly."


	14. Chapter 14

Yongsun wound up catching an Uber. Some part of her long-discarded plan was to get Byulyi drunk so she'd have to spend the Friday at the younger girl's house because she'd have 'no other way to get home'. However, that plan left the moment Byul started talking about how she really felt with the liquor's help.

The ride back to Byul's house was tense, mainly on Yong's half. Byul had the decency to ask how'd she get home to which Yong muttered a terse 'I'll find a way'. She knew Byul didn't mean a lot of what she had said... she also knew Byul had meant a lot of what she'd said. But what had really pissed her off was the nerve it took to claim her gay struggles were worse than her own. She'd meant that despite it being absolute bullshit.

Saturday morning, Yongsun filled her time at the local gym, thoughts of Byul reduced to a niggling thought in the back of her mind. Hyejin had asked to come over in the afternoon and she'd agreed, eager for a bit of distraction from this mess. However, it isn't exactly the distraction she'd anticipated.

"Wheein's coming to my house Sunday and I need to figure out if she's gay."

Yong's eyebrows shoot up at the abrupt statement and props herself up on the bed. "Hot damn Hyejin. How'd you swing that?"

"Funny story: Wheein goes to my Baptist church." Hyejin paces in front of the bed, "I'd always thought she was this pure Christian girl, right? But like you remember what happened in the hallway?"

"Yes and it really tickled your masochistic kink."

Hyejin pauses and smirks. "Haha. Anyway... apparently the woman who my mother is friends with is Wheein's mom and she's bringing Wheein to help us bake shit for a charity or some shit, I don't know."

Yong grins, "Who knew your mom would be your best wingwoman?"

She scoffs with an eye roll, "Dunno about that. I only bring the boyfriends home to mom."

"And so I come in how?"

"Maybe ask your girlfriend." Yong scowls at that and Hyejin raises her hands. "Whoa. Did something happen?"

"Nothing worth mentioning. Byul can't even figure if she herself is a homosexual, we'll find another way for Wheein."

"How?"

"I call it Codename: Gay Panic."

Hyejin perches on the edge of her bed. "Intriguing. Tell me more."

 

Helping Hyejin was a breath of fresh air, having a friend that she can she talk to without hesitation or worry was exactly what Yong needed today because everything else is so damn frustrating.

She lies on her bed, gazing up at the pale blue ceiling above her and regretting many things like not going home with the bartender from last night. That was her type. Hell, even the catering manager was more her type than Moon Byulyi is.

Groaning, Yong rubs a hand over her eyes. No bartender. No Hyejin. Honestly, she'd probably jump the bones of the next eligible person she sees the way she is right now. Byul be damned.

The doorbell rings and Yong jumps up in surprise. Her parents must have gotten home from shopping early then. She gets up and slips on her slippers, praying for the day her mother actually bothers to use her key so she doesn't have to walk downstairs every time.

The bell sounds again and she groans. "Yah eomeoni!" She opens the front door, "Don't you have a -"

Yong stares in shock at Byul who somehow appears to be equally surprised at Yong's presence taking in her loose t-shirt and boxer shorts both stolen from an ex-boyfriend.

Byul opens her mouth to speak but Yong interjects, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Hello to you too."

"You expect me to be happy to see you?" Yong asks incredulously. "After how you dared speak to me last night?"

Byul shifts on her feet. "I wanted to apologize."

She scoffs, "You could've just texted me like a normal person."

"I...don't have your number."

Yong opens her mouth to object but realizes the truth in that. All plans they've ever made have been in person, but still. "You could've waited until Monday to discuss this."

"Please Yong, just -" Byul sighs in exasperation. "Can I come inside? It's windy."

She hesitates, looking the younger girl up and down before stepping out of the doorway. "Sure, we wouldn't want poor Byulyi to suffer more than she usually does." Byul quickly steps inside and Yong shuts the door behind her. "Her life is so hard, you know? She's a casual martyr. Some may even compare her to Christ Himself."

"Yes, I understand your point and I'm sorry." She runs a hand through her hair. "I'm a mess and I was thinking about what a dick I was this whole morning and it was really bothering me. So much that I had to come today."

Yong sighs. "Ah, seriously Byul? You're not a mess."

Byul cracks a the tiniest of smiles, "But I was a dick, right?"

"Yes. You were."

"Then I'm sorry for projecting onto you. But ... I do care about our ... friendship."

Yong doesn't say anything but watches her thoughtfully. Byul in her house, loitering uncomfortably in the hallway with thick, unspoken tension heavy hanging over them. It was nothing like she'd imagined the scenario to be - definitely less romantic - but occurring nonetheless.

"Okay, well. Want to watch a drama or something?"

Byul nervously looks around, "A-are your parents home or-?"

"Dammit Byul, are you twelve? Cross my heart I'm not going to sexually harass you, alright?"

"That's not..." She sighs. "Sure, sounds fine. But just one."

Yong nods and begins to walk up the stairs in the hallway, hiding a smirk from her. "Laptop's in my room."


	15. Chapter 15

Byulyi's gut twists as Yong begins walking up the stairs that lead to her bedroom. She honestly doesn't know the reason that guided her over to Yong's house this Saturday evening, but it hadn't been the idea of an empty house and watching dramas in the older girl's bedroom. She'd figured this time of day was a safe bet that her family would be home, about to eat dinner, and Byul could offer a quick apology to relieve her guilt and leave. 

The house looks beautiful, expensive with its plush red carpets and golden framed tapestries lining the walls. She can spot a parlor - a parlor - off to the left with a grand piano in the corner of the room. Byul wonders whether it's for decoration or if a family member actually plays. 

Yong catches her wandering eyes with an unreadable expression. "Were you expecting a tour?" 

Byul shakes her head and follows her up the stairs towards the gates of Hell itself. 

Yong says nothing else as she walks past numerous doors until she reaches the end of the dim hallway where there's an ajar door. Maybe it's her silence that comforts Byul, no euphemisms or jokes to be heard. It could mean she's still angry and there won't be any funny business. That'd be a blessing. 

Wordlessly, Yong nudges the door open fully and steps in with Byul on her heels, suddenly curious about what her bedroom is like. 

Blue. The walls, the ceiling, and bed sheets were all some cohesive shade of the color. There's a wooden desk in the nearest corner of the room with a guitar propped against it's side. The two white doors on the right presumably leads to a bathroom and a closet. Other than a few pictures of unrecognizable people and random knickknacks, the bedroom feels bare and not particularly homely. Byul's unsure why she feels disappointed. 

"I had to throw away so much stuff before the move," Yong says quietly, almost seeming to read Byul's mind. "It's missing something." 

"Years of living in it maybe. Takes time for a house to become a home." 

Yong looks at her for a long moment and she begins to wonder if she'd said something wrong before Yong asks, "What kind of dramas do you like?" 

A shrug. "I'm open to suggestions." 

A grim nod. "It's as I feared, you know nothing about dramas and you're only trying to appease me." 

Byul splutters, "What? That's not-"

Yong flashes her a grin that makes her breath catch. "Relax, I'm just kidding." She kicks off her slippers and jumps onto her bed in one fluid motion. "Join me."

It's not a question.

Byul bends down to untie her shoes and to hide the flush in her cheeks. The nerve of this woman and her boxer shorts. Better shorts than briefs, she thinks. A small mercy.

"Why do you buy men's underwear?" She asks carefully as she stands and nudges the shoes off of her feet. "I mean...are they more comfortable?"

Yong laughs, "Buy them? I steal them from my conquests." The shock must've been evident on Byul's face because she sobers slightly. "Oh. Did you think I was..."

Yes. No. Some small part of Byul had liked to think Yong was all talk and not some experienced conquistador of the bedroom. It didn't matter either way. Definitely irrelevant to two friends casually watching a drama. 

"What drama do you have for us?" She inquires, sloppily changing the subject as she sits on the bed a good two feet away from Yong. 

Yong sighs before angling her screen so Byul can see too. "I think you'll like Strong Girl Bong-soon."

She nods and presses her back against the headboard. "Sounds fine." 

Yong hesitates, glancing at her. "...Can you see the screen okay?" 

Nope. She'd left her glasses in the car and the screen was far too fuzzy to be enjoyable but, "Yeah, just fine." She lies. 

"You're a horrible liar, Moon Byulyi." 

She gives Yong a sheepish smile before scooting over half a foot closer. "Now I can see perfectly." 

Yong presses play without further complaint and the drama starts up, Byul still unable to correctly see the screen - this time because of a glare. There's an opening sequence, a bus...

With an inward groan, Byul gives up any intention of following the plot and waits for the hour long episode to tick pass so she can come up with some excuse to leave. Family dinner or something. 

Yong murmurs something about how the construction workers seem nice and Byul nods vaguely turning her glazed stare from the laptop to Yong whose gaze is on her. Byul jumps in the surprise of finding herself watched. 

"The construction workers are evil. Are you not paying attention?" 

She sighs, completely uninterested in a drama at the moment, but unwilling to hurt her feelings. "Not really. There's a glare on the screen and-"

As if that was invitation enough, Yong scoots all the way over until her side is pressed against Byul's own. Her face mere inches away. Byul feels her body suddenly get very heated.

"Honestly Byul, you're such a little bitch." She smirks at the look of shock on her face, "It's cute though." 

Her mind is empty save for the honed acuity of every place Yong's body touched her own. The thigh, the shoulder, the elbow... Byul wanted to leave and place distance between them no matter how offensive that'd be to Yong. Then there's the small part of her that wished that all the distance there is would vanish, that niggling, troubling part of her. 

How did Yong expect her to watch the drama now with her so close? She smells so good, like persimmons. 

She glances at the thirty minutes left on the drama's first episode. Impossible. 

Yong shifts, her hip pressing into the curve in Byul's side like a matching puzzle piece. And she intakes a breath, loud enough that she knows Yong heard it. 

Tingling. She can feel it everywhere. And, almost of its own accord, her hand reaches out to caress the sensitive inner skin of Yong's forearm earning a sharp gasp from the older girl. 

Byul removes her hand just as fast and nearly falls out of the bed in her haste to get away. She'd never touched anyone like that, it'd never felt right but -

Yong's wide gaze watches her as she puts on her shoes, "Where are you going?" 

"I - uh -" Byul racks her brain for an excuse as she backs towards the door, "I just need to go."

Yong gets up, almost as if to pursue her, but Byul vanishes like the wind. The front door slamming shut before she can even put on her slippers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life ain't shit but a slow burn fanfic.


	16. Chapter 16

Hyejin awoke Sunday morning to the sound of her bedroom screeching open and slamming shut again: her mother's perfectly contrived way of waking her up in the morning.

Church in the morning and then Ms. Jung and Wheein are coming over to bake, her mother had explained the night before. She'd also made clear that there was no backing out on this on Hyejin's part, which the girl hadn't even planned on doing. This Sunday afternoon there would be gay panic and her lethargy would not stop that from happening.

She usually meets her parents at the church, her morning process being too slow for them to make it on time. She usually shuffles into church right before the sermon begins, sometimes she doesn't make it at all.

Hyejin manages to get dressed - a tight sweater and loose jeans - and makes it in time to catch a ride with her parents to the surprise and, honestly warranted, suspicion of her mother.

"What has you so excited about church today?" Her mother asks on the way outside of the house.

Hyejin gives her a lopsided smile. "I figured since Jesus Christ -the Lord and Savior - woke up from His death nap so early on Sunday morning, I could at least do Him the honor once. Right dad?"

He gives his daughter a long look before looking at his wife. "Hey, at least she'll be on time for once."

 

The Ahn family attends a medium-sized church on the edge of their small town and close enough to the next bigger town for some of their occupants to come over too. The parking lot is only half-full when they arrive making Hyejin gape in wonder. The perks of getting to church on time: a close parking space.

Her parents becoming immediately bombarded by friendly churchgoers asking life questions, Hyejin moves along on the sidewalk to avoid questions about school and grades. Now is the time to hide in the bathroom until service begins.

Hyejin spots Wheein the moment she enters the church doors, dressed in a long skirt and blazer, passing out the pamphlets. She makes a beeline to her and as Wheein glances up that holy smile doesn't falter.

"Good morning Hyejin," she says and stuffs a pamphlet into her hand, "enjoy the service."

"I can't wait for you to come over this afternoon." Hyejin says, lingering next to her. "I'm sure it'll be so fun."

The smile stays plastered on Wheein's lips even as her eyes harden, "You're holding up the line. Let's be gracious in the House of God."

Hyejin gives her a cheeky grin, "I know you can't wait either. The hard-to-get act is really too much though."

She finally cracks as a brief sneer flickers across her face, "Go sit your a-." She intakes a calming breath and her complacent smile returns as she hands a pamphlet to the person behind Hyejin, "Enjoy the service Miss Smith."

Bathroom forgotten now, Hyejin shifts to the side to lean against the front door beside Wheein who refuses to look at her. The lobby area is empty for the most part, save for a few small groups of people talking so her ignoring of Hyejin is strictly purposeful.

"You know, we've been going to this church since we were babies and I've never spoken to you once."

Wheein's lips tighten. "No you never spoke. You pushed me down those stairs in fifth grade and stuck gum in my hair in sixth."

Hyejin coughs, hiding a laugh. "Oh yeah, I did not like you. But hey," she tosses a casual arm around her shoulders, "people change."

With a cold glare, she steps out of the older girl's arm and stops another girl passing by. "Delilah, pass out these programs for me. I'll be back." She turns to Hyejin. "You. Come with me."

Wheein drags her away down some side hallway to a secluded corner of the church where even the sounds of random conversation fades into distance murmurs.

"Should we just get this out the way before I'm forced to spend more time with you this afternoon?" Wheein snaps.

Hyejin raises her eyebrows in surprise. "Wait. We're doing this right here? In church? I mean okay, but -"

"No Hyejin you-" Another calming sigh. "I will never like you in that way. This isn't some Byul and Yongsun thing where I might come around."

Hyejin tilts her head, "You're saying my approach is wrong?"

"I'm saying everyone is not a homosexual." Hyejin faces remains confused and Wheein groans. "I'm not gay, Hyejin."

Hyejin draws back like she's been hit. "Are you sure?"

"Obviously, yes I'm sure." She shrugs. "I like Sam Kim."

"Oh." Sam fucking Kim. Class president Sam Kim. Straight A's Sam Kim. Voice of an angel Sam Kim. Sam Kim can rot in Hell. "Yeah sure. You'd be perfect for each other."

Hyejin doesn't know if she means that, but it comes out bitter either way. She turns and walks away with a ringing settling in her ears and heat burning on her cheeks. Wheein doesn't call out to her. She didn't expect her to. Doesn't want her to.


	17. Chapter 17

Wheein would've preferred that confrontation had never happened and as she rides with her mother to the Ahn residence that regret expounds considerably. But it had to be done, didn't it? She couldn't have this girl flirting with her in full view of her Christian mother who isn't quite as accepting of these things as she is.

What she had said was true... for the most part. And her relationship with Sam this year has been going well, so well he asked her to the Halloween party at the end of this month without the pretense of going just as friends. He's the type of guy you date awhile and eventually end up marrying. Ahn Hyejin was - well, she doesn't know what she is. Didn't particularly care to either. She's just the friend of the girl that's trying to out her best friend. One can say the ties between them stretched thin.

Wheein's mother, on the other hand, frequently visits the Ahn household being close friends with Hyejin's mother, especially after being estranged from her father. She'd never gone over with her mother, always with an excuse of being too busy so she wouldn't have to interact with the demon child she believed Hyejin to be. She's no longer afraid of Hyejin but their personalities definitely remain a long way from being compatible.

They pull up to what Wheein assumes is the Ahn house, a one-story place in a more rural area of town with a garden area stretching around the side and disappearing behind the house. She sees Hyejin's father already hard at work outside. He looks up and gives the car a kind wave before returning to his work.

The property is quaint and homely, reminiscent of a place Wheein used to imagine she would grow old and die, tending to crops with grandchildren coming over to play. Not the type of place she'd imagine a she-devil to live.

As they park on the gravel driveway, her mother turns to her expectantly. "I can't imagine you've never come over with me before, but I really hope you and Hyejin can become close. She's such a nice girl."

Wheein resists the urge to roll her eyes, "We'll see, won't we?"

Hyejin's mother has already opened the front door by the time they make it up the porch and she beams at them, "Come in, I've made some tea for you." As they walk in, she leans back towards a far hall and shouts, "Hyejin! Guests are here!"

Wheein swallows hard as the raven-haired girl comes around the corner wearing a plastic smile on her brown face. Her eyes meet Wheein's and the smile transforms from fake to chilling.

Hyejin bows her head slightly. "Welcome Ms. Jung. Shall we bake cupcakes?"

No one appears to notice she completely ignored Wheein except for Wheein herself who quietly scoffs.

"Actually, we're going outside to make the lemonade. We thought you two could bake together." Hyejin's mother smiles coyly, "Bonding."

Wheein smiles tightly at Hyejin who doesn't even attempt to look pleased with the circumstance as their parents leave them alone. This is going to be awkward as hell.

"If we work together, this shouldn't take long-"

"Here's what going to happen," Hyejin says, holding up a hand, "I will chill in the dining room while you make the cupcakes so I don't have to talk to you."

Wheein barks out a laugh, eyeing her in amusement. "You are such a dick. A stupid one if you think I'm just going to do all the work for you." Hyejin leans against the counter and gapes at her. "I can be really nice, but I'm not a doormat Hyejin. Just because you're super pretty or whatever, doesn't mean it'll magically transform someone's sexuality if that's what this is about."

She smirks as she grabs sugar and flour from the pantry. "So, what you're saying is: I'm super pretty?"

"Mm, no. I think I said you were a dick."

It's too late though. Hyejin's eyes have brighten as she strides around the kitchen, taking out mixing bowls and ingredients. There might even be a tiny smile gracing her lips.

Wheein hesitates near the doorway with her head tilted, unsure of how to help. The other girl didn't look angry any more, her face relaxed into something Wheein imagines her resting face looks like when she's not putting on a show at school.

"You know," Hyejin turns to Wheein after a couple minutes, "you're the only person besides my mother who's called me pretty."

Wheein cocks an eyebrow, "Is this some roundabout way for me to compliment you again?"

"Nope." She says. "But how about you find a vanilla cupcake recipe so can we get started, huh?" Her haughty expression returns as she gestures to Wheein expectantly. "Chop chop."


	18. Chapter 18

Monday morning, Byulyi has an informal adviser meeting with her journalism teacher and mentor Ms. Evans who sits behind her desk in the dull glow of the sun's rays at dawn. Her face is bent into a Tolstoy novel thicker than her head and the light casting her hair usually brown hair a dark auburn. An intriguing effect, she yearns to go outside and utilize the fleeting light.

Byul creeps into the room and stands around the front of her desk. "Ms. Evans?" 

"Why are all your shots simply of nature?" Ms. Evans abruptly says without looking up and waves her hands in a circular motion, "While beautiful, this portfolio lacks human connection."

"Humans are boring." Byul says, plopping down in a desk. "There isn't much to say about us that hasn't been said."

"Wrong Byulyi. We are such a complicated species, and it's your job - as an artist - to capture that. Bring life into a still-motion photo."

"But Ms-"

"No buts. Your next portfolio should only contain human subjects." Byul gapes about to protest until Ms. Evans interrupts her with a sharp look. "Think of it as a challenge. You're extremely talented Byulyi, so don't waste it. You'll be graduating soon."

Byul leans back in her chair with her face in hands, "Don't think that isn't haunting me too. I'm holding out on sending my applications until this portfolio is perfect but I have so much to do."

"Then let's make the refurbished version due before the end of this month. And Byulyi?" Ms. Evans waits until she lowers her hands to continue, "The new student, Kim Yongsun, shows a lot of promise and prior experience from what I've read." 

Byul's face heats at the mention and she straightens her glasses. "Sure, but why do you bring her up?"

"To give you more time for your portfolio, I've given Yongsun the position of co-editor. Effective immediately."

She sits up, gaping incredulously at her teacher. "Ms. Evans, that's completely unnecessary-"

"You obviously can not tell when you're overworking yourself, so I will decide for you. You may use the media room, but you can only help out on Tuesdays and Thursdays." Ms. Evans says strictly. "You still have the head editor position, don't worry about your resume."

Sure, that had been on Byul's mind too, but the real problem stemmed from the fact she needs to be overworked to survive. She has a schedule and a forced break from an important aspect of her life would only ruin everything else like dominoes. 

"I work the best under stress." Byul pleads, "I need it to function."

"Just put that energy towards your portfolio."

She grinds her teeth in frustration, all of her self-control being used to prevent her from swearing. _It doesn't fucking work that way,_ she screams internally. 

"Okay," Byul complies knowing she isn't going to win this. "Just until I finished the portfolio."

Ms. Evans' shrug is nothing if not noncommittal. "We'll see."

The hell does that mean? Even though she knows Yongsun probably had nothing to do with this situation she still wants to curse at her too. 

"This isn't permanent. Right?" 

"Enjoy your freedom while you're young Byulyi. Worry less, huh? Live more, yeah?" Dodging the question then. 

Byul grabs her backpack, a muscle clenching in her jaw. "Though I appreciate your unwarranted concern, you're only doing more harm than good," Her voice barely more contained than a snarl. 

Ms. Evans only smiles, "I've lived a long time. I know this will be best for you." 

Shaking her head, Byul walks out the door with her shoulders bent inward. Only shooting a grinning Wheein, who waits across the hall, an empty glance before going to her locker.

"Byul, what's up? You look like someone shat in your chocolate ice cream." 

Byul grimaces as she spins in her code. "Gross, not helping Wheein. I got demoted and Yongsun is now co-editor."

Wheein inhales sharply, her cute angry face coming into her line of vision. "Tell me she did that on purpose and I will fuck her up." 

She huffs a short-lived laugh, then sobers. "Ms. Evans thinks I'm overworking myself. That's why." Byul waits for Wheein to disagree and take her side, but there's only silence. "...I don't overwork myself."

"You one-hundred percent overwork yourself." Wheein's lips tighten, a crater forming in her cheek. "But I know why."

"Well, unfortunately you're not my teacher." Byul stuffs in her backpack and slams her locker shut, its echo defining in the empty halls. 

Wheein smirks, "You can always join the band."

"Ha. I think I'd date Yongsun before that." Abrupt silence then, "That was a joke."

"Joke or not, you should do what you want Byul. Be yourself."

Byul's cheeks redden, "...it was just a joke."

She looks unconvinced. "Okay well...I'm going to the media room if you want to come."

"I'm going to take a breather outside." Byul waggles her camera. "See ya."

"We'll talk later Byul." 

With an absent nod, she heads towards the front doors and the quickly brightening sky. But any urge to take photos had long vanished as Wheein's - was it encouragement? - rings in her ears.

Classes haven't even begun and today is already more than she bargained for. But she holds onto Wheein's words as she steps outside and the sunlight burns her scalp and the incessant worry she tries to keep caged tugs at its bars.


	19. Chapter 19

Yongsun hasn't seen Byul since Saturday and as she stands in front of the media room in the younger girl's place, there's this niggling since of worry in the back of her head. Eric, seeming already informed of the editorial change, seems strangely compliant as he hands in his article Yong assumes was due today. Wheein hands in a comic when she enters: a festive Halloween-inspired bit with a gutted pumpkin and a stuffed scarecrow in some disturbing contrast that Yong assumes means something. 

She'd read R.B.W. High's newspaper, a biweekly pamphlet of a paper with only a sports, comic, and a couple major news sections. Impressive enough for a small crew like this. She still feels in over her head, having expected Byul to at least come in to show her the works. Yong figured she'd be furious - probably at her no doubt - but there had been some small hope that she'd care enough to come help. Yong figures she should learn to expect less from the girl and her ceaseless back-and-forth.

"I assume you don't know what you're doing?"

Yong looks at Wheein who has appeared to come up next to the her. Hyejin had told her that Wheein claimed to be straight, which was unfortunate but unsurprising to her. Having the entire newspaper team contain all gay women plus a straight boy would be frankly unbelievable and something of a fantasy that would stem from the imagination of a pervert. Easily something that would stem from Yong's own imagination. 

"I have an inkling." Yong replies with a wry grin that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "I was an editor once."

"Yes, of a queer journal, not an actual newspaper." 

Her lips quirk, "I'm sure you didn't come up here to offend me."

"Look, Byul's going to come and show you the ropes sometime soon," Wheein explains, voice just above a whisper, "she just needed a breather, being a full-time editor was a big part of her life." 

Yong forces her shoulders to shrug and stares some place above and behind the girl's head. "Okay? Why tell me?" It comes out more defensive than she wants.

"I read people well. You looked like you needed an explanation." Yong really looks at her then, the girl she'd discounted as a cute puppy turning into one whose eyes hold a certain intelligence you don't initially see. "Byul doesn't have her life together in the first place, so don't expect to be an exception."

"I don't." 

"If you want someone easy you should try elsewhere." 

"I won't." Yong snaps loud enough for Eric to glance up from his laptop.

Wheein doesn't even blink and they glare at each other for a moment, tension as thick as the desk between them. 

"Good," Wheein says quietly, "Because she obviously cares about you." 

Yong doesn't how or if Wheein knew she needed to hear that, but she did. There's always that small part of her that believes this is all some perplexing game where Byul is confused about her sexuality but not fundamentally interested in her. That maybe she's being overbearing and it was turning the girl off or worse. It isn't a confession from Byul's mouth or anything but...

"Thank you." She says.

Wheein nods in understanding. "Sure. Don't fuck up."

Yongsun spends the remainder of the time before classes start editing the submissions she received from Eric and eventually Hyejin who comes in later looking slightly sluggish and even more hungover. 

When questioned about it by Yong, she responded with a "Sunday Night, Turnt Night" which Yong assumed is some sort of life motto. Wheein seemed highly unaffected by her presence per usual and Hyejin back to completely ignoring her which is probably the best case scenario that could've happened.

As everyone files out of the media room as first period approaches, Byul steps in silently enough that Yong doesn't even notice her at first until the only people left in the room is them. She looks up from the computer then, meeting the - were they red-rimmed? - eyes of Byul. The strap of her camera is clenched tight in her fist as if it were a lifeline. 

A silence stretches out for a long moment, Yong expecting her to say something. Maybe snap at her? She wouldn't blame her if she did, Yong might've done the same. 

After the moment stretches on a beat too long, Yong pipes up cautiously, "Byul?"

"Ms. Evans says I need to use human subjects in my portfolio," she says not missing a beat, "and I want it to be you. You should be the focus."

Yong's mouth parts a bit in surprise. "Why me?"

"I think there is much to be said about you, Kim Yongsun." A tinge of red creeps up her throat but her eyes stay trained on Yong. "I think it's easier to capture the essence of subjects that are important to you."

A slow smile begins to form on Yong's lips as she takes in the fidgeting girl. "Is it now?"

"Why do you always smile so coquettishly?" Byul crosses her arms. "Will you?"

"Of course. You don't even have to ask twice."

"I already did."

"No, the first time was more an implication of a question, but not a real one." 

Byul gives her an enervated stare. "I take it back. I'm choosing someone else."

"Too late Byul-ah, I already said yes." She teases and the girl finally cracks a lopsided smile. "But you have to pay me in editorial tips."

"That's fair."


	20. Chapter 20

There's something so indescribable in the way Yongsun smiles, as if the full radiation of the sun is being projected onto you, only for you. It doesn't make sense to Byul that she doesn't have a boyfriend yet - or a girlfriend - and has only truly been paying her attention. The thought brings her prideful warmth from the attention and chilling dread that Yong will get bored of the games she's playing. It couldn't be fun for her to be pulled forward and pushed backwards, but the idea of facing those hidden thoughts and desires that she always submerges deep inside her is horrifying. 

It's selfish. Byul knows it, just like she knows how much she wants Yongsun. Even though she forces herself to repress her thoughts every conscious moment, there's only so much one can control their dreams. And they definitely weren't helping.

Byul flips a pencil over her fingers as she doesn't steal glances at the older girl in her Journalism class who looks too good for someone half-asleep and drooling at her desk. Wheein, sitting across from her, occasionally kicks the other's shin to temporarily wake her up. This is the burden of silent reading in a high school setting. 

This could be an interesting candid shot for her portfolio, but her camera is in her locker and there's something slightly creepy about snapping a photo of an unsuspecting person. She'd been scouring the internet for human interest photography and been equally impressed and put off. 

Human photography needs to appear candid while maintaining the rules and angles of photography containing objects or nature. It's in the moment. It has to be thought-provoking. It has to show humanity and all the unspoken words and emotions that go along with it. 

It was one hundred percent stressing Byul out thinking about it, so she decided to relax by not watching Yong whose eyes are closed with saliva pooling onto the slightly ajar corner of her lips, her cheek mashed against her palm. 

Byul once again debates getting her camera, if not for the portfolio for herself, when the bell rings and Yong snaps awake. Her eyes land on Byul, who hasn't had time to look away yet, and she gives her a knowing smirk before wiping the corner of her mouth and recoiling in disgust.

With a huff of laughter, Byul packs up her bag and slings it over a shoulder. Wheein sidles up next to her desk, leaning her hip against it. 

"Would you deign to eat lunch with me today?" She asks cutely, a finger in her dimple. "Does your busy schedule allow Byul-ah?" 

Byul rolls her eyes, a glimmer in them the only sign of amusement. "Since I've been laid off my editorial duties," a short glance at Ms. Evans behind her desk, "I guess I can eat with you."

She glances behind Wheein for Yong but finds no sign of her, gone with the rest of the students. A small wave of disappointment hits her, but she doesn't even know if Yong even has a lunch break during the 'A' time period.

"She usually eats lunch outside with Hyejin." Wheein says, observant as ever. "Did you want to eat with them?"

"You told me about Hyejin... you're fine with eating with her?"

She scoffs, "If anything she wouldn't want to eat with me. I harbor no resentment." 

"You 'harbor no resentment'?" Byul snorts, standing up from her chair. "I told you not to take that 19th Century Gothic literature course." 

She shrugs. "' _There is something at work in my soul, which I do not understand_ '."

"And it's called Mary Shelley's Frankenstein," Byul retorts. "C'mon, we only have an hour to eat."

 

Per Wheein's assumptions, they find Yongsun and Hyejin beneath the bleachers by the football field, sitting shoulder to shoulder and looking at something on a laptop. Yong is the first to notice their approach, looking at Wheein with an unreadable expression before nudging Hyejin with her arm. 

Hyejin glances up and smiles tightly. "Well, I didn't realize we had a meeting for the newspaper today."

"We just wanted to have lunch with you guys today." Wheein says. 

She opens her mouth, probably to say something sarcastic, but Yong speaks first, "Sure thing. We try to get through one episode of _Orange is the New Black_ each lunch period."

Wheein smirks. "What an original and surprising choice." 

"Ah, I get it." Hyejin says dryly, "It's because we're gay." 

Yong pats her empty side, shifting her attention to Byul. "Have a seat." 

Byul sits down beside her, tray balancing on her legs, the solid ground painful against her butt bones. "Maybe this was a mistake." She whispers.

"I dunno, you coming out to eat with me today seemed kind of nice." Yong looks at her sidelong, questioningly. 

"How cocky for you to assume you're the sole reason." 

Byul stares down into her food as she says it, but can still feel Yong's gaze burning into the side of her face for a moment after. Wheein sits on her other side scrolling through her media feed and she catches a glimpse of multiple band memes. Her friend cackles periodically, engulfed in her own world. And granted there appears to be some type of oral sex happening on the laptop screen, Byul has lost her appetite and doesn't quite know what to do with herself. 

Fiddling her fingers, she looks at Yong whose neck elegantly arches towards the screen and then her hand flat on the dirt between them. Too casual to really be casual. At least that's what Byul would like to believe. 

Byul shifts her position slightly, directing her body towards the laptop and brushing Yong's hand with her own for a brief moment. She holds her breath as her heart jumps in her chest, but Yong doesn't react. She stares deeply into the screen, hardly blinking. Byul, content in the effort she put in today, begins to think she can try again another day when Yong's hand flips so it's face up. Beckoning almost.

Byul glances at her face which remains unchanging. The only thing that moved is her hand. 

Before she can lose her nerve, she gingerly places her fingers in Yong's open palm. However, instead of holding her hand, Yong flips it over and begins picking at the loose skin along Byul's pinkie. Not holding hands then. It was a strange sensation kind of...nice maybe? Perhaps it's a nonverbal euphemism?

About thirty seconds later, Yong stops all together, too invested in the show to even fiddle with Byul's hand. She shifts slightly in frustration. The one time Byul's actually kind of aroused and doesn't wimp out Yong chooses to watch lesbians on tv instead. Okay. 

Byul supposes it's a taste of her own medicine. Fine. She has to meet Yong after school anyway for her lesson in editing. Maybe then.


	21. Chapter 21

First kisses are like rain. You can smell them coming. Sometimes its a light drizzle and timid, other times its a downpour coming about all of a sudden. There's also a significant chance of getting wet. 

Yongsun smirks quietly to herself as she walks outside to meet with Byul. So the girl tried to hold her hand earlier? The girl was getting brave. Or horny. To be honest, it doesn't even matter which, the result remains the same. And either it's time to utilize this weakness to her advantage or give her the Kim Yongsun Special: playing hard to get.

Byul does not know how much of a hit her pride took to get them to this moment. She is the one who is usually fawned over, not the one struggling to be noticed. And now, having seen the other side, she finds she doesn't like the uncertainty of it. 

Past lovers have said Yong likes control: over everyday situations and definitely in the bedroom. She faintly recalls a handcuff incident a few months ago where the woman actually thought she could convince Yong to be chained to a bed. That relationship didn't last long. 

Girls like handcuff-woman and douchebags like Tyler are a couple examples of the rare personality that's an absolute turn off for her. But guys are different anyway. They aren't her personal preference, so they have to hold some serious merit to keep her interest. 

She spies Byul on the edge of wooded area near the vacant football field. Apparently there's some away game today so the band and football team won't be using it today. She sits cross-legged against a tree, head is bent over a journal that she appears to be writing in. 

Yong creeps on to her from the side and crouches down slightly behind her. "Whatcha writing?"

"Ohmygod!" Byul drops her journal into her lap, breathing hard. "Dammit Yongsun. Really?"

Yong picks up the notebook, "Oh! It's a poem. Can I read it?"

"I -" She bites her lip. "Sure, I mean it's not about me or anything, so - it's just a prompt from class so you can -." 

Yong narrows her eyes at her. "Okay then."

 

_Sometimes I don't stop to think,_

_Most times I stop to think too much._

_This brain of mine has a mind of its own_

_Controlling my unconscious thoughts,_

_Shining lights on insecurities and fears._

 

Yong glances at Byul who fidgets nervously, watching her.

 

_There's terror knowing my worst enemy_

_Is currently and indefinitely in my head_

_And I have to battle it my entire life_

_Even when sometimes I just want to quit fi-_

 

Her gaze lingers on the incomplete poem, interrupted mid-word. "Are you okay?"

Byul's grin doesn't quite reach past her lips. "Yeah sure, everyone writes depressing poetry once in awhile. It's - uh - for class anyway."

Yong hands her back the journal. "Sure, but Wheein told me that being an editor is important to you. So...are you really okay?" 

Her hands tremble slightly as she closes it. "I -" She folds her hands and looks down at them in silence.

Yong frowns. " _Please don't shut me out again_." Byul opens her mouth to protest. " _Please don't slam the door_."

"...Are you actually singing Frozen right now?"

" _You don't have to keep your distance anymoreee-_ "

"Okay! No more." Byul leans her head back against the tree. "Truth is, I have anxiety. And depression. And, well, life's a bit overwhelming at times. So, staying busy helps me repress it. That's all." 

"And writing angst poetified?" She asks. Byul blinks. "Also, you rhymed no more with my anymore, so that was cute." Byul mouth hangs open. "What? You said you need to keep busy." 

"I mean-" She shrugs and pushes herself into a standing position. "Okay sure. I was thinking we could use this tree-"

"Mm." Yong hums absentmindedly. "Or we could finish what you were doing a poor job starting on our lunch break." 

A slight tinge of red blossoms on Byul's cheeks. "I don't know what you're-"

Yong grabs her clammy hand, intertwining their fingers. "Was it this?" Her thumb traces the back of Byul's hand and the girl shivers. Yong smirks. "Well geez, now it's getting a little PG-." 

Byul pulls her forward, just slightly, and leans forward to press her sharp nose to Yong's cheek. Her breath catches as Byul inhales her scent. Inhales her. 

"As much as I want to finish what I did a poor job starting," she mutters in a low, husky voice that sends warmth into Yong's core, "I really have to start my portfolio." 

Byul withdraws from Yong's space, the older girl breathless and blushing. For once at a loss for words. 

Now Byul scratches the back of her neck, actually acting like she's embarrassed. "Um. Anyway, I think we can use this tree-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I'm doing with my life


	22. Chapter 22

Byul peers through her camera lens at Yong who props against the sturdy tree and stares up at the cloudy sky, appearing to be contemplating life. Byul shakes her head. Too cheesy.

"Instead of mopey, try happy." She directs Yong. "Imagine your crush likes you back or something."

Yong's head swivels towards her. "Does she now?"

"It's your imagination so yeah," she mutters, not catching the implication at all, "believe whatever."

Yong slightly tilts the corner of her lips up and gazes into the camera. Byul wipes her sweaty palms on her jeans. Does she really have to look at me like that? The head tilt, the chubby cheeks.

She quickly snaps the photo. "Okay. Stop smiling."

Yong's smile grows instead. "Why do you hate my happiness? My crush likes me - oh!" She puts her hands over her mouth, wide-eyed. "Are - are you jealous?"

Byul rubs the bridge of her nose and ignores her. She skims through the photos they've taken so far, about a hundred shots of Yong leaning on, sitting by, and hugging the tree. All to just pick out the one that doesn't look completely shitty for her portfolio.

"Can I see them?"

"Oh. Sure." Byul nods, used to inanimate objects being her subjects and not people who'd probably like to see themselves.

She pulls the camera strap off from around her neck and slips it onto Yong's, brushing her hair out of the way. Her hands linger briefly.

"Just so you know," Byul says softly, "I care about this camera more than your life. And if you break it, I will end you."

"You and Wheein are too cute with your threats." Yong mutters, eyes focused on her lips. "I'm just waiting for you to do something."

She swallows, "Patience is a virtue."

"Because I'm such a virtuous woman?" She can feels Yong's fingers grazing along the waistband of her jeans, leaving tingling trails in their wake. She becomes acutely aware of just where they are.

Byul takes a couple steps back. "Someone could see us."

Yong sighs, dropping her hands. "You're not over that."

"Of course I'm not! I mean... no one at this school needs to know who I may or may not like." Byul shudders at the thought. "It'd one hundred percent get back to my parents."

"And?"

"And I can't be gay, Yong. Not now."

Yong crosses her arms and sighs. "...You know I once got eaten out in a Chuck E. Cheese bathroom."

"What the hell?!"

"You'd think the vibe would've been weird, but it was shockingly less awkward than this conversation we're having right now."

Byul gapes uselessly. "I don't know how to respond to that."

"I was thinking a story of similar merit." Byul just looks at her. "If you're going to keep giving me blue balls, I'm going to keep saying weird shit in lieu of a cold shower."

Byul snorts. "Okay, well, I've kissed a girl before."

Yong's jaw drops. "No fucking way."

"Seventh grade. Seven minutes in Heaven and scariest seven minutes of my life."

"I need the dirty details."

"Well," Byul sits down on the grass, "this was before I knew certain things about my sexuality, and I really liked this girl in the grade above me. Like whenever she'd talk to me, my breath would catch and my stomach would do weird things. I didn't know that I probably had a crush on her."

"Typical Byulyi." Yong interjects, earning a glare from the younger. "Sorry, go ahead."

"Anyway, she invited me to a sleepover with some girls and there were boys there, Eric and some others. So they decided to play Spin the Bottle."

"Classic eight grade behavior."

"Yeah, and so she spun the bottle hoping to get Rick on my left I think, but the bottle landed on me. Thinking about it now, she seemed pretty unfazed when we went upstairs to bedroom, but I was freaking out. I didn't know why."

"Couldn't you have just sat there for seven minutes and not done anything?"

"That's what I thought was going to happen but..." Byul blushes. "This is weird to talk about."

Yong shrugs innocently. "Nothing weird about it, just gals being pals."

"A couple minutes in she... uh." Byul looks up at the sky. "She started -um- rubinmythai."

"What was that?"

"And then I was like 'the roast beef was really good at lunch today'."

"Oh my god, Byul."

"And then she kinda satonmylap."

Yong laughs, "She what?"

"And I was like 'your mom's casserole at dinner was really good today'." Byul coughs. "And then I distinctly remember her saying 'I want to kiss you'. And yep. We kissed a few times and though nothing really changed after that, I thought about it a lot afterwards." Byul rolls her shoulders uncomfortably. "I think I had an inkling about my sexuality then."

"Woww. No shit." Yong cackles. "Who was this person huh? She would've graduated by now, right?"

"Um yeah." Byul rubs the back of her neck. "Her name was Krystal Jung."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I somehow put chapters 21 & 22 in the wrong fucking order. So I've switched it now and hopefully it makes more sense. I'm such an idiot. I apologize for the confusion.

"Who is Krystal?"

The question is innocent enough but Hyejin raises an eyebrow at the abrupt inquiry from Yongsun who lies at the edge of her bed. She could tell something had been gnawing at the older girl all evening and now suddenly this question.

"Krystal Jung? The fine piece of bisexual ass who graduated my freshman year?" Hyejin asks, eyeing Yong suspiciously.

Yong shrugs, not looking at her. "I guess so. What do you know about her?"

"We made out at a party this summer." Hyejin shifts on her pillows staring up at the ceiling, "It was a frat party no less, but I managed to-"

"But what do you know about her and Byul?"

She cackles a bit at Yong's serious expression, "I dunno. There was this gay rumor about them in middle school but once Krystal hit high school, nothing. They didn't really speak or anything."

"They kissed. Byul told me."

"Oh shit!" Her eyes light up. "That's the tea."

"Obviously you can't tell anyone this, but the way Byul talks about her even now..."

"Sis, you're not really about to get jealous over something that happened four years ago. Are you?"

Yong sits up on the bed and fiddles with a bracelet around her arm, silent and deep in thought.

Hyejin kicks her leg with a socked foot. "You're one of those types, huh?" Yong gives her a questioning look. "A hot woman who gets jealous for nothing? I know your self-esteem is not lacking. What's the problem?"

"I was just thinking."

"I was just thinking I could kick your ass."

Hyejin sighs and crawls over behind her, wrapping her limbs around her like a panda to a tree. She presses her forehead onto her neck and Yong relaxes slightly into her embrace, exhaling.

"I'm not jealous you know? I just hadn't expected Byul to have had someone else, you know? Before me." Yong puts her head in her hands. "Okay, now that I'm hearing myself I sound a little jealous."

"I know where Krystal lives if you want to go fight her or something."

Yong snorts, "And say what? 'Fuck you for kissing my almost-girlfriend five years ago'?"

Hyejin leans back and smirks, "'Almost-girlfriend'?" She almost swears she can see Yong's face turning red. "You cocky bitch. You guys are no closer to dating than I am to being a virgin."

"That's a weird flex."

"Hey, I'm just saying: ask the girl to the Halloween house party, find a room, and..." She gives a vulgar gesture with her hands, one in a circle with a finger penetrating it. "Or maybe..." She produces two peace signs and begins to intersect them before Yong slaps her hand away.

"Stop!"

"Sixty-nine that shit."

"Yep," Yong slides off the bed, "time for me to leave now."

"Are you getting horny?" Hyejin's smile is laced with suggestion, "I mean I know you said we were done hooking up but," she does the second gesture again, "you know?"

"At times like this, I wish Wheein had worked out for you."

Her face turns stormy, "She dissed my favorite show today. I don't know if it would have lasted even if she weren't so damn straight."

Yong puts on one of her shoes, "Are you going to the party with that Loco guy?"

Loco had approached her the other day, not to bother her with the party again, but to just chill underneath the bleachers. The guy shared one of the raps he was working on with her, not nearly as bad as she thought it would be but a strange interaction nonetheless. Though it feels as if he's pursuing her, he also seems intimidated the entire time they talk.

"The guy's weird and, to be honest, I don't know if I want to be around Wheein and her perfect date having such a great time."

Yong grimaces. "Right. Sam Kim. I mean he is cute though."

"Yongsun please."

"But you're hotter of course." Hyejin glares at her. "...And pussy tastes better?"

"Damn straight." A regretful sigh. "If only Wheein knew."

"Fullproof plan: get Wheein convicted of a crime and sent to a women's prison, get convicted to the same prison, she'll cling onto you because you're a bad bitch of course, and the lack of men will force her to resort to -"

"Hey, didn't you say you had to go?"

Yong scoffs. "I was trying to help you out man."

Hyejin shoos her out of the room with a 'see you tomorrow' and collapses back onto her bed with a grin on her face. Though completely useless, Yong's a good friend to have. It's unfamiliar how nice it feels to just have someone to talk to and banter with, something she's never really had in her adolescence. A friend.

A friend who'll soon probably be dating Byul and have no time to spend with her anymore. And then there'll be that weird friends-by-association thing with Wheein that she's dreading. There had been a nice moment in the kitchen with them, when they were making cupcakes, but as soon as school started back that truce seems to have been forgotten with the weekend. It's so hard to get a reading on the girl too. Not that it really matters.

Nothing matters if you don't allow it to.


	24. Chapter 24

The issue of Hyejin is bothering Wheein. It's not like she has to be liked by everyone, but Hyejin - she isn't a bad person and there's this faint feeling of guilt at the way she's treated her that's been tickling the back of Wheein's thoughts. It's distracting like the ticking clock in homeroom and the flute's sixteenth-note cadence in _The Magic Flute_ aria in symphony class. 

But an apology isn't really in order. She's done nothing wrong. So why is it bothering her so damn much? 

"What exactly are you wearing?" Wheein laughs as Byul steps out of the dressing room in a brown tweed suit jack and red bowtie. 

Byul scoffs, pushing back her jacket to reveal a pair of red suspenders. " What do you mean? I'm the eleventh Doctor."

"Who?" 

"Wow. It's an extremely renown British television series." Wheein nods in complete understanding now. It must be a show for geeks. "Get cultured Wheein." 

"Sorry." She mutters, not sounding sorry whatsoever.

Her already chosen costume lies flat across her legs in its bag, a perfectly normative Gryffindor uniform, and a wand box sits on the bench next to her as she helps Byul choose her outfit for the fast-approaching Halloween party. 

"We've done Bond, John Wick, and this doctor guy..." Wheein counts off on her fingers, "I'm seeing a pattern here."

"There's no pat-"

"You want to wear a suit." She says matter-of-factly, raising a challenging eyebrow at Byul who attempts to look as if she isn't aware. "Tell me I'm wrong." 

Byul splutters, "I - I mean - no. I can't."

"That's all you had to say." Wheein gets up and shifts through outfits on a nearby rack. "I mean I can do the makeup for you but -" she pulls one out, "-try it on." 

Byul nods in appreciation as she takes it. "Honestly, you're so good at costumes and yet you're going as Hermione Granger."

She shrugs to conceal her disappointment, "Sam wanted to go as Harry and we agreed to match."

Byul smirks, "Why aren't you going as Cho Chang then?"

"Are you being racist right now?" Wheein gives her a dull look. "Because the character does it enough on her own." 

She snorts as she slides the dressing room's curtain closed, "I just meant relationship-wise. Nationality's a bit off but closer." 

"Maybe it's a hint he wants to just go as friends." 

"Please. The guy likes you."

Wheein sits on the bench again, kicking her feet. "Enough about my date. You plan on getting one? Eric maybe?"

"Funny." 

"But for real." There's only the sound of rustling clothes from the room. "Hello?" 

"Nope. I don't have a date." 

Wheein pursues her lips. Her fingers drum against her jeans as she considers the use of prying more when they both know she's trying to inquire about Yongsun. Byul seems to be in a well-enough mood, so she's sure nothing horrible happened but Byul's never really been this secretive with anything. It's hard to get a read on anything happening with her recently. 

"How'd the photo shoot with Yong go?" 

"Pretty good." Wheein swears she can hear a grin in her voice. "I think I have a good one for the portfolio." 

"That's good." Wheein decides to drop it. 

"I'm not going to the party as her date. If that's what you were implying earlier. We - uh - we're just friends." A long hesitation. "Right now." 

Wheein blinks in surprise. That's the closest Byul's come to insinuating anything vaguely homosexual is happening between the two of them, to Wheein at least.

"Okay. We don't have to worry about matching costumes then."

"Like I would ever do that in the first place." 

Byul slides open the curtain before she can retort and steps out in her costume. An ankle-length cloak drapes over her shoulders, an almost priest-like white shirt with a suede vest over it, and cropped trousers. 

Wheein claps her hands with a grin. "Congrats! You perfectly fit the costume of a fourteen-year-old boy." Byul glowers at her. "And look damn good!"

Byul looks into the three-way mirror and does a spin. "I mean, I'm digging the cloak."

"We can get some vampire teeth and some dark eye makeup -"

"- and some fake blood." A crooked grin spreads across her face. "I like." 

"Aren't you glad I came?" 

"Of course Wheein." Byul mutters, still checking herself out in the mirror. "I wonder what Yong will be wearing." 

"Probably something sexy yet offensive. A hot nurse or something." Wheein catches Byul drawing her lip between her teeth, eyes dimming. "I swear, if you're actually imagining something right now..." 

Byul coughs as red creeps up her neck. "I'm just trying to look at myself in the mirror."

"And biting your lip?"

"I look hot." 

Wheein considers to herself if Byul's always acted this gay or if now that she expects it from her it has become blatantly obvious. 

"Okayy, just asking."

Byul quickly disappears behind the dressing room curtain again with a flourish of her cape. "I am done with this conversation peasant. I need to go home to feed. Bleh bleh."

"You can run but you can't hide your kinky shame behind a ratty dressing room curtain, Byulyi."

"Bleh."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mamamoo 'White Wind' comeback is incoming! Let's get it!


	25. Chapter 25

It's Friday already. Yongsun leans back with a relieved sigh as she clicks enter on her fifth college app of the night. State schools were a guarantee. Her GPA was a 3.89, her ACT was a 31. But she wanted to go further away from here, despite just getting here. And...be what exactly?

A newspaper editor?

The past few years she's been back-seating any ideas for a major, figuring one day it'd just speak to her. But it was college app season and there was silence. Byul was applying to art schools, Wheein would too in a couple years, and Hyejin never spoke about it. She knows she won't go to the same school as Byul which makes her feel -

She doesn't quite know how she feels about it. She actually doesn't know that much about the girl except for her infatuation for her - the games they were playing. That made her nervous in the best and worst of ways. She'd never really felt nervous like this before - like maybe a step too far in the wrong direction would ruin something good.

When she first moved here, she expected to be a kid in a candy store that tried all the different flavors before buying - or maybe just leaving without buying. And yet here she is, in a candy store but fixated on that one Willy Wonka bar that sits high on a shelf, hoping for a golden ticket.

 _That metaphor was a bit much,_  Yong thinks and scoots her chair back from her desk.  _I'm hungry as shit_.

She spots her phone on the bed lighting up with a text and springs off her chair into a full belly flop grateful for any kind of distraction. She fights off a smile at the name, sliding open her screen.

 

**Main Bitch**

_Hey Yong. Wheein and I are going to_

_eat at Victor's tonight at 8. She said to_

_invite you and Hyejin._

**Yong**

_oh she asked you to invite us_

**Main Bitch**

_Is that a question or statement?_

_You should use punctuation._

 

Yongsun rolls her eyes, tapping over to Hyejin's messages.

 

**Yong**

_wheein invited us for pizza_

_at victor's. yo coming?_

**Side Bitch**

_she actually invited me?_

_when?_

**Yong**

_ye it's at 8_

_you should come_

**Side Bitch**

_maybe_

 

Unfortunately with Hyejin, her 'maybe' means she probably won't do it. Like let you have a bite of her pizza or a piece of her weed brownie.

 

**Yong**

_i feel betrayed but you know_

_whatever_  😿

**Side Bitch**

_is that a crying cat?_

_what the actual fuck_

_a cat doesn't cry_

**Yong**

_feel empathy for me_

_its a cute animal that is crying_

**Side Bitch**

_in what world is that ugly ass cat cute_

_no empathy_

 

Yongsun tosses her phone away before getting up and rolling her neck until she feels that familiar pop. It was fine. Everything was great. She'd get to see Byulyi for one more time today and that was worth waiting - she glances at her clock - an hour and a half before eating. Barely.

 

 

Victor's Pizzeria and Games had a name that's fairly explanatory. Half-restaurant and half-arcade it's the prime hangout spot for adolescents to bring their dates, their friends, and family. Only halfway through the front door, Yong gets spotted by a few cheerleaders, one of them Seulgi, who smile and wave her over.

Smiling and shaking her head, she melts deeper into the crowd towards the restaurant area where the people began to thin out a bit. Most people probably have eaten by now.

Edging past the hostess, Yong spies Wheein sitting alone at a bright red booth in the corner reading a book, "Animal Farm" it seemed. Four menus laid spread out on the table and she nudges one as she slides into the side across from her.

"How's it going Wheein?" She asks as Wheein glances up from her novella.

"'Let's face it: our lives are miserable, laborious, and short'." She says without expression and Yong coughs awkwardly.

"Um. You okay?"

"I'm quoting." Wheein waves the book before setting it down beside her. "Where's your friend?"

"You know her name Wheein."

"You  _are_  her friend Yongsun."

Yong looks at her a long moment, sighs, and picks up her menu. "I don't know if Hyejin's coming. But thanks for inviting her. Sure she appreciates it."

Wheein nods slightly, absentmindedly. "I'm surprised. Figured you would've asked for Byulyi by now."

She scans the menu. "I figured that would've been rude. I don't mind your company." There's a long silence and Yong glances up from a picture of hot wings menu to find Wheein staring at her. "Um?"

"I've been feeling..." she hesitates, tapping her fingers on the table, "regretful about how I've left things with Hyejin."

Yong lifts her eyebrows, "Like...in a gay way?"

"What?! No!" Wheein exclaims before glancing around. "Don't say things like that here."

"You and Byul are some paranoid bitches." She raises her voice, "I'm gay!" Her voice drowns out in the talking and music. "See? No one heard."

"Can I finish now?" Yong mimics zipping her lips. "I'd like to be friends with Hyejin and I was wondering how I could fix things?"

"Wow." Yong holds back a smirk. "This has really been eating you out huh?"

"Not...really."

"Okayyy. If you wanna make progress with Hyejin try to find some common ground. She was offended when you dissed her favorite show, you know. Maybe apologize."

Wheein shakes her head in disappointment. "I knew talking you would be a waste of time."

"Wha- hey! I'm helpful!"

"Helpful with what?"

Yongsun looks over as Byul slides into the booth next to her, glasses placed onto the bridge of nose and a baseball cap snuggled onto her head. She immediately forgets whatever she'd been talking about.

"Unhelpful with helping me figure out what I want to eat." Wheein gives her a warning glance before picking up the menu.

Byul turns to her with a timid smile. "You look nice."

Yong glances down at her Mickey Mouse sweatshirt and jeans in confusion. "I do?"

Byul's nose scrunches as her grin grows. "You're looking at the wrong place." She quickly pokes her cheek before grabbing the menu. "Who wants to split a pizza?"

Wheein sighs, looking up to the sky as if to find help there. "Who knew you were such a disgusting flirt, Byulyi? I mean truly. I'm disgusted."

Yong clears her throat and burns a hole into the menu, trying to ignore the heat rushing to her face. How could Byul make the advance first? She felt off-balance now. Her heart is beating too fast.

_Recover before it's too late._

"I'll split it with you." She offers, leaning over and placing her chin on Byul's shoulder and feeling her stiffen. She points at the other girl's menu. "I think I'd like bacon and chicken." She whispers and tilts her head, lips barely brushing her ear, "I trust you'll order for me right?"

Yong doesn't even feel Byul breathing anymore as she leans away with a satisfied smirk.

Wheein has her face buried in her menu as Hyejin walks up to the table, frowning. "The hell did I just walk in on?"


	26. Chapter 26

Byul is getting antsy. As they waited for their pizzas to arrive, they divulged in small talk where Hyejin and Wheein were simultaneously engaging in the conversation yet somehow not addressing the other at all. Five minutes in, Yong had placed her hand on Byul's thigh beneath the table, fingers massaging the sensitive inner side.

Unrelated, but about five minutes ago, Byul had lost track of the conversation.

"Byul?" She snaps back to attention as Wheein calls her, waving a hand from across the table. "You've been in a whole other place the past few minutes."

"Funny," Hyejin says with a shit-eating grin, "Yong's right hand has been missing for about that long."

Byul flushes and Yong shows both her hands above the table. "My hands are clean."

"Then why does Byulyi look like she's about to bust a nut?"

"My stomach is distracting me," Byul says lamely. "I'm really hungry."

Hyejin raises an eyebrow with that grin still plastered to her face. "Are we still talking about pizza here?"

Yong glances at Byul's reddened cheeks and slightly shakes her head at her Hyejin. "Not right now."

A muscle flickers in her jaw and she almost looks as she'd say something else, but just leans back into the booth, arms crossed. "Fine."

Byul looks at Yong gratefully, but she doesn't notice, instead taking a sip of her root beer and clasping her hands on the table. Wheein bristles uncomfortably before picking her book back up again and continuing to read.

Somehow Byul feels guilty, as if this entire awkwardness is her fault. "Have you guys figured out your costumes for the Halloween party?"

The corner of Yong's lips quirk as she gives Hyejin a knowing look. "We have." Wheein makes eye contact with Byul over the top of her book. "I think you guys will really like them."

"Please do not include me in that sentence." Wheein mutters.

"C'mon Wheein," Hyejin says, finally addressing her with a long sigh, "you can be straight but you can't be a buzzkill."

She blinks. "Excuse me?"

"No offense, but you are like zero fun, my guy."

Wheein sets down her book slowly with a deadly look in her eyes. Byul gulps, looking between the two of them. Hyejin wearing an taunting smile as she takes in Wheein's attention.

"You. Me. Arcade." She growls, nearly pushing a startled Hyejin out of the booth. "Now."

Wheein drags Hyejin out of the restaurant stepping briskly into the gaming area next door. Hyejin casts a glance at Yong over her shoulder, beaming like a kid picked first for kickball.

Byul watches them leave, mouth slightly ajar. "What was that?"

Yong snorts, sitting back against the wall and kicking her feet onto Byul's lap. "That was Hyejin being a smooth motherfucker."

She sighs. "Don't tell me she's still trying to get with her?"

"I mean maybe... there's a chance Wheein could be bisexual."

Byul drums her fingers on the table, jaw tightening. "You know, Yongsun, some people can be straight. Most people actually."

Yong cocks her head to the side, furrowing her brow. "Have I struck a nerve or something?"

She sighs. "Maybe you guys should just allow Wheein to be happy. She's had a crush on Sam Kim for ages and it's finally happening. So can you tell your friend to give it a rest?"

"Oh." Yong says, quirking her eyebrows. "She's 'my friend' now?"

"I'm just saying that not everything is part of your gay agenda."

"Your whole life's a gay agenda, Byul." She raises her hands at the scowl Byul throws at her. "But okay. I concede. I don't want you mad at me on our first date."

Byul's eyes widen and she glances around them, before lowering her voice. "This is  _not_  our first date."

"Oh thank god. It wasn't going well."

"You're being highly presumptuous."

"About what?"

"That'd I'll take you on a date one day." Byul says softly, redness creeping her throat. "When did we decide you were the  _femme_  in this..."

"Relationship?" Yong offers with a slow smile. Byul's focus centers onto a spot on the table. "I'm not saying we assume a role or put whatever label you're afraid of putting on us. But we can agree we're exclusive, right?"

Byul coughs out a short laugh. "I should be asking you that. You're the one with all the options."

"I need to get you before all the gay women catch wind of your scent." Byul rolls her eyes. "Hey! You're hot. I might have to kill a bitch in the near future. And, if we're exclusive, it'll be murder in the case of self-defense."

"You are being absolutely ridiculous." Byul says, laughing. She brushes a finger down Yong's ankle beneath the tabletop. "It's kind of cute. In psychotic way."

She bites her lower lip, drawing Byul's gaze. "Should I be psychotic more often?"

"No, let's not do that."

"Sorry, the pizzas took so long." Byul jumps at the young waitress' voice next to her who carries a pizza pan in each hand.

"It's all good." Byul says, moving her drinks out of the way. "They smell delicious."

"You look delicious." Yong's legs stiffen on Byul's and the waiter laughs nervously. "I- I mean," she sets down the trays, "I really like your hat, looks nice on you."

"Thank you?" Byul peers at her nametag, "Lacy?"

The waitress beams proudly. "Sure, just call me if you need anything." She spares a glance at Yong before looking back at Byul. "Enjoy guys!"

Byul turns to Yong who has murder in her eyes. Catching Byul's look, she slowly slides a finger across her throat and gestures to Lacy's retreating back.

"She was just being nice."

"It's the motherfucking lesbian scent, Byul!" Yong whisper-yells. "We are like wolves!" Byul slides their pizza closer with a crooked smirk. "Where's the closest  _Claire's_? It's time to invest in promise rings."

"We are exclusive Yong. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Hm." Yong kicks her feet off Byul's legs and scoots closer. "Are you going to feed me pizza now?" 

"I will hold your hand."

"Nah, I have to eat with my right hand." She grabs a slice of pizza and bites into it. "Maybe you can feed me desert later." Byul chokes on a bite of pizza. "You fucking pervert. That was not what I meant."


	27. Chapter 27

Wheein's short frame nearly disappears into the crowd as she squeezes her way to the coin machine with Hyejin struggling to stay on her heels. She stops and holds out a hand towards Hyejin.

"Gimme money."

She blinks, reaching into her pocket. "Don't you have money?"

Wheein waits until the five dollar bill is placed in her hand before saying, "Yep."

Hyejin gapes, fuming slightly as the girl retrieves twenty coins from the machine. Wheein cups her hand and transfers half of them to her before sweeping her eyes over the area.

"How are you with Dance Dance Revolution?" Wheein asks, not waiting for a response as she heads over.

"I dunno. I never really go out to places like this." Hyejin grips onto the back of her hoodie.

She hums. "That's right. You used to be a loner."

"Used to?"

"Well now you're friends with Yongsun aren't you?"

Hyejin nods slowly even though Wheein can't see her. This whole experience tonight is strange: eating with three other people and talking and laughing with each other. Then she has to watch what she says around the more sensitive of the two that don't take her crude jokes as well as Yong does.

She doesn't really care what Byulyi - or even Wheein - thinks of her all that much and yet she feels the urge to be respectful to them for the sake of Yong. Is that what friendship is, because it leaves a weird taste in her mouth?

"I'll have you know that I'm an excellent dancer."

Wheein stretches in front of the currently busy machine, pulling her arms above her head in a way that lifts her shirt and a cute bellybutton pokes out. Her face scrunches with the effort, crinkling her nose.

 _Everything you do is cute isn't it?_ Hyejin thinks in frustration, looking somewhere else across the room.  _Except towards me I guess._

"We'll see." Hyejin finally responds. She glances at her phone.

"And now you're being no fun." Wheein says matter-of-fact.

Hyejin smirks at her pout. "Aren't you cute?"

"I said 'fun' not 'flirty'." She says, not amused. "You would not believe how many times I've been called cute."

"You are what you are. I've probably been called 'a fine piece of ass' just as many times."

Wheein subtly glances at her curvy hips. "Well I mean -" she clears her throat, "that's revolting."

"Didn't say I liked it. But they speak the truth."

She snorts. "You are so far up your own ass."

Hyejin shrugs, "It feels good. And people say anal sucks."

"Pretty sure it was oral that sucked."

Hyejin opens her mouth to retort but pauses, slowly starting to grin. "Was that a joke?"

"Nope."

The couple on the DDR machine finally leaves and Wheein steps up onto the blue-and-purple platform, kicking her Vans against the surface like a baseball player up to hit. Hyejin suddenly feels nervous as she comes to stand next to her.

"I'll let you pick the song," Wheein says coolly as she inserts the coins, "you'll need the advantage."

Ignoring that jab, Hyejin scrolls down the list of songs looking for something familiar yet somewhat obscure.

" _BOOM_?" Wheein mutters.

"Sure. It might be a little fast. I dunno if you can handl-"

Wheein steps on her start button and nods her head towards Hyejin. "Let's go."

Hyejin looks at the other girl rolling her neck and shaking out her hands as the steps begin to shoot down the screen along with a heavy bass bear. It's only moderately-paced but overwhelming for the first-timer.

She tentatively makes her first step to the  _right_ , stumbling as she quickly places her other foot on the  _up_  step.  _Right_ ,  _down_.  _Left_ ,  _right_. She spares a glance at Wheein who effortlessly glides across the floor, bobbing her head to the heavy bass-driven rhythm.

"Fu-" she loses the beat, missing the next few steps. Her legs already feel tired and she steps back from the playing board, observing Wheein again.

Pieces of brown hair were beginning to stick to her forehead and her steps become a blur as the beat picks up and a series of complex steps flies down the screen. Hyejin is sure she would have fell on her face if she had attempted it.

 _She's good,_  Hyejin duly notes. She'd never considered dancing to be a particularly attractive attribute until this very moment, though she realizes there could be some bias.

The song stops along with Wheein who finally seems to realize that Hyejin is missing from the platform next to her. She turns around, panting slightly but with a pleased glow in her eyes.

"What happened to you?"

"I...decided to spectate."

Wheein laughs for the first time Hyejin's heard tonight. It's such a big sound for someone so small. Hyejin finds herself smiling.

"You aren't that bad Hyejin." She steps off of the platform allowing the next people on. "You just take some getting used to, like Dance Dance Revolution."

"My brain-to-mouth filter doesn't always work."

"I know." Wheein says suddenly solemn. "But give Byul a break. You pick on her like you're jealous or something."

Hyejin grins, "I am definitely not into Byulyi."

"I'm not talking about her." Hyejin's mouth tightens in annoyance. "I don't know if it's platonic or romantic-"

"Could you try not to read into me for like half-a-second?" She clasps her hands, mockingly pleading. "I would  _love_ that."

"Sorry," she says, almost sounding genuine this time, "something about your face just brings out the worst in me."

"Oof. There it is." Hyejin places a hand over her heart but smiles. "Think our pizza will be ready by now?"

"Probably, but you wanna do something else? God knows what they're doing in that booth right now."

"Or under that booth."

Wheein grimaces at the thought. "Yeah. How about we try that bowling game?"

"After you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'll be a Wheesa double feature, so I'll post both chapters today.


	28. Chapter 28

"A sleepover?"

Back in the booth, Hyejin freezes mid-bite into her pepperoni and sausage pizza, eyes flickering between Byulyi and Yongsun. She slowly sets the pizza down on her plate.

"Why the hell would we have a sleepover?" she asks Yong who lounges comfortably with her feet propped up on Byul's lap.

"Yeah," Wheein pipes up. She wipes her mouth with a napkin, a distasteful frown on her face. "Is this some sort of cover up for you two to like...?"

Byul blanches, waving her hands as if to ward away evil. "No! No. I mean, Yong had to blackmail me to agree."

"I did not blackmail you!" Yong snaps and turns to Hyejin with a smirk, "I called in a favor from earlier this year."

"Blackmail." Byul mutters under her breath and Yong nudges her with her shoe.

"Not interested in third-wheeling on you guys." Hyejin says. "We all know the vibe is going to be weird as fuck."

"It's going to be a friendly sleepover," Yong says. "You and me, Wheein and Byul. It'll be fun and platonic."

"Since when has our friendship been built on  _lies_?"

Yong runs a hand through her hair and looks helplessly to Wheein who shrugs, "I'm with Hyejin on this one."

"Byul-ah," Yong pouts and Byul looks up wide-eyed, "talk to your friend."

Byul turns to Wheein with the same 'deer-in-headlights' expression. "Um. Please?"

The waitress from earlier comes back to refill their drinks and Hyejin notices a significant transformation from Yong's relaxed expression to a suspiciously tight one as she watches the woman. Hyejin can almost see her restraining herself from moving closer to Byul. She looks at the waitress whose wide grin and friendly gaze is essentially focused solely on Byul.

Hyejin exchanges a glance with Wheein who seems to have noticed the same thing but with a lot less amusement than what she's feeling.

"Do you guys go to RBW?" The blonde waitress asks.

"Yeah," Hyejin responds, suddenly noticing the waitress is kind of cute, "but I haven't seen you around."

"Ah, well I moved to go the college here. I'm just a sophomore," she glances at Byul, "but I know a few people from the high school. You guys know a Haley Griffs or Krystal Jung?"

Byul immediately straightens, nearly tossing Yong's feet off of her. "Yeah, I was friends with Krystal awhile ago. How is she these days, Lacy?"

_Lacy?_  Hyejin thinks.  _They're on first name basis now?_

Lacy takes this opportunity to turn directly to Byul, leaning her hip against the table. Hyejin does not look at her butt for the sake of common decency.

"She's doing well. We were actually... together for awhile." All of their eyebrows shoot up at that sudden confession. "Now we're just good friends."

"Wow." Byul mutters, "You're - uh - pretty open huh?"

Lacy snorts a bit, covering her mouth with her hands. "Ah, sorry. In high school people care so much about what people think about them, but in college - well, no one really gives a damn about you."

Byul breaks out in a relieved smile. "Really? I mean that's really nice to hear actually."

"Sure. And maybe I could take you on campus to hang out with us sometime."

Hyejin glances at Yong's face which is scarily devoid of emotion. The only sign of her annoyance is her intense grip on the booth's seat cushion. Hyejin guessed technically Yong didn't really have a right to say anything, her and Byul weren't actually dating.

"I've got to check on some more tables," Lacy continues after a moment of tense silent. "You can talk about it with your...friends," she looks directly at Yong. "The more the merrier."

They watch her leave and, once she gets far enough away, Wheein clears her throat. "Byul, I think you just got invited to an orgy."

"That's ridiculous, it's just a hangout." Byul counters, but she looks shocked and embarrassed. "You think I should I go?" Met with silence, she turns to her left. "Yong?"

She shrugs, sipping her drink slowly. "It's your decision Byul."

"I say enjoy your single life," Hyejin says, "orgies don't just happen every day." Yong shoots her a cold glare.

"I would like to go. But only if you go with me Yong," Byul says. "Just in case she is flirting with me like you said."

Wheein actually giggles. "You think there's some chance that waitress was  _not_ flirting with you?" 

"Either way, it doesn't matter. I'm not interested in her." She gives Yong a pointed look.

Yong lifts her shoulders once again. "I didn't say anything this time."

"It's all in your face, darling." Byul chides softly, poking her ankle.

She slaps her shoulder. "Don't you dare start giving me those generic ass pet names."

"Ow!" Byul clutches her arm. "The hell? I was trying to be cute."

"Don't."

Wheein watches them closely with her chin on her hands, a look of cautious understanding spreading across her face. Hyejin suddenly realizes how new this entire situation must be to her. Her best friend essentially coming out as gay just all of a sudden after hiding it from her for what has to be at least a few years now. This cocky girl just moving to town finding out Byul's sexuality before her and Hyejin being an ass to her the entire time.

Hyejin feels a surge of respect for Wheein and the way she's handling this. Some 'friends' would get angry and spiteful, maybe even disgusted - it'd happened to Hyejin a few times - and yet Wheein remained there for her friend. Protective of her too.

"Why are you staring at me?"

Hyejin startles as she realizes Wheein's looking right back at her now. Instead of a look of annoyance like usual, there's a tiny smile playing on her mouth.

"I -" Hyejin shakes her head, "I just zoned out."

"You know, it's weird." She says quietly, "I mean their whole relationship has been developing over a month I guess, but it just feels sudden. And I don't think I really got it at first - maybe not even now - but..." She trails off, spinning her straw around in her glass. "But she seems really happy lately."

Hyejin nods, glancing at the two ironically bickering across the table. "Yeah, they both do."

"Byul has always had this -" Wheein taps her head, "- this mind thing where she overthinks and worries about everything but then there's Yong who's just spontaneous and unconcerned. I hated it at first, I thought she was just playing games with her, and maybe she was, but she stuck around." She huffs a laugh. "I'm sorry. I just can't really talk about this with anyone else."

"No, I get it. You're a damn good friend to her, Wheein. Seriously."

The waitress comes back up to the table before a surprised Wheein can respond and places their bills and to-go boxes on the table.

"I hope you guys enjoyed your night." Lacy says with a friendly look around the table. "Make sure you check your bills."

She leaves just as Byul squints at her bill. "She wrote her number."

"She's put all the cards on your table. Honestly it's something I'd do." Yong says begrudgingly. "What? What're you doing?"

Byul looks up from her phone. "Putting her number in? You're coming with me, aren't you?" Yong glowers at her.

"You know, I think we'll come to the sleepover." Wheein says, putting her hand on Hyejin's arm.

Hyejin blinks, looking between Wheein and her hand. "We are?"

"Sure. I think they could use a buffer." She mutters softly.

Yong scowl vanishes and she claps her hands excitedly. "I knew you'd guys come around! Let's do it tomorrow when my fam is gone."

Hyejin glances over at Wheein. "This is a mistake."

"Yeah. I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we are all caught up with Wattpad.


	29. Chapter 29

Wheein and Byul show up around six o'clock, carrying travel bags on their shoulders. Yong opens the door clad in a giant t-shirt and boxer briefs decorated with the many faces of Spongebob Squarepants.

Byul glances down at her underwear in what she hopes is a casual fashion, "Another conquest?"

Yong snorts, "I bought this from the boys' section in Walmart. Hella comfortable by the way."

Hyejin trots down the stairs in the hallway wearing nothing but an oversized sweatshirt. "Imagine having a dick, amiright? It's like a little snitch attached to your pelvis."

"Strap-ons are forever superior." Yong agrees, moving away from the doorway.

Wheein exhales heavily before finally stepping pass the door's threshold and onto the bristly welcome mat of Yong's house that had a bright and grinning sun in its center.

"What's on the sleepover agenda?" Byul asks coming inside as well.

Hyejin grin is deadly. "Spin the bottle."

Wheein frowns uncomfortably, "I don't think that's really in my forte."   
  
"There's nothing gay about kissing a girl." Wheein blinks questioningly at Yong. "Finger penetration however-"

"We are already starting tonight on a high note," Byul interjects as Wheein moves further into the house. She tosses her backpack and sleeping bag into the hallway's corner.

Yong looks at the sleeping bag, perplexed. "What's that for?"

"Ah," she rubs the back of her neck, "I actually prefer my sleeping bag to a couch. It's really comfy actually."

Her mouth twists in a suggestive smirk. "Who said anything about a couch?" Byul's mouth suddenly becomes very dry as her voice drops into a low murmur, "You think I invited you over for you to just sleep on the couch?"

"I - uhm - didn't realize you had other intentions."

" _Liar_ ," Yong drawls. Her gaze becomes heated as she crooks a finger into Byul's belt loop. "But I'm done with intentions. Aren't you?"

Byul eyes closely follow the movement, "Depends on the intention."

"Holy fuck!" Hyejin's exclamation from the end of the hallway startles them both. "It hasn't even been five minutes yet!"

"Later then." Yong retracts her finger with a coy smile. "Ahn Hyejin, calm your fucking tits!"

Byul watches her walk away, thoughts conflicted. There's no question of want. Nowadays, a day doesn't pass by that she doesn't think of Yong at one time or another - in one way or another.

Images of them with wide grins, walking down the street holding hands with no strangers giving them weird looks. Or images of them being a normal couple at school with casual PDA that no one cares or whispers about. Images of Yong beneath her and moaning her name. Too many of those.

Not enough images her not being afraid of how other people would take her being gay or relinquishing those overbearing feelings of dread she gets every time she considers properly dating Yong. They'd be the talk of the town and Byul didn't want that for herself or Yong or anyone who'd get dragged down along with them. It makes her sick to her stomach. It makes her feel weak.

"C'mon Byul, we're picking a movie!" Wheein calls from the next room.

Frowning, Byul kicks off her shoes next to her stuff and enters the fairly large living room with everyone else. There were two loveseats catercorner to a flat screen television and a couple of armchairs deeper into the room in what looks almost like a reading nook.

"First up, we've got ourselves a rom-com or a horror flick." Yong holds up a cheesy box with a shirtless man on the cover and another box with a scary doll holding a knife. Byul looks quizzically at the first box. "I mean, hot men are nice to look at sometimes."

Hyejin hums, "Like thirty percent of the time."

"I'd say at least eighty-five percent of the time," Wheein says sprawled across one of the loveseats.

Hyejin immediately turns to her with an intrigued look. "And the other fifteen?"

"I am reasonable Hyejin. Women can be attractive. I just don't want to date them."

"I ... don't understand."

"No. You wouldn't."

"How about the scary knife-baby movie?" Byul suggests, exchanging a glance with Yong. "Who wants to help me make the popcorn?"

"Already made in the kitchen." Yong tosses the rom-com back into a cabinet. "We have pizza rolls, nachos, popcorn, and soda."

"Unfortunately, this sleepover does not include shots." Hyejin announces to no one in particular as she throws herself into the living room's armchair.

"How are you supposed to see the movie from there Hyejin?"

She gestures to Wheein lying across one the couches. "It's occupied-o."

"You could say: 'Wheein can you please scoot over a bit'?" Wheein mutters accusingly, pushing herself into a sitting position. "Is that hard?"

"Yes. You're intimidating."

Wheein cackles at that, and even Byul has to acknowledge her laugh sounds a bit evil. "I'm only intimidating when you  _fuck with me_."

"It's fine," Hyejin says as she sits next to her, "I'm lowkey a masochist anyway."

Byul slips into the hallway, not waiting to hear the end of the conversation that would stem from the death glare Wheein just gave her, and goes in what she thinks is the direction to the kitchen. Further down the hall she finds the right doorway with snacks in various bowls and on plates.

As she considers how she'll carry all this back to the living room, something hard presses into the small of her back and she stiffens.

"What the hell is that?"

"My dick." Yong's answer comes from behind her and as Byul turns around she sees a tv remote in her hand. "I'm turned on."

"From what?"

"Well," Yong steps closer and places her hands on either side of Byul's small frame, "you're spending the night in my house..."

"Oh?"

"...and I'm horny..."

"..."

"...so don't bitch out like you always do."

"That's just romantic." Byul attempts to smirk but with her back pressed against the counter and Yong's face mere inches from her, she can only manage a small choking sound in the bottom of her throat.

Yong suddenly backs away, grabbing two bowls. "You're going to have to kiss me first, just so you know."

"I'm - what?"

"I've done all the heavy-lifting until this point, at some point I need to play hard to get too."

"No you don't." Byul pauses. "And I'm not playing hard to get!"

Yong  _tch_ s, looking incredulous. "I can't make you comfortable in your own sexuality. So when you feel at ease enough  _you_ can kiss me. Sounds fair, doesn't it?"

Byul sighs, cheeks burning. She had been hoping that Yong would do all the work so she wouldn't have to make the hard decisions. Whatever will happen just needs to happen so she can stop replaying the worse case scenarios over in her head. The wait - the tension - is almost maddening.

"By the way," Yong continues shifting uncomfortably, "I was just kidding earlier. Not about the horny part, that's true, but about you bitching out. This can just be a platonic sleepover. I'm not trying to pressure you."

"I know that."

"I'm pretty good at self-pleasure."

"I'm sure you are."

"Which also correlates to my pleasure of others." She winks and Byul gives her an exasperated look. "Alright. I better make sure the other two haven't killed each other."

Yong leaves Byul alone in the kitchen staring into a bowl of popcorn like a crystal ball, as if maybe it'd give her a glimpse into a future where she doesn't fuck everything up and she has no fears and people are kind.

But, in reality, it's only a bowl of popped corn and she's only the awkward photographer who lives in a small town and who cares too much about what people think of her. Who is too scared to make a move and waits for the day Yong stops being patient and dates someone better than her. On her lowest days, that thought relieved her. On her best days, she was selfish and hoped Yong would wait forever.

Her gaze becomes transfixed in the bowl, thoughts beginning to spiral deeper into her doubts.

"C'mon Byul!" Wheein's voice calls from the hallway. "You alright in there?"

Byul draws in a shuddering breath before putting on a casual smile and grabbing the pizza rolls. "All good! Coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the story that never ends.


	30. Chapter 30

Yong begins to think her conversation with Byul in the kitchen somehow triggered the younger girl. She seems resigned as she comes into the darkened living room and sits on the far-end of the couch, away from her, stuffing an entire pizza roll into her face.

It's concerning to Yong - these varying moods of Byul. She still doesn't know how the girl's brain actually works and she's not used to having to learn. Her past relationships all have the very constant variable of sex within the first week, at most. That was the foundation. Actually getting to know the person was secondhand work and most times didn't happen at all. 

It was strange to her only wanting Byul in the first place. Initially, she convinced herself that the other students in this chicken shit town just weren't appealing to her, but there were so many douchebags that fit her normal standards. Then she rationed that this was a challenge now, but it didn't feel that way anymore either.  

There had been that urge earlier to bend her over the kitchen counter and mark Byul as hers. It was especially there in the pizzeria with that fucking orgy waitress. And now the distance between them on the couch feels like too much  - as if there's a gravitational pull in her gut towards her.

Did Byul really have to play hard to get? That was the thing she's good at. But damn, she's hot as fuck and obviously doesn't realize it. Or maybe she doesn't care. Either way, she happened to be very distracting, even in that fluffy oversized hoodie. Especially in that hoodie.

Yong sidles over to her on the couch, catching the suspicious side-eye Byul gives her. Resting her head on her shoulder she mutters, "Cuddle me." 

"I'm eating." She pointedly waggles her sauce-drenched fingers in front of her face.

Before Byul can retract them, Yong takes her index finger between her teeth, closing her lips. Byul's sharp gasp is audible in the quiet of the tense movie scene.

"It's not that scary Byul." Wheein snorts from the other couch. 

At that time, Yong's tongue begins to navigate the underbelly of her finger, returning Buyl's wide-eyed gaze with a suggestive one.

"Yong..." Her soft plea does nothing to cool the heat flowing through Yong's body. 

She finally releases her finger, sweeping her tongue across her lips as Byul watches her almost in a daze, chest rising and falling. 

Yong clears her throat suddenly a bit embarrassed. "Yeah, that was a little thirsty of me-"

Byul suddenly, as if by forceful whim, surges closer, bumping her sharp nose against her squish cheek. Bottom lip grazing Yong's top one for half a second before drawing back.

"Shit," her eyes white in the dim light, "did I just miss?" 

Yong's surprised gape turns in a ear-splitting grin. "No," she tangles her hands through Byul's hair, tugging her closer, "you were spot on." 

"Pretty sure I got your nose-" 

"Then try again." Byul's hand uncertain on her bare thigh, along the roaming eyes that kept flickering to her lips is driving her crazy. "Now." 

Byul leans in again, nose finding a safe crook between her nose and cheek and their lips meet fully this time. Timid lips meeting carefully-restrained ones. Yong's hand slides down to her neck, bringing her closer until Byul has to balance her hand on the couch to keep from tumbling onto her. 

Yong pulls away first, cheeks flushed but stretched with her smile. She can feel that tingling in her lips she hasn't felt for a long time. Byul's wears a near-identical crooked smile as she leans back onto the couch, some tension Yong never even noticed loosening.

"Should we..." her eyes flicker towards the stairs as she whispers, "...go to your room?"

Yong snorts, "Slow down, eager beaver. It isn't even seven yet." 

"But-"

"We have to entertain our friends?" Byul twists her head around at the two barely-visible forms behind her. "Yeah, they're still here."

Yong can almost swear she's blushing. "I remembered."

"Fuck!" 

Hyejin's yelp startles the others. Yong checks the television screen to find the sadistic doll viciously attacking a man in the unrealistic puppeteer way of a movie from the eighties. On closer inspection of the other two on the couch, she notices Wheein has her face buried into Hyejin's shoulder.

"Are you two actually scared?" Byul manages to ask between her fit of laughter.  

"If you two weren't being gross over there maybe you'd be scared too." Wheein retorts in a muffled voice. "You're disgusting by the way." 

"The best part was when Byulyi missed your mouth." Hyejin adds, cackling. "Or maybe that raunchy bit with the finger."

Byul buries her face into her hands, a low groan emitting from somewhere in her throat.  "Oh my god." 

Yong rubs her shoulder, suppressing the laughter bubbling up inside of her. It was hilarious in hindsight, but Byul didn't need to hear that now. They can laugh about that later. 

"We're legit watching the movie now." Yong says, nudging Byul's head out her hands. "Right, Byul-ah?" 

She leans her head back against the couch, inclining her slender neck. She regards Yong beneath hooded eyelids in a way that makes her regret the promise she just made. 

"Anything for you." Byul says, not taking her eyes off of her.

Her toes curl beneath her. "It's not working."

Byul's eyes widen in innocence, "What's not working?" Briefly, her lips twitch into a smirk, before she turns her attention the television. 

Yong momentarily pauses, caught off-guard once again. Byul had these seemingly random moments of disarming confidence that made her... feel certain ways. She's never really considered herself on to be attracted to that kind of thing but most characteristics about Byul are aspects that are unusual for her.  

There's something thrilling about it. Frustrating too. Maybe this is karma for all the times she's played hard-to-get. It's not appreciated.

She leans her head against Byul's shoulder. Somewhat awkwardly, Byul repositions her arm around Yong's shoulders, knocking her elbow into her forehead. Yong struggles to keep a straight face. 

"You're doing great sweetie."

"I don't appreciate your sarcasm."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess chapter thirty is the dirty chapter. lol, I'm so funny.


	31. Chapter 31

"Honestly, I don't think Spin the Bottle is a good idea." Wheein hovers uncertainly next to the others who are already seated on the rug in Yongsun's living room. "This is how friendships die."

"This is Spin the Bottle: 7 Minutes in Heaven edition." Yong explains.

"Which means?"

"Which means you can do whatever the hell you want in the room upstairs-including not kissing- and no one gets to know."

Wheein shifts on her bare feet before sitting down. "This is weird."

Byul glances around the circle from her spot between Wheein and Hyejin, the latter of which appearing more excited than anyone else. The whole affair makes her anxious despite there being no reason for it. Yong is her... special friend, Wheein's her best friend, and Hyejin has never shown a lick of interest in her.

Yongsun gestures to the empty wine bottle in the center of their circle. "We're only doing two rounds. So who's going first?"

There's a millisecond pause before Hyejin reaches for the bottle. "Well, I mean if no one wants to..."

Yong pursues her lips. "Okay Hyejin. Go ahead."

"Okay." Hyejin glances at Wheein who's too busy looking into her own lap to notice. "If there is a god, please do not give me Byulyi."

"Hey!" Byul crosses her arms. "What does that mean?"

"Hm..." she considers briefly, "you know how some women have big dick energy like Yong? You have big virgin energy."

Yong coughs into her fist, "She won't be a virgin for long."

Some ambiguous sort of gurgling noise comes out of Byul's throat. She taps her fingers on her leg as redness creeps up on her cheeks, "Just spin the bottle Hyejin."

"Please." Wheein's exhale muffled by her face in her hands. "Get it over with."

Hyejin spins the glass bottle, its body rotating agonizingly slow against the fibers of the rug. She crosses her fingers, whispering some sort of prayer as the bottle slows and slows and -

"Motherfucker!"

The nozzle stops just to the left of Yong, missing pointing to Wheein's side by mere inches. Hyejin runs a hand through her dark hair, mussing it in frustration.

Wheein falls onto her back, kicking her feet excitedly. A deep dimple forms from the wide grin that stretches over her face. "There  _is_  a God!"

"I've never seen you so excited Wheein." Hyejin says dryly, standing up. "C'mon Yong, let's go."

"Don't do anything weird with my gir-" Byul's voice gets weaker with each word until she just stops. Yong raises her eyebrows in expectation. "You guys have fun."

Hyejin crosses her arms. "See? Do you see the big virgin energy now?"

"I am disappointed but not surprised," Yong says, half-teasing. She grabs onto Hyejin's shirt and nearly pulls her down getting up. "Set a timer Hyejin."

They vanish from sight as they go up the stairs and Byul immediately turns to Wheein. "I am doing  _everything wrong_  Wheein!" She stands up and beings to pace in front of the television. Wheein tilts her chin up to look at her. "Hyejin is right."

"We don't need Hyejin to tell you that you're a virgin..."

"No, Wheein! It's the principle of it. I'm being a little bitch."

"You are ... being yourself. And obviously Yongsun likes you. So who cares?"

"I care!"

"Well don't."

Byul stops pacing and pouts at Wheein who in turn gives her the middle finger. There are times Byul really appreciates her friend's direct, no-nonsense advice but now really isn't that time.

"You know," she throws her hands up, "I'm probably going to lose my virginity to Kim Yongsun."

Wheein grimaces. "Geez, TMI."

"You don't understand Wheein!" She drops her voice to a hushed whisper. "She's probably had sex with like fifty people. And I'm just-"

"A virgin?"

"Yes!" Byul whisper-yells. "This is giving me anxiety."

Wheein crooks a finger at her, motioning Byul to stoop down to her level. "Look Byul, I'm not really an expert on lesbian sex but I'm pretty sure Yong is going to top you." Byul stares questioning at her. "You're probably just going to be lying there as she...goes...down-"

"Oh my god." Byul stands up again, backing away a few steps. "Let's not talk about this anymore."

Wheein nods. "Great. So, about my love life..."

"Right! Sam. How's that going?"

"We are going on a dinner date tomorrow." Wheein says, a smile stretching her face. "So I'm a little excited."

"What?! He called it a date and everything?"

"Yesss!" Wheein gives one of her awkward laughs as Byul gapes at her in amazement. "So wish me luck."

"Are you kidding me?" She reaches down to ruffle Wheein's hair. "You're going to kill it Wheenie."  

She ducks away from Byul's hand, patting down her hair. "Nope! We left that name in middle school remember?"

"Wheen'd we do that?"

Wheein gives her an everlasting sigh at the awful pun. "Anyway, if the date goes well, the three of us could hang out sometime."

"You have a date Wheein?"

Hyejin and Yong walk down the staircase looking none the worst for wear. Byul inwardly breathes a sigh of relief as she notes that it appears the two of them didn't engage in anything strange while they were alone. Not that she thought they would, but sometimes the two of them seem as if they'd been together at some point in time. But that'd be ridiculous.

Hyejin had asked Wheein the question with the feigned casualness of someone very bad at acting.

"Yes." Wheein responds stiffly. "Do you have an issue?"

"Nope." Hyejin says. She sits down cross-legged in front of her with a tight smile. "Just asking."

Yong looks between the two of them with the pressed lips and furrowed brow of a disappointed mom.

"Spin the bottle, Byul."

Byul opens her mouth to object but hesitates from the dangerous look Yong gives her. "Fine."

She grabs and spins the bottle hoping that it doesn't choose Yong. The moment has passed from earlier and she currently isn't feeling confident about having a solo interaction with her.

It slows and slows and...

Yong snorts. "Well Hyejin, it's your-"

"Fuck!"

"-lucky day."

The four of them stare at the bottle, the nozzle pointed squarely towards Hyejin whose face is slack with complete exasperation. "I give up."

"Oh c'mon Hyejin," Byul grins in relief, "you act like I'm the devil."

"You - uh - look happy Byul." Yong glances between her and Hyejin. "I'm suspicious."

"Maybe you should be Yong," Hyejin says. "I'm kind of hot."

"True." Byul agrees, only half-listening as she begins to drift towards the stairs. "We've got a lot to do Hyejin."

The bedroom door to Yong's room is ajar and Byul enters the vaguely familiar territory with another rush of nervousness about the idea of sleeping in here tonight. Even in a queen bed she'd be so near to her.

"Hyejin, I've got a question for you." Byul watches her plop down on the bed, dark hair splaying across the bed with the ease of someone comfortable up here.

"Shoot." She looks down her nose at Byul who stands stiffly at the foot of the bed. "We have... six minutes and twenty sec - wait nineteen sec - wait-"

"Be real with me Hyejin. Have you and Yong ever..." she waves around her hands uselessly, "...you know."

Hyejin props herself up on her elbows. "No. I don't know."

"I - uh - I've just have been having silly thoughts. You know how you get paranoia with a new girl - uh - person?"

"No."

"Okay well." Byul swallows a lump in her throat. "Look, I'm just wondering if you and Yong have always just been friends. Since - since this is a confidential seven minutes."

"No, Yong and I have not always been friends. She's only been here like a month and a half-"

"Have you and Yongsun had sex?"

Hyejin briefly looks panicked by the question, eyes widening. "That's a weird question."

Byul paces the small space in front of the bed, not at all liking the response she had to that question. She feels Hyejin's eyes on her and can practically see the calculations behind them.

"I'm not going to be mad. Just don't lie to me."

"Said all my ex-girlfriends ever." She raises her hands at Byul's glare. "Okay! So maybe we have. But! But. It was before she was emotionally invested in you. I swear."

"...before she was - then what was she before she was emotionally invested?"

"Uh. Sexually invested."

Byul stops pacing, not doing to do with the information she asked for now that she knows it. She'd expected her assumptions to have been false and chalk it off to her usual overactive mind but this time it wasn't.

Hyejin coughs. "Byul?"

"Okay!" Her voice goes up a few octaves. "Like I said, I'm fine."

"I knew this was an ex-girlfriend situation. I should've lied to you."

Byul chews her lower lip ignoring her. "I'm going to use the bathroom."

"But we still have three minutes and thirteen-"

"Bathroom." She repeats, numbly walking out of the bedroom and closing the door behind her.


	32. Chapter 32

Yongsun knows something's wrong from the moment Hyejin sheepishly walks down the staircase without Byul. The younger girl avoids her eyes as she walks back into the living room and hovers in the threshold.

"The fuck did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Hyejin."

Hyejin paces in the opening, tucking a dark lock of hair behind her ear. "You know what? I was honest."

"What. Did. You. Do?" Yong gets to her feet already ready to rush up the stairs.

"I told her we had sex."

"You did what?!" Yong and Wheein both exclaim at the same time, their meanings varying.

"What do you mean you two had sex?" Wheein asks sharply, narrowing her eyes in a way that threatened murder. "When?"

"A while ago!" Yong says defensively.

"You've been here literally a month and a half."

"That's a long ass time!" She crosses her arms. "I used to have sex  _at least_  twice a week for the last year. You think that level of horniness goes away?"

Wheein's eyes flicker in between her and Hyejin, lips tightening in reproach. "I should've known."

"Hey now," Hyejin says in warning, "what's that supposed to mean?"

Yong just holds up a hand at Hyejin. "Wheein, the moment I started to actually care for Byul I didn't have sex with anyone else. I think that's pretty fucking reasonable."

"You should've told her."

Yong scoffs, "Yeah, so this would happen? You don't just go over a list of all the people you fucked to your not-even girlfriend."

Hyejin massages the corners of her eyes. "Look Yong, I'm sorry."

"It's no one's fault." Yong doesn't look at Wheein as she steps past them, stomach shifting with anxiety. "I'm going to talk to her."

Yong hadn't expected Byul to find out about her and Hyejin so soon, or ever even. And the plan then was to tell her from her own lips to make it sound less awful. Was that the word? Awful?

She cared about Hyejin a lot but the sex was just that: sex. There were no plans of dating or any convoluted feelings involved, just two friends helping each other out. Gals being pals. Yong's afraid that Byul won't see it that way. Maybe start to see her differently.

"Byul?"

Yong slowly peeks into her room, its door slightly ajar, but find no sign of her. She goes further inside, checking underneath the bed and in the closet space.

Back in the hall, she discovers the light seeping from beneath the bathroom door. Pressing her ear against the door she hears nothing from inside and can't determine whether that's a good thing or not.

Yong taps her knuckles softly against the wood. "Can I come in?"

A long stretch of silence ensues and Yong begins to wonder if she's even in there before Byul's muted voice answers, "Sure."

She twists the doorknob to open the door and sees Byul standing in front of the full-length mirror with a stare that went off into another dimension, as if the mirror itself were a portal she could escape into.

"I'm sorry Byul." Yong walks just so she's inside the bathroom and shuts the door back.

"Why?"

"I know what Hyejin told you."

"You know I don't blame you right?"

Yong catches Byul's gaze in her bathroom mirror, her dark eyes looking so tired - that kind of tired that stays with you for years. Yong doesn't think that she caused it, but her chest still pangs at the look.

"I didn't know what to think."

She cautiously steps further into the bathroom, wanting to touch her, not sure if it was the right thing to do. She winds up standing next to her, their shoulders barely brushing. Seconds stretch into minutes.

"My mind's really fucked up Yong." Yong glances hesitantly at Byul through the mirror. "You don't have to say anything."

"What's on your mind?"

"...I don't think I'm ready to have sex with you. Not right now."

"And I told you that I will wait however long until you are ready."

"And I hear you say that, but then I just think about it and -" Byul shifts a little, finally moving from her trance-like state. "You're very attractive and confident Yongsun."

"That's true."

A flicker of amusement sparks in her eyes for a brief second then fades. "And I'm just -"

"You are Moon fucking Byulyi." Yong says sharply. She nudges Byul's shoulder with her own. "Don't compare yourself to anyone. No one can be compared to you."

Byul's looks at her for a long moment. "You're so cringe."

Yong decides to take that as a challenge, raising her voice into its  _aegyo_  form. "I only have eyes for you  _Byul-ah_! It's just you and me  _Byul-ah_! You're so cute  _Byu-_ "

Byul clasps her hand over Yong's mouth. "No more."

Yong licks the palm of Byul's hand, sending a visible shudder through her body before she removes her hand.

"Really Yong?" She chokes out. Yong gives her a smirk.

"Are we okay to go now? I'd like to talk more, but after our guests are asleep."

"I was okay before you licked my hand." She whines, but Yong notices she makes no move to wipe off her saliva.

"It was your 'Feel-Better-Soon' card. I made due with what I could."

"Your tongue?" Yong nods. "I'll remember that then."

Her insides clench ever so slightly. "Don't toy with me. I'm ovulating right now."

Byul cracks, throwing her head back in laughter. "I hate you."

"No you don't."

"No, I don't." She throws an arm around Yong's shoulders. "I like you. A lot."

"Good. I do too."

"Who? Me or you?"

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about writing another full-length fanfic soonish, so if you guys have any suggestions feel free to let me know.


	33. Chapter 33

"Time for Truth or Dare!"

"Right. Because Spin the Bottle went so well."

Yong glares daggers into Wheein. "Please. Give me a better idea."

The four of them sit around in a loose circle, once again on the carpet in Yong's living room. Byul's doing her best to appear like normal, but she just feels like curling into a ball and sleeping everything off. She could better mull over her thoughts in the morning with a cup of coffee than at night with party games. And Truth or Dare sounds like an incredibly dangerous game at the moment.

Wheein sighs, glancing at Byul. "How're you feeling Byul?"

"Sounds fun." She replies, her voice lilting into a high pitch that sounds false. "I mean," she lowers her voice, "sounds fun."

Byul can feel Yong's gaze on her face even as she claps her hands. "Great! And since Wheein has yet to be involved, she can go first."

Wheein crosses her arms, lips tightening briefly. "Okay. Yongsun, truth or dare?"

Byul can see Hyejin deflate slightly from the corner of her eye. She wonders if the girl is still harboring some hope that'd Wheein will change her mind about her, drop the future-husband of her dreams, and turn homosexual.

It's beyond unlikely, bordering impossible. Plus the way their personalities seem to conflict like oil on water did nothing for Byul's wish that they'd all be friends.

"Truth." Yong finally says cautiously.

Byul feels a twinge of fear for her. Wheein's really bad at dares but can be extremely vicious at questions of truth.

Wheein's thinks for a moment. "Okay. What circumstance caused you to realize your sexuality?"

"Sixth grade." An amused smile graces her lips. "In the girl's locker room."

"The girl's locker room," Hyejin says fondly. "A gift and a curse."

"Jasmine Walters had hit puberty earlier and harder than most and let me just say damn." Yong coughs awkwardly. "From the mouth of eleven-year-old me. I'm not a pedophile."

Wheein does not appear amused. "Fascinating."

"My turn then." Yong's gaze sweeps over the circle. "Hyejin. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." She answers immediately with an excited grin. Byul can tell she's the type to do anything she's asked. 

"Hm." Yong taps an exaggerated finger against her bottom lip, catching Byul's focus. "I dare you to speak only in sexual innuendo until your next turn."

"So you mean for her to act normal?" Wheein says.

"Don't worry Wheein. It'll be  _hard_." Hyejin smirks, leaning back onto her elbows. "Truth or dare Byulyi?"

"Dare." She'd had enough emotional exhaustion for the night.

Hyejin ignores the hard look of warning Yong gives her as her smirk turns devilish. "I can feel your gaze penetrating me, Yong. Relax. I know our poor baby's having  a rough day."

"The dare, Hyejin." Byul insists.

"I dare you to look pleasant and not be so miserable please. Because, yes, I did fuck your girlfriend but now I can honestly tell you that she is great in bed and reaches her peak easily."

"Hyejin!" Yong's eyes narrow. 

"So, even with your nonexistent experience, you can be assured she will cu- ahh!" 

A stray flip-flop slams into her forehead at supersonic speed and she falls onto her back. She lies there, face a mask of shock as Yong crawls over to her with murder in her eyes. 

"You say another word and I will destroy you Hyejin!"  

"Argh!" Hyejin holds a hand to her face a second too late. "Oooo noo! I'm bleeding!"

"You are not bleeding you bitch."

Wheein and Byul exchange a long look. Wheein's lips twitch as if she's holding back a laugh and Byul feels her own laughter bubbling up. She could never see Hyejin as a threat to her relationship with Yongsun even if she wanted to.

"I was being nice!" Hyejin screeches as Yong straddles her slapping at the arms protecting her face.  

"Actually I am assured Hyejin." Byul says with a smile. "That was nice of you."

Yong turns her glare towards her. "Was it now?" 

"Sure. Now I understand that conversation earlier when you said you were good at self-pleasure."

"Fuck's sake."

Hyejin cackles from beneath Yong and Wheein lets out a hoot of laughter, tossing her head back. Yongsun looks absolutely betrayed as she tumbles off of Hyejin who shakes in her hysterics. Byul suddenly feels guilty. 

"Sorry Yong." She barely whispers, brushing a finger down her arm, lingering for a second. "It was too easy."

Yong huffs in disbelief, but she can see the ghost of a smile. "It's your turn." 

Wheein wipes a tear from eye as her laughter fades. "That's amazing. You should be grateful to your body for such a gift Yongsun." 

"Uh huh." 

"Truth or dare Yong?"

She looks surprised, dark brows leaping up her face briefly. "I'm in an honest mood tonight. Truth."

Byul had expected her to say dare. "Oh-kay. Have you ever... been..." The room's three occupants all have their expectant gazes on her and she suddenly feels extremely embarrassed. "I mean-"

"You have words Byulyi." Hyejin says. "Use them."

"It's a stupid question. Let me think of another one." 

"C'mon Byul," Yong urges, poking her shoulder, "nothing you have to ask is stupid."

She draws in a heavy breath and says in a rush of words, "Have you ever felt uncomfortable with your sexuality?" Yong frowns. "I guess, you just always seem so confident about it."

Yong gives her a sad smile. "My parents don't know I'm gay and I am afraid to tell them." She lets out a bitter laugh. "I guess that's an uncomfortable situation." 

The circle grows silent. Wheein averts her eyes into her lap and Hyejin looks on helplessly. Byul feels as useless as ever, not knowing how to respond to something like that. She hadn't expected vulnerability like that from Yongsun.

"Will you?" Byul clears her throat. "Tell them?" 

Yong doesn't look at her. "You know Byul, I kind of just thought I'd get lucky, end up marrying a man, and avoid the whole issue."    

"Someone very dear to me said that you shouldn't hide who you are-"

"Then I guess I'm a fucking hypocrite." She interrupts sharply. "Happy?"

"You know that's not what I meant." Byul says quietly.

Yong's jaw clenches like she wants to say something else then she looks around at Hyejin and Wheein's concerned faces, watching the interaction in stunned silence. Her face flushes in embarrassment.

"Sorry," she mutters, "I'm not angry at you Byul."

"I know. It's okay." She replies, even as a small piece of her still stings. 

"I'm thinking no more party games." Hyejin says.

Wheein nods her agreement. "I'm suddenly feeling really tired."

"So tired. You two have fun upstairs."

Yong gapes at Hyejin, "Are you actually excusing me from my own living room?"

"More of a suggestion you've made awkward." 

"Don't worry, it was awkward before." Wheein gets up onto her feet, quickly beginning to walk away. "I'm going to go and not be here right now." 

Hyejin watches Wheein for a second before following her lead. "Yeah, I think I'm going to do that thing too."

Byul stays seated with Yong on the floor, not wanting to talk to her but not wanting to leave her either. The fact that Yong has insecurities isn't the weird part - everyone does - but how angry she got over it was very strange. It'd been awhile since Yong had gotten frustrated with her and it never felt good.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you." Yong says again after they've sat there for awhile.

"It's fine." 

"Really?" She leans close enough that Byul can smell the pizza sauce on her breath. Something about the fact that scent stems from the sauce Yong licked off her finger is becoming extremely distracting to Byul. "From this angle you look upset." 

"I'm upset because you're upset." Byul chokes out.

She leans back onto her hands. "You're upset because I snapped at you."

"That too."

"I don't talk about my parents very often." 

"Do you want to?" 

"No." She says too quickly. Byul tries to ignore that sting. "Not tonight."

"So I'll just bitch about my problems and you won't talk to me about yours?" Byul fails at keeping her bitterness out of her voice and Yong frowns, noticing. "That seems fair."

Yong's lips stretch into a thin line, a flash of annoyance sparking in her eyes. "We are not arguing about this."

Byul stands up abruptly. "You're right. We don't talk about things Yongsun doesn't want to talk about."

"You're being absolutely ridiculous."

Maybe. Byul can't bring herself to care as she leaves the room knowing that Yong had arranged for them to sleep in the same room. She grabs her sleeping bag from the hall anyway. 

"Drop the sleeping bag." Yong stands, arms crossed in the living room doorway. "We aren't finished talking."

She grudging turns, dropping the bag and some of her anger along with it. No matter how often she pushes Yong away... 

"You're so damn stubborn." 

"Thank you, I know."


	34. Chapter 34

Byul sits crisscrossed on the edge of Yong's bed looking like an agitated hamster with her gaze flickering around the room. Yong leans against of the headboard of her bed with her arms crossed and eyes glued to Byul.

The night is not going as she planned, but this is all part of the effort it takes to have a real relationship. She reminds herself of that repeatedly despite her frustration that Byul is being extremely unreasonable right now.

Yong taps her fingers against her arm as the silence stretches on. "You're being extremely unreasonable."

Byul still doesn't look at her. "Maybe."

"You want me to tell you about my parents that bad?"

"Not if you don't want to talk about it."

"Then why're you angry?" Her stare drills into the side of Byul's face. She wishes could read minds. It'd make this a lot easier.

Byul maneuvers herself so she faces Yong some six feet away. "We really don't know much about each other do we?"

Yong frowns. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's my favorite color?"

She gives Byul a level look. "Are you kidding me? Because that's some bullshit."

"Are you calling my favorite color bullshit?" Byul says in exaggerated shock, eyebrows shooting up her face.

"Literally every word coming out of your mouth right now is bullshit." Byul scowls. "But here I am. Listening to it anyway." 

"I really like the color yellow."

Yong runs a hand through her hair and exhales deeply. "I know you're conflicted and all Byul, but this push and pull thing you're doing doesn't just effect you. It actually feels like you're pushing me away on purpose."

Byul worries her lip between her teeth. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

"Uh huh. So that isn't a 'no'?" 

Byul still isn't looking her in the eye and it's taking all of Yong's patience not to pry so she'll just tell her what hell is wrong. She was bizarrely fine with the whole Hyejin issue but Yong snaps at her once and suddenly there's a problem.  

Once the silence goes on for about a minute, Yong kicks her legs off the bed and gets up. Byul opens her mouth and then closes it. 

"I'm going to shower now." Yong snatches a towel off of her closet door. "Maybe you'll start making sense when I get back." 

"I feel like a dead weight." Byul mutters into her lap. Yong pauses in the doorway. "You say all these nice things to help with my ... insecurities and it does for a while."

"Okay." Yong comes back over. "Why do you feel like a dead weight then?"  

"Do you think you could tell me something you're uncomfortable with? Not necessarily your parents either. Just something." 

Yong perches on the edge of the bed in front of Byul. "Looking for blackmail are you?" 

"I'd prefer you not carry all of my problems and I know nothing about you in return." Her gaze burns intensely into Yong's.  

Yong hadn't really thought of it as a give and take sort of thing, but just something you do when you care about a person. She'll chalk it up to Byul's first relationship anxiety since it seems to be bothering her so much. 

"Alright." Yong purses her lips as she thinks, feeling satisfaction in the way her movements always seem to catch Byul's focus. "I'm stubborn because I have a fear of failure." 

"Am I giving you a job interview or something?" 

"No?"

"That actually sounds like what you'd say when answering a question about your weaknesses." Byul raises her voice to mock her, "'Well oh boy, I guess my weakness is that I'm just too damn determined'." 

"Okay smartass. I'm a little stuck. No one has ever wanted to know me like this." 

"Happy to be the first." Byul half-smiles.

Yong squints at her. "Is this a happy occasion? Is it really?" 

"Quit stalling." 

"Wha- I'm not-" She crosses her arms, then plays with the towel in her lap. "Honestly Byul, I just live in the present.  I don't give myself time to worry about shit so I guess when something comes up - say that parent thing downstairs - I snap and I ignore it." Byul looks unconvinced. "I'm pretty sure that's why most of my relationships go downhill." 

"You're saying you worry too little?" 

"Sure. I mean, maybe. People gave me a hard time for being gay - they always have, probably always will. So my coping method was retreating inside of myself and not caring about their opinions." Yong leans back on her elbows. "Unfortunately I really care about my parents' opinions of me."

They were the only people Yong worried about like this. Family ties are stronger than any other relationship, and to think that being honest with them could possibly fuck that up weighs on her strongly. There's no way she'd tell them while still living under the same roof.

Byul looks at her for a long time, lips pursed in deep thought. Yong watches back in uncertainty. This is either the weirdest relationship she's ever been in or the most normal. Her dating experience has been lengthy and strange - like foot fetish and feather duster strange - but this scrutiny might be the worst of it all

"Okay." Byul says finally and she lets out a breath. "You still going to take a shower?" 

"Nope." She tosses the towel weakly at the closet door and it hits the floor in a heap. "The shower was just an escape mechanism for that uncomfortable situation. I am ready to sleep."

"Well, I've gotta change." She rolls off the edge of the bed to grab her backpack. Bending over bag, she shucks off her shirt.   

Yong's eyes widen at her skinny and half-naked body. "Oh boy. Does this show include a lap-dance?"

"We're both women," Byul insists, even as her face burns a dark red. "It's not weird." 

"Two women physically attractive to one another, sure." Yong mutters, but she's so tired she can't even come up with anything inappropriate to say. "You should've done this before you grilled me to exhaustion. I probably would have actually jumped your bones. That's all you are by the way. Bones." 

"All calculated." She strips off her sweatpants.

"Oh my g-" Yong turns over, burying her face into her comforter.    

Byul guffaws. "What's this? You must've been lying to me earlier." Yong turns her head to the side. "The biggest shock of them all! Your one weakness is nudity."

"Please. I'm only protecting your virginity." She says matter-of-factly. "It isn't our wedding night yet."

"What?" Byul's footsteps shuffle towards the bed.

She shoos her away, "Back Satan." 

"You're delirious." Yong just presses her face back into the covers, feeling the bed compressing beside her. "Are you going to get under the sheets?" 

"No." Though with her voice muffled by the comforter it sounds closer to "nmph".

"Fine." A hand softly slips into her hair and begins messaging her scalp. "I'll just sit here then." 

Suddenly, Yong becomes very awake. She rolls to the side so she can look up at Byul whose eyes are beginning to droop with sleepiness.

"You think you can do this while spooning me?" 

Byul's hand stills in her hair. "Uh, sure. You betcha." 

"Ew. Get that Minnesotan shit out of here."

"Why do you judge me like this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When this story was going to be the entire school year, but you're thirty-four chapters in and its still October...


	35. Chapter 35

The Halloween dance is Friday night at Veronica Alling's house, who is also known as the girl currently dating Tyler. In any other circumstance Byul would never think twice about going. Yet with both Seulgi and Yong pestering her, her will is being broken down piece by piece.

"His house is so big you won't even see him, I swear." Seulgi whispers to her in literature class. " _Please_."

Byul absentmindedly flips through the pages of  _Othello_  to avoid her friend's pleading eyes. "I don't know."

"Hey, that new girl, Yongsun, is going." Byul freezes, sliding a suspicious gaze over to Seulgi's face. "She's really nice and I think you two would get along."

Byul's thoughts immediately flash to a couple nights ago and the feeling of Yong's body pressed against hers. One hand combing through the silky strands of her hair, the other making circles on her smooth skin beneath her t-shirt. The way she smelled like lavender and honey.

"Uhhh..." she desperately grasps for words, "yep. She's nice. She -uh- works on the newspaper with me."

"Oh! See?" Seulgi's grins. "I knew she seemed like your type."

Byul coughs, choking on her spit. "My- my type?"

"You know. The nice, nerdy types you hang out with. Like Wheein."

She shakily exhales and buries her face in Shakespeare's play. "Right. I'll think about the party."

Seulgi grins. "That is all I ask of you, Byulyi."

Byul can already imagine herself trapped in a house party with all the cheerleaders clad in their sexy Halloween costumes while flirting with the football players who think the holiday's an excuse to display their abs and biceps. Also, there are few things worse in life than high schoolers drunk at a party.

Her and Seulgi part ways after literature and Byul heads over to be the TA for Journalism class. She steps into the classroom, eyes already checking the room to see if Yong has arrived yet but already knowing she probably hasn't. Yong has a tendency to be just on time if not a few minutes late. Byul marks her on time either way.

She waves to Ms. Evans and then kicks the back leg of Wheein's chair on her way to the front of the classroom. The girl shoots her a icy glare before realizing it's Byul and then just frowns in annoyance before flipping the page of  _Paradise Lost_.

_She picks the most difficult "fun" reads_ , Byul thinks. She hesitates, spinning around as an afterthought hits her. She leans down onto Wheein's table and she glances up questioningly.

"How was your dinner date yesterday?" She asks in conspiratorial tone. Wheein breaks out in a huge grin and shuts her book.

"Everything I could have ask for and more."

"Oh thank god. You didn't text me last night, so I didn't know-"

"Sam is such a gentleman," she gushes. "It wasn't even that awkward and he complimented my dress at the door - and guess what!"

Byul stares at her friend practically talking over herself in her excitement. "What?"

"He serenaded me." Byul's eyebrows shoot up. "He can sing! And play the guitar!" Wheein lowers her voice, "I've never understood people's infatuation with fingers, but Sam strumming his guitar..." she gives Byul a knowing look, "...it does things to a woman."

"Um." Byul doesn't know how to react to this new gushing form of Wheein. "That's really good. I think. Please use protection."

She snorts. "Okay mom. We aren't there yet."

Byul raises her hands. "Hey. You never know."

"Speaking of," Wheein leans her cheek on her hand, "how about you and Yongsun Saturday night? You two seemed content in the morning."

"I don't like how you used 'content' there. It sounds gross." She slides into the chair beside Wheein. "And nothing happened. We just sorted out some of our problems."

Wheein leans back in her seat with a smirk spreading across her lips. "I can't tell what's more confusing: your relationship or Yongsun."

"How do you mean?"

"The fact that you're dating a very hot playgirl or that this very hot playgirl hasn't taken your virginity yet."

Byul throws her head back with a groan. "Wheein..."

"I'm really curious. How are you, Moon Byulyi, keeping this woman coming back when she isn't even coming at all?"

"There are times, Wheein, when you are just as bad as Hyejin."

Wheein gasps quietly and slaps Byul's forearm. "Take that back."

Another student shuffles into the classroom and takes a seat at their table. Byul looks between Wheein and the student who begins taking his books out of his bag. He glances up at the sudden silence and catches her eye.

"Hi, Byulyi." He mumbles. "Did you want my article?"

"No, no. Keep it for now." She scoots her chair back, "I've got to talk to Ms. Evans before class starts. Talk to you later Wheein."

Ms. Evans' desk, situated in the back corner of the class room, can only be described as organized chaos. Her laptop and coffee mug stand alone in a sea of essays and articles with varying levels of red ink marking the pages. Currently, her eyes are narrowed and her fingers are a blur against her keyboard.

Byul uncertainly stands in front of her desk. "Mrs. Evans?"

"One second Byulyi." Another half minute of intense typing ensues and Byul shuffles her feet, crosses and uncrosses her arms. Finally Ms. Evans twists her laptop around to face her with a bright grin, "What do you think of this?"

Byul leans over to scan the screen. She pushes her glasses to the bridge of her nose as she looks up at her teacher incredulously. "Is this a dating profile?"

The glare off the screen reflects off Ms. Evans eyes in a way that is admittedly a bit unnerving. "Look Byulyi, I know this is inappropriate to talk to a student about, but it's either you, my mother, or my ex-husband."

The room suddenly feels a bit warm. Byul tugs her collar away from her neck before reading the screen again.  _Isabelle Evans, 33, likes cooking and cats._

"Maybe don't put 'cooking and cats' so close together. It's easy to skip over the word 'and' there."

The profile picture honestly is enough to catch the eye of anyone with good taste. She has her held tilt back like she's beginning to laugh - not that awkward stage of laughter where a person looks like a troll, but the good part.

"Otherwise, it looks great." Byul straightens up and smiles. "You are a catch, Ms. Evans."

"Thank you, Byulyi." She turns the laptop back to herself, typing again. "If only you were ten years older and a man."

A month ago, Byul probably would've enjoyed that comment a little too much. That would've been before she knew that there were much better options for her than a silly crush on a teacher sixteen years her senior. Now though, the comment felt well-meaning if not very strange.

"Anyway Ms. Evans, did you get a chance to review my portfolio draft?"

"Sure. It feels very genuine." She smiles. "I hadn't realized you and Ms. Kim were so close."

"Oh." Byul cheeks flush a dark red. "Well you know, she's new and I thought she'd be a fresh subject. That's all."

In that moment, Yong steps into the classroom with her backpack slung casually over one shoulder. Byul hasn't seen her since Sunday morning which somehow feels like ages ago. She takes her in, from the crop top that hung just above her bellybutton to the way her jeans hugged her thighs. Byul's half-convinced she dresses like that to drive her insane.

She catches Yong's eye as she slips into her seat next to Wheein. Yong lifts an eyebrow as she mouths,  _you're staring_.

With some difficulty, Byul tears her eyes away and finds Ms. Evans looking at her in amusement. "Ms. Evans-"

Her teacher just raises her hands. "None of my business, Miss Moon." Her lips twitch. "We can start class now."   
  
  
  
  
Yong leaves the classroom after Wheein without a passing glance at Byul who does her best to focus on packing up her backpack. She happens to be much better than herself at the whole 'pretending we don't hang out or date' charade they agreed to put on at school for now. 

Even so, they're supposed to meet outside at the beginning of their lunch break before Yong and Hyejin watch their television shows. Byul needs to take her lunchtime to work on her photography and touch-up her final portfolio anyway.

Byul clicks open her locker and trades her backpack out for her camera which she drapes over her neck. 

"Hey." Eric sidles up next to her on the side where the locker door isn't blocking his face. 

"Hey." Byul mumbles, not being able to figure out what Eric would want. He hadn't seemed in the talking mood when they last hung out.

"We haven't talked in awhile since the new girl's kinda taken over the media club." 

She busies herself with straightening up nonexistent clutter in her locker. "Uh huh."   

"So, I've thinking about it Byul," Eric leans his shoulder against the locker door so he can look into her face, "and it's okay that you're a lesbian."

"Whoa! Hey!" Byul slams her locker shut in her shock. "I'm not-" she lowers her voice, glancing around the hallway. "I'm not gay."  _And I sure as hell don't need your acceptance_.

"I still remember the art exhibit." His face portrays the kind of false sympathy that makes her want to grind her teeth. "I figured there was a reason you never wanted to date me."

"Eric, no offense, but most women don't want to date you and we all can't be gay." Byul frowns, glancing at her phone. "Look, I'm meeting someone for lunch."

Shaking her head, she starts towards the front exit. Eric pushes off the lockers and jogs to catch up to her.

"So, uh, you're not involved with the new girl are you?"

"It's been almost two months, Yongsun's not that new anymore." Byul looks over at him. "And you know that you and me are just friends right?"

The scary part about all this is that Byul probably would've dated Eric as some alternate, straight version of herself. They had a lot in common - like the media club and video games - and he's attractive enough at face value with his dark features and sharp jawline. Maybe a little skinny.

She remembers in ninth grade when he chose the media club over the basketball team and permanently sealed himself off from popularity. He did it for her. He very specifically told her that.

"Sure. I get we're friends and I like it like that." He stresses and Byul does not believe a single contradictory word that comes from his mouth. "I'm just trying to help you. Yongsun seems like a loose woman." Her jaw clenches. "She flirts with everyone."

Byul stops in front of the double doors leading outside and faces him. "When did you start paying so much attention to her, Eric? And why exactly?"

He barks out a laugh. "Well a guy can dream, huh?"

Byul drills holes into Eric's face with her glare, disgust and anger wrestling for control inside of her. She wants nothing more than to smack that stupid smirk off his face and yell 'she is my girlfriend' for him and the entire world to hear.

She settles for giving him a tight smile and a pat on the shoulder. "Keep dreaming, Eric." 


	36. Chapter 36

Yong can see the tension in Byul's posture from the moment she steps outside of the school building. Then the large scowl she finds etched into her face tells the rest as she comes closer to the bleachers. 

Yong looks around the field for other people, but finds it empty like it's been most days recently. The field is pretty far from the main building and the temperature is beginning to get uncomfortably chill, so most people take their lunches in the cafeteria or in their cars on the other side of campus.

Byul becomes sidetracked on her way over, removing her glasses to snap a photo of what looks like a broken pencil from this distance. She stands there and squints at the photo for a solid minute as Yong watches her with dull interest. Byul's groan is audible even from a ways off and she kicks the splinters across the yard.  

Yong raises her eyebrows at her as she comes into earshot. "You wanna talk about what's bugging you instead of taking it out on that poor pencil?"

Byul crosses her arms, lips spread into a thin line across her face. "Eric Nam's a bitch." 

Yong turns her head to hide her smile at that. "Yep. I agree."

"I didn't even tell you why." 

"Oh? There's a specific reason?"

Byul huffs and fiddles with the lens of her camera. A crisp winter blows against her bare stomach and she crosses her arms over her chest, immediately regretting not taking out her jacket from her locker. Yong eyes Byul's large, over-sized cardigan wanting nothing more than to snuggle into it but knowing that probably isn't the best idea.

"I'll tell you about it later." Byul says, nodding at someone behind her shoulder. "Hyejin's coming over so I think I'll be going." 

Yong turns around and waves at the approaching dark-haired figure with a laptop cradled beneath her arm. And then wonders why Hyejin is approaching from behind the back of the school. A moment later she feels something soft and warm nestle over her. 

"You look really nice today," Byul mutters in her ear as she adjusts her sweater on Yong's shoulders, "but please don't catch a cold for my sake." She can feel her warm breath caressing her ear.

Yong scoffs holding back a smile as she twists to look at her and finds their faces dangerously close together. "Your sake?"

Byul takes a few steps back with a lopsided grin. "I want my cardigan back later."

"I dunno." She slips her arms into the sleeves and hugs the gray sweater closer to her body. "I might have to steal this from you."

"What're we stealing?" Hyejin walks up intrigued. "Her soul? Her virginity?"

Yong beams at Byul, "Her cardigan." 

"Ugh. Couple shit." She plops on the ground and opens up her laptop. "Skedaddle Byulyi. We have an Alex Vause to get back to."

"Hi to you too, Hyejin." Byul says sarcastically. 

Hyejin tilts her head up towards her. "Hiii, Byulyi," she drones. Byul quickly snaps a photo of her and she grimaces, swatting her away. "The fuck?"

"I was just capturing a new emotion for my portfolio. I call it: Annoyance with a Hint of Disgust." 

"I swear if I see my face anywhere but the school yearbook-"

Yong shushes her. "Hyejin, let Byul's creativity thrive. Inspiration is like winning the lottery... because it's rare and...stuff." Byul nods in supportive appreciation while Hyejin just squints at her with 'Annoyance: Now with Twice the Disgust'. "Okay bye Byul."

She waves as she sets off in the direction that Hyejin came from. Yong takes a seat on the ground and leans her head against the metal bleacher. 

"So, why were you behind the school Hyejin?" She asks casually, glancing at her from the corner of her eye. 

Hyejin shrugs. "Where'd we leave off in the show?"

"I think Piper was being a little shit."

"You're gonna have to be a bit more specific."

"You're avoiding the question." 

"What was the question?"

Yong gives her an incredulous look. "Why'd you come from behind the school?"

Hyejin's gaze stays glued to the screen. "Did I?" 

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She clutches her chest melodramatically. "It'll only hurt a little."

"I was talking to Loco."

Yong lifts her head up from the bleacher, nearly banging it into the one above. Hyejin continues to stare at her laptop screen almost guiltily. 

"The weird guy who has a crush on you?"

"I was talking to Wheein on Saturday." 

Yong warily looks at her. That can't be good. "Okay."

"And she isn't bad when you get to know her,  just very protective of her friends." Hyejin sighs. "But the girl is straighter than a ruler and there are some mountains I can't even climb."

"I think that's the weirdest sentence you've ever said to me while sober."

"It's time to pursue my other options."

"Cue Loco the Rebound?"

She grinds the heel of her combat boot into the dirt. "Now that just sounds mean."

Yong chews her lip. This is probably the softest Hyejin's been with her and it's not really like her to feel bad about ... well, anything in general. Wheein was just a simple crush that stemmed from proximity and infatuation, but it still sucks to be rejected. 

"Hoes ain't shit." She says finally.

Hyejin shakes her head sadly. "Hoes ain't shit." She frowns. "Who's the ho?'

"I dunno. It just felt right to say."

Hyejin still doesn't press play on her computer, so Yong sits beside her quietly with her chin nestled between her knees. There has to be something else on her friend's mind. 

"The prick didn't even kiss me."

Yong blinks. "Pardon?"

"I asked Loco if he still liked me. He said 'yes'. I said 'okay, kiss me'. And guess what he said?" 

"What?"

"'Let me take you on a date first'." Hyejin exclaims in disbelief. "Who the fuck says that?!" 

Yong furrows her brow. "Uh... I mean I'm new to this town, but I thought that was kind of the gold standard."

"I wanted a rebound, Yongsun! Not a fucking date to the Halloween party!" She runs a hand through her hair in agitation.  

"Wait." Yong grins. "You're going on the date?"

"In a moment of weakness I agreed." She starts to get up, "I'm gonna cancel."

"No no no." Yong grabs her arm with a vise-like grip. "This is good. This is healthy."

"You're only saying this because you're in a relationship." Hyejin yanks her arm away but doesn't make to leave. "A month ago you were all like: 'fuck 'em all, Hyejin' and 'no one is safe Hyejin'."

"You're right." Yong holds up her hands in surrender. "You still have a couple years of high school left and I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm just saying that this guy seems like he has potential and to give him a chance. He might be good for you."

Hyejin stares at Yong for awhile with an unreadable expression. "I appreciate your advice, but never give it to me again."

"What the hell?" She feels a twinge of hurt. "Why?"

"You are sounding way too much like my mom right now." Her face scrunches into a grimace. "And I had sex with you."

Yong shakes her head. "Wow. You motherfucker." 

"Maybe in some universe that would've been funny." Hyejin says, deadpanned. 

"Too soon?"

"You actually said that joke the first chance you got."

"You made it so easy." Yong shrugs.

Hyejin groans, but her mouth quirks slightly. "You're a dipshit Yong. But I appreciate you."

She nudges her. "You're going soft on me, Hyejin"

"Shut the hell up and let's watch this shit." 

Yong smiles and leans her head on Hyejin's shoulder as she finally presses play. "That's more like it."


	37. Chapter 37

" _Expecto Patronum_!"

Byul glances into the rearview mirror at Wheein in the backseat who, dressed in her Gryffindor robes, waves her wand majestically and speaks in an awful British accent. In the seat beside her, Sam Kim holds his own wand with Byul's glasses perched on his nose and a lightening bolt drawn by Wheein on his forehead.

" _Expelliarmus_!" he shouts with a flick of his wrist. Then, as an afterthought, he adds, "Mate!"

The couple had been shouting nonsensical spells for the entire duration of the ride and what was once slightly amusing quickly had become extremely tiresome.

They were running late. Sam apparently was so invested in his guitar practice that he forgot about the Halloween party and was confused when she and Wheein pulled up to his house. They'd wasted half an hour with him getting dressed and begging for Byul's circular glasses while she complained that she sort of needed them to  _see_. In the end, the costume was more important than their safety and Byul had accepted the fact that she might kill them all in a car wreck tonight. But whatever. 

Harry fucking Potter, right?

Veronica's house is in the upper middle class suburbs of the city, just a few tens of thousands of dollars further into the neighborhood than Yong's house. Byul can already spot the line of cars parked on the side of the road before she even turns down the street. 

"I'll drop you two off at the door and find a place to park." Byul says as she slows down in front of the house with the bass-heavy music and drunk teenagers milling about on the lawn.

"You're the best, Byulyi!" Sam grins, waving his wand at her. " _Crucio_!"

Wheein gives Byul an apologetic look. "You sure you want to walk that far alone? It's getting dark." 

Byul waves her hand dismissively. "I'll be fine. I think the worst thing that'll happen is someone trying to sell me weed." 

The couple gets out of the backseat and heads down the path towards the two-and-a-half story home. Byul lets out a breath and rubs her strained eyes. If it weren't for Yong and Seulgi expecting her, she'd be at home right now beginning her article that's due Monday. 

Byul finds a parking spot the next street over in front of some unknown person's yard and hopes that they don't mind. She looks over the face makeup Wheein did for her in the mirror. 

Heavy, black makeup surrounds her already dark eyes, giving them a sunken appearance and the darker blush against her cheekbones gives her face the illusion of gauntness. A tiny stream of 'blood' trickles down the corner of her lips onto her chin and she runs a tongue over the extended canines glued to her own.

Wheein was good. She hardly looked like herself and with her thick cloak over the cheesy vampire suit she looked authentic enough to show up in on of those weird 'vampire Halloween costume' Google searches. At least Wheein and Sam are at the party dressed as Hogwarts students, hopefully making her own costume standout less. 

She leaves her car and uses the walk to Veronica's house as a means of mentally preparing herself. She's never gone to a party quite like this one with all of the popular students mingling in one secluded area. Seulgi had invited her to quite a few parties she or the other cheerleaders hosted but Byul could always somehow find an excuse to tell her. With Yong's stubbornness however, it proved a more difficult feat. 

A few guys wearing fraternity shirts she doesn't recognize are on the lawn drinking from keg stands. Byul eyes them in confusion. College students are here too?  

The answer of her question comes as soon as she spots two familiar figures leaning against the side of the house, holding red Solo cups. Byul freezes when she sees Krystal laughing with Lacy, the waitress from Vic's.

If it were somehow possible, Krystal had gotten more attractive than the last time Byul had seen her. She isn't dressed in any sort of costume, but instead wears a casual sweater over cuffed jeans. 

Byul doesn't even realize she's staring until Krystal glances in her direction, looks away, and then does a double-take back to her. She elbows Lacy, whispering, and points in Byul's general direction, at which point Byul takes off at a quick trot into the house. Her heart hammering in her chest only gets more erratic when the heavy beat of the music shakes her core.

She finds herself glancing over her shoulder to see if she's being followed, before melding into the darkest and most crowded room she can find. 

The music is deafening now and Byul attempts to slip through the squirming bodies of her fellow students and makes her way to the opposite side of the room. A couple of people she barely recognizes leans against the far wall with either drinks or vapes in their grips, eyes half-lidded as they watch everyone else. 

Byul nods at the guy who makes looks at her through his smoke cloud and he rolls his eyes as he pushes off the wall and disappears into the crowd. 

"Nice to see you too, Jeremy." She mutters underneath her breath and takes his spot. 

There's no telling where Yong and Seulgi are. She has half the mind to just leave now but the risk of running back into Krystal on her way out is too high. She scans the room instead.

_There!_  

Byul perks up as she spots who she thinks is Yong through a gap in the swarm of people. She moves her entire being to the music with her eyes closed and a tiny smile on her face. She's bliss personified and Byul hates to even bother her as she sidles up to Yong. 

Byul finds she as to nudge her way through the people around her who're mostly male students casting futile glances in Yong's direction. 

She taps her shoulder only to be brushed off. "No, I don't want to dance with you." Yong says without opening her eyes.

"Darn!" Byul smiles sheepishly as Yong's eyes blink open. "I was thinking I'd be the one!"

"Oh shit!" It takes her a moment to focus on Byul. "You actually came!"

"Yeah!" She says over the music. "You wanna talk in the hallway?!"

"Let's talk in the hallway!" Yong yells, gripping her hand and dragging her.

They leave the crowded living room into one of the side hallways with less traffic. Byul notices Yong's costume which appeared to be some kind of Lara Croft from  _Tomb Raider_  ordeal. With the ripped tank top, camo shorts, and gun harness, Byul is having a hard time figuring out what else it could be.

"Woww." Yong drawls, picking at the fabric of her cloak. Byul frowns at her glassy gaze. "Are you from Transylvania? Because you're looking hot."

Byul gaze shifts around at the people moving in and out of the hallway. She takes a step back out of her grip. "Yong, have you been drinking?" She whispers.

"I've only had..." she counts on her fingers, "...well. There was the one shot. And that other one. But- oh then that other one."

Byul stares at her in horror. "Aren't you a lightweight?"

"I know my limit, Byul." Her words sound thick in her mouth. "I'm not gonna drink anymore tonight. Swears."

"Balance with water please."

Yong's pouting somehow becomes even more exaggerated in her drunkenness. "I didn't invite you here to be my mom, Byul. I've been to so many parties." She counts on her fingers again for about ten seconds. "At least two."

"I believe you. I just care about you, so I want you to be safe."

"Aw," she leans a shoulder against the wall and grins up at Byul like a doofus, "my baby cares about me."

"Oh. Your 'baby'?" Byul doesn't know whether to laugh or be flattered. "I thought you hated pet names." 

"But I like you more." Yong waggles her fingers flirtatiously at her, further cementing the fact that she is positively intoxicated.

"Yongsun!" They both turn to Seulgi who hurries up from behind them, dressed as an old-timey witch. One of the more modest costumes she's seen tonight. "Byulyi!"

Byul smiles at her and falls another step back from Yong. "Hi Seulgi."

"Well darn." She looks between them, placing her hands on her hips. "I thought I'd be around when you two found each other."

"Well, we do already know one another." 

"Pretty well I'd say." Yong interjects.

"But not  _that_  well," Byul counters. "Enjoying the party so far, Seulgi?"

"A party is a party is a party." She straightens her wide-brimmed hat. "How about you Dracula?"

Byul smirks, "Fine. Just looking for a fair maiden to feed upon." Yong snorts.

"Better be careful Yongsun," Seulgi giggles, "she might bite you."

Yong's gaze slides over to Byul. "I sure hope so."

Seulgi blinks. "Huh?"

"She said she hopes no." Byul interjects and begins backing away from this conversation. She doesn't quite trust drunk Yong. "I've got to go -uh- check on Wheein. Keep an eye on her please Seulgi."

"Okay." Her brow furrows. "Will do."

Byul spins around, picking a random hallway to go down. The plan is to go deep enough in the house where there won't be too many people around, but not deep enough that she'll walk into people having intercourse in a dark corner somewhere. It's an extremely delicate balance.

She briskly turns around a corner and slams her shoulder into a dark-haired person. She mutters an apology and tries to scoot past but they grab her arm. 

"Byulyi?" 

She stops breathing at the familiar voice behind her. Casting her eyes to the ceiling and cursing whatever being let this happen to her, Byul throws on a smile as she turns. "Krystal. Hi."

Being this close to her is bringing flashbacks to middle school that starts her stomach churning. Krystal wouldn't remember that night, right? It was probably just one of many in her long line of romantic partners. Nothing to worry about.

"Hi yourself, Count Dracula." Krystal grins, finally letting go of her arm. 

It takes Byul a full five-seconds to realize she's talking about her costume. She blushes in embarrassment. "Yeah, it's pretty lame." 

"No, no." Krystal reaches out and brushes her velvet vest. "You look good."

"Thanks." Byul shifts on her feet. "Your - uh - sweater-" She coughs. "Wow, it's been some years huh?" 

"Yeah, I know. I usually don't go to high school parties but my friend Lacy really likes 'em young." Krystal giggles and Byul uncertainly smiles, unsure if she's joking or not. "How've you been?"

"Oh. You know. Doing the school." Byul cringes at herself. "Not much has changed."

"Cool, cool." A thick silence hangs between them for a moment. "You dating anyone?" Krystal asks casually enough.

Byul finds it hard to swallow. "Um. No." She lies, giving her the answer that she tells everyone else. Somehow it feels very wrong to say right right now.

"No?" Krystal asks incredulously, taking that as an invitation to come closer. "How's that possible? You're such a catch."

"You know, the media club keeps me super busy."

"I agree. School's rough." Her gaze drops down to Byul's lips. "One of the reasons why I'm an advocate for casual relationships." Byul gulps, looking everywhere but her.

A few months ago, this would've been a wet dream come true and she's handling it about as well as she expected she would. Being flirted with is always uncomfortable and the fact that Yong is somewhere in the vicinity gives her even more anxiety. 

"Sure." Byul crosses and uncrosses her arms. "College is a good time to just have fun." 

"Uh huh." Krystal gives her a slow smile. "You're just as awkward as you were in middle school." Byul wets her lips. "You know, I always found that really cute about you."

Very obvious flirting now. Byul gives her an awkward, sloping smile. "Thanks. I - uh - we -uh -" She rubs her nose, trying to avoid Krystal's piercing stare. "You remember the -uh- ...roast beef?"

"Oh sure." She smirks as if they're sharing an inside joke. "The 'roast beef' was really good that one day." This is definitely a euphemism. "Especially coming from six grader."

"Uh huh." 

"I wonder how good roast beef from a senior could be."

All subtleties out the window then. 

Byul doesn't know how to respond to something like that. She fiddles with the seam of her cloak, wondering about a nice way to end this conversation. She's beginning to feel guilty its lasted this long in the first place and that maybe, in a weird way, the conversation was satisfying to her. Byul  _had_ dreamed of this for years. 

"Here." Krystal grabs Byul's arm with one hand and pushes the sleeve back while the other lifts up the side of her sweater. Byul begins to inwardly panic before Krystal slips a sharpie out of her waistband and bites off the top. She begins to scribbling on her arm. "Take my number," she says around her clenched teeth. 

"Oh." Byul tries to ignore the tingling of her skin where she's being gripped and the sheer closeness of Krystal. The hair on her scalp brushes against Byul's jaw as she bends over. "Okay."

Krystal takes a step back when she finishes. "Call anytime you want to hang with me and/or Lacy. Okay?" 

"Both of you?"

"Sure. We love to share."

_Holy shit_. Wheein's voice chimes in her head.  _Orgy_. 

"Okay." The way her voice cracks that does nothing to dissuade Krystal of her disinterest. "Maybe."

"I've gotta bounce." Krystal gives her a short nod. "Hit me up!" She calls as she leaves. 

Byul stares at her arm, knowing she just go to the bathroom and wash it off. She sighs, sliding her crumpled sleeve back down. 

_Later_ , she tells herself as she continues her search for a quiet space. 

The 'house' was a bit closer to a mansion with just how long the place is. It's the perfect place to through a party. Bedrooms and other doors that leads to who knows where line the hallways, perfect for whoever wanted to use them. But Byul could still here the thumping of music from her position so she goes further until she finally finds a door leading outside the house.

Byul opens the patio door and pokes her head outside to search for people doing drugs or couples making out. She exhales in relief when she's met with silence and goes outside, hugging her cloak around her body.

As she steps further out, she sees someone familiar in one of the lounge chairs. "Hyejin?"

The girl leans her head gradually as if she's only faintly hearing Byul's call. She's wearing the same all-black outfit she wore to school today but with dark shades concealing her eyes.

Hyejin gives her a slow smile and speaks even slower. "Byulyi. How are ya?"

Byul steps closer. Her nose crinkles as a sweet, musky smell hits her. "Hyejin, let me see your eyes. Are you high?"

"Sometimes I'm high like a bird Byulyi. Other times low like an ant."

Byul rolls her eyes and sits in the lounge chair adjacent to her. Yong's drunk, Hyejin's high, but at least there's some sense of quiet out here.

"Where's Loco?"

"Who?"

Byul lips part. "Loco. Your date?"

"Oh. In the car playing Runescape or something. He doesn't like parties." She stares at the home screen of her phone for a long minute and frowns. "I think I was supposed to text him if a slow song came on but I can't hear from here."

"I don't think parties like this play slow songs."

"Well he wouldn't know that." Hyejin smiles slightly.

"You're avoiding him."

"Hmm," she chuckles. "I am too high to talk about this."

"You left your date in the car and got high."

"And you're so scared of being gay that you don't even have a date." Any amusement from Hyejin's voice is gone. "Are we sharing facts now?"

Byul recoils slightly, catching herself looking around the patio for listeners before she can stop herself. "Look. School ends in seven months, I just want to fit in until I graduate."

"I wonder a lot about why Yongsun likes you more than me." Byul frowns at the blunt jab. "Truly, truly baffling."

"Has anybody told you you're mean when you're high?"

"I'm always mean." Her easy smile opposes the bitter words from her lips. "It's why I never have friends."

"C'mon Hyejin. You know I didn't mean it like that." Byul sighs, "You're just being brutally honest about your feelings right now."

"I push people away." Hyejin says making a 'shoo-ing' motion. Her voice drops into an over-exaggerated whisper, "So they can't do it first."

"Is that why you don't want to date Loco?" Byul asks.

"Don't try to read me, Byulyi."

_Not reading when you lay it all out_.

Byul crosses her arms, trying to look at Hyejin through her dark shades. "Well, Yong is one stubborn woman. She won't leave you."

"Until she leaves for college, you mean?"

Byul sighs, fiddling with the corner of her cloak. She'd been trying to ignore that fact after it occurred to her a few days ago. They'd only been dating a short time and the idea of leaving Yong was a painful thought. It made her want to stop dating her now just to avoid the pain, but that idea hurt even more.

"You'll keep in touch." She says half to Hyejin, half to herself.

"Let's stop talking now." 

"Okay."  
  



	38. Chapter 38

Yong searches the house for either Hyejin or Byul, finding herself bored with the repetitive advances from guys asking if they can get her a drink and even the occasional curious look from a college woman.

Even through the haze of the liquor she still remembers Byul and whatever it is that they are. At her old school, who knows what stage she'd be in at this stage of the night. Probably not drunk but in a bed somewhere with someone else, or two of someone else.

_Good times._ Yong thinks fondly as she nods to Seulgi and Veronica who she sees through the kitchen door as she goes past. But she'd never really tried to long-term relationship thing, it'd always seemed dull and annoying trying to stay committed and work out problems.

Her and Byul's disagreements were admittedly annoying, but it isn't boring. So then she begins to wonder when it'll get boring. She's waiting for it. Almost dreading it. And some of the reason why Yong is so patience in the physical part of the relationship is that she half-thinks that'll be the trigger for boredom.

Will she begin to push Byul away and look for her new options? She's surrounded by so many new people. If she let's her guard down, will Byul just fade into the background with everyone else?

Yong grimaces at her roaming thoughts. Another reason she doesn't drink much: she turns stupid and sappy as all hell.

She reaches the end of the hallway and discovers a door leading to the back of the house in a patio area. Yong's about to turn around and try a new direction when she hears a deeper woman's voice whining.

"Ai! Hyejin-ah." A long pause then another. "Hyejin!"

"Chill Byulyi. We're outside. I am not going to fucking hotbox you."

Yong grins with her success and pushes open the patio door. The chill mid-autumn air immediately penetrates the thin fabric of her tank top and she shivers against the wind. A faint hint of a sweet and musky reaches her nose.

Byul lies opposite of Hyejin in one of those patio lounge chairs that belong at a beach or pool but not on someone's covered wooden patio. It's just strange. 

Hyejin slides down her shades as she comes into the view and gives a low whistle. "Well damn. How'd you know Lara Croft was my ten-year-old girl crush come true?" 

"I'm the new and improved version." Yong does a little spin around, catching Byul's eye. "Hotter than Angelina Jolie. No triangle titties."

"I'm sorry Yong, but the triangle titties were the best part." 

"Sometimes I can't tell when you're joking Hyejin." Byul mutters.

"Just assume it's never a joke."

Yong strides across the deck and sits herself onto a surprised Byul's lap who let's out a mix between an "oh" and "oof". She leans down to put her elbows on either side of her.

"Hey."

"Hey?"

"It's cold outside." She mutters.

"It's because you're wearing  _this_." Byul's hand skims along the exposed skin of her lower back, sending chills through her.

"Warm me up then."

"Oh god no." Hyejin groans from across the patio. "I am high not deaf."

Byul pulls up her own lip, ignoring Hyejin. "I have glued-on fangs."

Yong lowers herself the rest of the way down so she rests fully on top of her. She nips the skin beneath her jaw. "But I don't."

Byul's nails scratch her back. "Hyejin is right there."

"I  _am_  right here in fact. Watching in 360p."

Yong sits up, throwing a glare towards her. "Where's Loco?"

"Oh not this again." 

Byul points accusingly at Hyejin who scowls at her. "She left him in the car to play Runescape alone."  
  
Yong's attention catches on a scribble of something dark decorating Byul's arm. "Oh hey, is this another part of your costume?" She grabs her wrist, pushing down her sleeve before she can stop her.   
  
"No-"

She turns the inside of Byul's forearm towards her."Whose number do you have on your arm?"

"Um," Byul pulls her appendage away and slides down her sleeve, "long story."

"Some drunk guy give it to you?" Yong's tipsiness becomes secondary to her annoyance. "I'll fight him."

Byul avoids her piercing stare, looking off somewhere into space. "I mean, I-"  
  
"Funny and maybe related story, Yong." Hyejin says coolly from her seat. "Krystal Jung and Lacy the Thic Waitress are here."

Yong feels Byul's entire body tense beneath her and she frowns trying to place the name. "Krys- oh." It dawns on her that that's the name of the orgy waitress' friend. Which also means that's the girl that made out with Byul in middle school. "Oh."

"That wouldn't happen to be her number, would it Byulyi?"

Byul's expression is stormier than a rain cloud as she glowers at Hyejin who only mouths:  _snitches get stitches_.

Yong shakes her head. "C'mon Hyejin. Why would Krystal's number be on Byul's arm?" She nods at Byul. "That's not her number right?" Byul doesn't look at her. She frowns. "Right?"

"I was going to wash it off."

Yong looks between the two of them, lips twitching. "You're fucking with me."

"Byul fucking?" Hyejin snorts. "That's a good one."

Yong stares disbelievingly into Byul's face which appears nothing if not extremely guilty. "Hyejin. Can you give us a minute?"

"I'll do you one better." She groans as she pulls herself uncertainly out of her seat. "I'm going to the car."

"You don't have to-"

"This party's shit. I feel like shit. So I might as well give Loco some sort of attention." Hyejin throws up a hand and says with false sympathy, "Good luck Byulyi."

Yong waits until the patio door closes behind her before sliding off of Byul's lap and onto the space next to her. She crosses her arms and waits for Byul to say something to explain but the seconds only tick by and Byul looks everywhere but in her eye. 

"So you were talking to Krystal huh?"

"I can talk to other woman, can't I?" Immediately on the defensive then. Not a good sign.

"My problem is not you talking to her. My problem is why you felt the need to try to hide that from me in the first place."

"Well-" Byul flushes. "I felt guilty about it."

Yong's mouth opens and closes. "Why?"

"I don't know."

"The hell you don't." Byul's jaw sets and she looks away. "Hello? Earth to Moon Byulyi?"

"I've wanted her attention for five years. Nonstop in some regard or another." She says quietly. "So her pursuing me like this is just kind of flattering. That's it."

"Even now, you want her? Even when you have me."

"What? No!" Byul furiously shakes her head. "Why would I want her over you? I don't even really know her."

Yong bites her lip. "Did you tell her we're dating?"

"Of course I didn't! We're aren't telling anyone, remember?"

"This is why we should tell people we're dating!" Yong snaps in frustration. "So people like Krystal won't write her number on your fucking arm!"

"Are we going to have this same argument every single time a girl flirts with me?" Byul's lip curls. "Quit being so jealous."

Her words bother her enough to shoot back, "Quit being so scared."

"I'm being smart, not scared."

_Is that what you tell yourself?_ Yong doesn't say it out loud, not wanting to escalate the situation anymore. She sits quietly perched on the edge of Byul's chair and neither of them say a word for a while. Now that the heat of the moment has died down, the bitter chill sets in again. She considers going inside and asking Seulgi to take her home.

Byul suddenly sits up and scoots down the lounge chair next to her. She wraps her cloak over Yong's shoulders.

"I should have told you, but I thought it was unnecessary." Byul says. "That argument was stupid."

Yong sighs. "Then why do we have it so often?"

"Because we are very different people trying to make a very unlikely relationship work." Byul's fingers knead circles into her shoulder.

Yong leans into her side, feeling the soothing rhythm of her heartbeat. She'd done this plenty of times while lying in bed with someone but the circumstances never quite felt like this. There's no expectation for sex or the frustrated wondering of when the hell the other person would just leave. It just is.

"This is the first real relationship I've been in."

"Me too."

"I don't mean to come off jealous. I've just never had a person to myself like this before."

Byul is quiet for a moment. "Do you like it?"

"Sure, when my girlfriend isn't flirting with other girls."

She scoffs. "Please. A little birdie told me you flirt with everyone at school."

Yong tilts her head up at Byul, poking her lip out innocently. "I've got to keep up my facade, baby."

"You're so gross when you drink."

Some part of her realizes they're weaseling themselves out of a fight that just needs to be worked out fully at some point. But it's Halloween night and her half-muddled brain isn't in the mood for arguments right now.

"I am so sober." Yong whines.

"What's seven times twelve?"

"Byul-ah. You know I can't even do math on a good day."

"Aw my poor  _Yeba._ " Yong frowns in confusion and Byul grins. "That's my hip way to say  _Yeppeun babo._  I've given you an original pet name."

Yong pulls away from her. "You just called me a dumbass in Korean."

"A  _pretty_  dumbass." Byul leans in forwards her and kisses her. "It's cute, right?" 

She gets up from her seat, fighting back a smile. "Oh, you're just downright adorable. The nickname not so much."

"It'll stick  _Yeba_. Trust me." Byul stands up as well. "Now I've gotta find Wheein and get home. Need to wash this sharpie off." 

"You know Byul, we should give Krystal and Lacy a call tomorrow." Byul gawks at her. "See what their whole deal's about."

"You're serious?"

"Sure. I'm curious." Yong smiles mischievously. "Tell her that her threesome just became a foursome."


	39. Chapter 39

Hyejin makes her way back through Veronica's house. The party has dialed down in numbers but many of the people that remain are shit-faced drunk and beginning to look for people to go home with.

"Hey Hyej-"

"Never again Trevor."

The guy walks away muttering something like  _bitch_ under his breath. She rolls her eyes, not even fazed anymore. Strange how people think that if you fuck them once you'll do it again. 

She remembers that guy very clearly anyway. He had the most crooked penis she'd ever seen. He probably has the pissing accuracy of a drunk woman.

She moves on from the parlor room and keeps her eye out for Lacy who is, admittedly, at least three years older than her and probably not interested at all in going to jail for a high schooler. Doesn't matter though. You plant the seeds to reap the harvest and, if you're lucky, the harvest comes early.

As she scans the various rooms on her way to the exit, she spots Wheein wearing some kind of nerd robes sitting alone in the kitchen with a red solo cup she assumes is filled with water. Her brown hair is frizzed out like she's been around too much electricity and she pushes it back with one hand as her other thumb works on her phone.

Hyejin hesitates outside the doorway debating whether or not it's her friend of a friend's friend's obligation to go in and see what's wrong. She could just be waiting on Sam to get out of the bathroom for all she knew. 

Before she can creep her way out of the doorframe, Wheein looks up from her phone towards her. "Oh hey Hyejin. Come in."

Hyejin gives her a curt nod. "Wheein."

"Are you alright? Your eyes look a little...off."

"I just smoked weed."

"Oh." Wheein pursues her lips and that stupidly cute dimple forms. "That's bad for you."

Hyejin groans, really not wanting to have this conversation. "Live fast, die young."

"Right." She says in the way that makes 'right' sound like 'wrong'. "Are you enjoying the party?"

"I was just leaving." Hyejin presses her shoulder against the door frame. "Where's Sammie?"

Wheein digs into the pocket of her robe and sits a pair of familiar circular glasses onto the table. "He left."

"Oh?"

She runs a finger along the edge of the Byul's spectacles in a way that somehow makes Hyejin anxious about smudging. "Apparently he got an important text from the SGA treasurer that he needed to leave for."

"Couldn't he do that on Monday?"

Her eyes flicker in annoyance. "I'm sure he could have, but his 'duty to the school' must be handled immediately."

Hyejin awkwardly shifts from one leg to the next. Comfort is not her specialty. She generally prefers to wallow in her own emotions without the futile attempt of someone trying to comfort her. Another adaption for not having friends, she supposes.

"That's... a dick move." Hyejin says lamely. "I mean - I dunno. Was he your ride?"

"No. He hitched a ride with his friend, also SGA." Her head shakes slightly. "Sam's an A plus student, but - You ever feel like you're second place in someone's life?"

A thought of Yongsun fawning over Byulyi immediately flashes through her mind and she pushes it away just as quickly. Their relationship bothered her more than she'd ever let on. It's a clingy feeling and she hates the idea of liking someone enough to be jealous of them not giving her their full attention. It only ends poorly.

"I try really hard  _not_  to feel things." Hyejin says and it's the honest truth.

Wheein lifts her cup. "Here's to not feeling then." She doesn't drink any though. Just places it back down on the counter.

Hyejin sighs and comes fully into the kitchen trying to shake off the feeling of drowsiness that clings to her. She perches on the stool beside her and peers at the tiny amount of clear liquid in her cup.

"That water?"

"It's vodka." Hyejin nearly chokes. "What?"

"You don't strike me as a drinker."

Wheein snorts. "Byul and I like to drink when we can, but I probably drink the most."

"You should take me out drinking sometime then." Hyejin smirks at the incredulous look on her face.

"Take you out drinking?" She laughs. "We're sixteen."

Hyejin raises her eyebrows in mock surprise. "You're saying you don't have a fake ID?"

"Sorry. It's in the shop right now." Hyejin shakes her head sadly. Wheein gives her an apologetic smile, "Would you accept bowling instead?"

She hesitates at the offer trying to figure out if it's legitimate or not. "I don't really like third-wheeling."

"I didn't say anything about Sam, did I?"

A lump forms in Hyejin's throat that makes it hard to swallow. There's no doubt that Wheein's offer is one-hundred percent friendly, but there doesn't seem to be any strings attached. Most people tend to invite her to things because they pity her 'loneliness'. Sure, she hangs by herself a lot but that's not necessarily loneliness - she's just alone.

"Not to be rude, but why?"

Wheein looks into her cup, swirling around the liquid in it. "We didn't have the best start and I regret how I treated you and Yongsun just because we have some ... moral differences. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, we were both being dickish." She breaths uncomfortably through her nose. "Sorry."

"Wow." She takes a sip of her drink. Her nose crinkles when she swallows. "I really didn't expect an apology back."

Hyejin lips split into a small grin, "I only apologize to pretty women who deserve it."

"Difficult qualifications." Wheein mutters smoothly but Hyejin can almost swear her cheeks are flushed.

She huffs a laugh. "I would like to bowl with you though. Are you inviting Byul and Yong?"

"Should I?"

"...No."

"Then I won't." Wheein shoots back the rest of her drink. Her face twists with the burn and she coughs. "Oof. It's been awhile since I've had a shot like that."

Hyejin observes her carefully. "You good?"

"Oh hell yeah." She wipes her mouth with the back of hand. "You wanna get another one with me?"

"I have to pass. I try not to mix weed and alcohol."

"Good plan." Wheein sets down her cup. "And I am not looking to get wasted tonight."

"Not tonight?"

"Not tonight." She agrees. "Not at Veronica Alling's Halloween party. Plus, the way this party's going, my mom might be awake when I get back home and she would not like that."

Hyejin thinks back to the look on Yong's face when she left and highly doubts that she'll be leaving any time soon. She chooses not to mention that right now.

"How is your mom by the way? I know with your dad-"

"She's better than she ever was when she was with him." Wheein says sharply. She exhales, "Your mom has been really good for her and I really appreciate it."

"Sure. My mom loves your mom." Hyejin rubs her neck. "And - uh - how about you?" Wheein looks at her and raises an eyebrow. "I mean it's been awhile and I know I found out when everyone else in our church did, but I never asked if you were ok."

"Oh. It's fine Hyejin."

"No, not really." Her voice grows tight with her guilt. "My mom told me to ask you and I didn't."

"I swear, it's fine." Wheein lightly touches her shoulder. "My dad is the worst. It was more a relief than anything."

It's never as simple as that and Hyejin knows it. She remembers how silent and reserved Wheein had become right after the divorce and how she still thought she was an obnoxious goody two-shoes.

Hyejin swivels in her chair silently and Wheein hand falls. She starts to scrape her fingernail against her empty cup's ridges.

"I know you told me before to stop reading you," Wheein says finally, "but can I say something?"

Hyejin gives the girl a measured look. "I prefer you don't."

Wheein's gaze flickers to hers and drops away. "Then I won't."

The lull in conversation allows Hyejin's tiredness to sneak back in and, in some backwards way, the music's bass is acting as a lullaby for her. It's Halloween night and she'll be damned if Wheein coerces her into talking about her feelings. Especially in the vulnerability that comes with being slightly high. 

She doesn't even feel high enough for the chill effects to come into play, just the nagging anxiety that bothers the back of her head like an itch she can't scratch.

"I should get back to Loco." Hyejin says finally.

"Loco?" Huh. Byul didn't tell her then.

"Yeah," Hyejin rubs a hand down her face as she stands. "He's my date."

Wheein's mouth drops into an 'o'. "You're dating him?"

"We are on a date."  _Technically_. "He's had a crush on me for a while so I decided to humor him."

"I think that's actually the least romantic way you could've worded that."

Hyejin shrugs. "I'm not particularly attracted to awkward people. One of the many reasons I will never be interested in Byulyi. I am the lioness who devours those who back down from her stare."

"You know, I was starting to doubt you were smoking weed earlier until just now."

"What? This is the most sense I've made all night." She gives Wheein a wink but there's no feeling behind it. "I'm just ready for a nap."

Wheein frowns. "I'd hate to see you going home alone with him when you aren't on the up and up. I'm sure Byul won't mind taking you home."

"Loco's weird, but he's chill and I'm feeling pretty cognizant. Plus I live a long ass way out."

"I don't give a damn where you live."

Hyejin's taken aback by the sternness in her tone and the way her arms cross in a sort of stubbornness that reminds her of Yongsun. The kind of stubbornness that results from someone caring about you in a way.

She suddenly finds it hard to swallow. "I'm good Wheein."

Her glare doesn't let up. "You promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

"Take my phone number." She thrusts her hand out, palm up and expectant. "Phone."

Trying not to become aroused by the authoritative tone in Wheein's voice, Hyejin hurriedly grabs her phone from her back pocket and is about to slide it open when she sees five text messages and one missed call from Loco over the course of a two-and-a-half hour span.   
  
  


**That guy**

_Hey! Slow song yet?_

_Hyejin? Slow song?_

_My computer battery died, I'm gonna come inside to charge it. Where are you?_

_Hyejin?? Where are you??_

_Did you ditch me_   
  
  


A new message pops up as she scrolls through the old ones:  
  
  


**That guy**

_I'm going home._   
  
  


Hyejin closes her messenger app without responding and meets Wheein's suspicious stare. "I might just take that ride."

Wheein just nods. "You still need my number for bowling."

"Sure. Right." She lets Wheein take her phone. "I dunno if Byulyi and Yong are still on the patio and I don't know if I want to find out."

"Why not?"

"They were having a fight. So they could be doing one of two things right now and I don't know which one would be worse to walk in on."

Wheein rolls her eyes. "Those two bicker so much, I swear."

"Yong's stubborn."

"So's Byul. In her own way."

"Then they'll be fine."

"Huh." Wheein hands her back the phone. "That's a nice way to think about it."

She appears to be holding back saying something, but Hyejin doesn't pry. The way Wheein tends to speak her mind, it must be a thought far too cruel for this world. 

"So you're rooting for them?" She asks, that fingernail going back to work along her cups ridges. Hyejin has the urge to grind her teeth at the abrasive noise.

"Why would I not be?"

"Jealousy." Wheein says simply and her fixated stare is beginning to feel scrutinizing. "You and Yong were extensively involved with each other."

"You're a blunt motherfucker huh?" The corner of Hyejin's lips twitch. "I try really hard not to feel things." She repeats with a shrug.

"That's bad for you." Wheein reiterates with the same tone as earlier.

She lifts an arched eyebrow. "Okay. Now I'm getting deja vu." 

The older girl slides back her chair. "We should go find Byul now." 

_Before one us gets offended and we're pissed at each other again?_ Hyejin muses silently.  _Is this how my bluntness comes across to others? No wonder I have no friends_.

But Wheein is a different kind of blunt. Only really blunt to her and Yong it seemed, but not necessarily malicious. Just awfully damn prying.

Hyejin gives her an exhausted smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. Tonight was not the night for this. "After you, friend." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Will.i.am and Wheesa bitch


	40. Chapter 40

"On a scale of one to me, how attractive is this Krystal woman?" Yong leans her head back onto the passenger seat and gives Byul a tiny smile that lights up her eyes impishly.

They're getting nearer to Krystal and Lacy's shared apartment and Byul is growing exponentially more anxious the closer they get.

Byul's fingers clench onto the steering wheel. "That's a trick question."

"It's only a wrong answer if you say a number higher than one." Byul doesn't react. Yong nudges her shoulder with a smirk. "Lighten up. You've been tense the entire car ride."

This whole meeting feels like a setup. Yong was way too eager to meet Krystal and even took to wearing a nice skirt and sweater for the occasion. Byul just opted for her normal jeans and an oversized button-up shirt. They were definitely on two different pages about this thing.

They were invited to Krystal's apartment for an Italian dinner and she had spent all morning trying to prepare herself for the moment all three lesbian alphas are in the same room and it will be shockingly easy to tell she's an inexperienced beta.

Would they all forget about her and engage a threesome without her? Would Yong fall for Krystal's charm or Lacy's thickness?

Yong pries Byul's closest hand off the steering wheel and plays with it. "I wonder how Hyejin and Wheein are getting along. Now that they're dating."

Byul scoffs. "Wheein, very adamantly, told me it wasn't a date."

"Well let's make a bet." Yong says. "A long term bet."

"What're we betting?"

"I have faith in my dear Hyejinie and, through a combined force of Wheein's disappointment in Sam's lack of romanticism and Hyejin's secretly lovable personality, she will make your best friend -in the very least- question her sexuality by the end of the year."

Byul huffs a nervous laugh. "That all?"

"You don't believe me?" Yong's pout inflates her cheeks adorably.

"Hard to say really." She shrugs thinking. "Not impossible though. What happens if you're right?"

Yong runs her thumb across the slender bones of her hand. "I guess you'd owe me a favor."

"Owing you favors makes me-"

"Horny?"

"-nervous." Byul finishes, giving Yong a sidelong glance. "Seriously, how does your mind work?"

"I generally just say the first thing that pops into it." She says coyly. "Currently I'm wondering how much flirting it'll take for you to admit to Krystal you're dating me," Byul scowls, "and it's between her trying to kiss you and a direct invitation to an orgy."

"Yong-"

"But - oh wait! You were already invited to an orgy! I guess that's out, huh?"

"Here are the apartments!" Byul exclaims suddenly, driving up to an off-campus apartment parking lot.

The red-brick complex is situated somewhere around a five minute drive from the main college campus. From what Byul knows, these are some of the more expensive apartment options, following the logic that most of the popular people at RBW are disgustingly rich and Krystal is not excluded from that. 

"She said third floor. Three-eighteen." Byul mutters as she finds a far away parking spot in the back of the building. Yong doesn't say anything, her mouth pressed into a thin line. "Yeba?"

Byul can tell she's irritated. They keep having the same reiterations of the same argument and the only two resolutions are: Byul coming out or Yong being understanding of her waiting until college. Their secret dating arrangement had been perfectly fine until women began to flirt with her. She's knows Yong gets flirted with too but it remained out of sight and out of mind.

"Kiss for good luck?" Byul gives her an optimistic smile.

Yong opens the passenger door and gets out, expression unchanged. She slams the door closed.

Byul worries her lip as she follows her down the sidewalk. Yong had never turned down physical affection before. And she'd been so excited about this dinner the entire day. Was she just pretending? Was this all just a test? Did she fail?

"Yong?"

"Here's something else I'm thinking," her voice is a whisper in the cool air. "I think maybe let's not call this a relationship if we're not going to treat it like one."

Byul nearly misses a step in her shock, stumbling on the sidewalk. "Wh-what?"

Yongsun couldn't be trying to break up with her. Not after everything that she'd gone through to make this relationship in the first place. No. Byul's mind had to be overreacting again.

"We should just talk about this after the dinner." Yong's tone is so normal that it feels synthetic. A robot attempting to sound human. It unsettles Byul even more than her irritated voice.

Once inside of the complex, the desk attendant waves them through lazily without an identification check or a question. Maybe they looked enough like college students to pass through easily enough.

The lobby isn't particularly becoming for the apparent expensiveness of the apartments. It's just a simple tile floor with a few waiting couches in the corners and portraits of important academics on the walls. The staircase proved even less impressive and twice as dirty than its lobby.

The nearer they get to Krystal's room, the faster her heart beats. It thuds against her ribcage like a monkey against cage bars.  _Escape. Escape before it's too late_.

"You gonna knock on the door Byul?"

"Uh huh."

Byul swallows as stands firmly in front of 318 with the complete intention of knocking on the door, but her body unable to move. She wets her lips and raises a fist. She bites her lip and the fist falls back to her side.

Byul turns to Yong. "You know, we really don't have to-"

Yong reaches past Byul and loudly raps on the door three times. "I got it."

"One sec!" Krystal's muffled voice resounds from behind the door. Byul feels her stomach churn.

Footsteps pad closer and there's the sound of a chain jostling before the apartment door is thrown wide open. Krystal stands in the threshold with a wide and welcoming grin, bright brown eyes darting between Yong and Byul. And then back to Yong for a long, appraising moment.

"Welcome."

Byul can't help glancing at Yong whose face is a mask of pleasantness as she takes in Krystal from the damp hair that curls on her neck to her bare, multicolored toes. She wears a pretty green and white sundress and Byul's suddenly convinced she may have dressed a bit casually.

After a few seconds of utter silence in the doorway, Byul suddenly clears her throat. "Um. Krystal, this is Yongsun. Yongsun, this is Krystal."

Yong's smile is the picture of polite. "I've heard a lot about you, Krystal."

Krystal inclines her head. "That's cool. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about you."

There it is. The tiny crack in Yong's smile that exposes her irritation. It's gone just as quickly as it comes and Byul almost second guesses that she saw it all.

"Well, you know, I talk to Yong much more than I talk to you." Byul quickly amends, lightly touching Yong's back where Krystal can't see. "It'll be nice to catch up."

"Yep." Krystal says amiably and she nods to the coat rack near the door. "Come in, you can hang up your coat Byulyi. I'm going to find Lacy."

The two of them step into the delightful warm apartment that smells like sausage and garlic and begin to shrug off their coats at the door. Krystal quickly disappears around a corner into a hallway.

"She's really cute." Yong mutters innocently under her breath. "I see why you liked her."

Byul flushes despite herself. "Yeah well, cuteness isn't everything."

"Mmhm."

"But you're cuter." Byul gives her what she hopes is a charming smile as she shrugs off her jacket.

"It's not a competition. Krystal can be as pretty as she wants to be." There's a deadly calm in Yong's voice that gives Byul shivers. "I can't fault the woman for flirting with you neither. You're single, remember?"

"Yong-"

"Howdy bitches!"

Lacy struts out from the hallway in a lacy black bralette and jean shorts and Krystal trails behind her. She isn't the thin build of Krystal or Yong, but a thick, curvy build that reminds Byul of Hyejin if she weighed a little more. Her golden hair is piled on top of her hair in a messy bun and her skin glistens with the dampness of just taking a shower. Lacy and Krystal must've both taken a shower right before then.

_At the same time,_  a wry voice chimes in her head.

Yong scowl pulls up into a grin. "You wouldn't happen to be our waitress from a few weeks ago would you?"

Lacy tips an imaginary hat at her. "Guilty as charged."

"Small world." Krystal notes dryly.

"Small world." Yong agrees.

Byul already feels so minuscule compared to these giant personalities in one room. This entire dinner is centered around her, but anxious thoughts of being left behind already have begun to scream for her attention. Drowning in them. Drowning in them.

She shakes her head, trying to clear away the thoughts.

"You  _don't_ like spaghetti Byul?" Krystal asks, giving her a worried look.

"No! No, I'm sorry. I do. I just -uh- was shaking off a chill."

Yong annoyance has melted away into concern and she places a hand on Byul's arm as the other two lead the way into the kitchen. "Are you okay?" She mutters quietly.

Byul doesn't know how to even answer that. Her stomach swirls and she's caught between wanting to throw up and needing to take a shit. But they just got here. They can't just leave.

"I'm fine." She lies between clenched teeth.

"You're not."

"I will be." Maybe not a lie. Sometimes she can push away these episodes through sheer will - delay them a bit longer. And if not, she's really good at faking a smile like she is okay.   
  


In the dining area connected to the kitchen, there's a small square table set with four wooden placemats and a matching number of plates, cups, forks, and knives.

"I hope neither of you are vegetarian," Krystal says regrettably, "the sauce has tons of sausage in it because Lacy loves it."

Lacy scoffs. "You can't blame a girl for wanting to stay thick can you?"

"No you can't." Yong smiles at her. "You have a nice figure. It reminds me of someone I was once with."

"Oh?" Lacy cocks an eyebrow and even Krystal tilts her head in interest. "Tell me more."

"Well," Her eyes flicker down briefly, "your boobs are bigger."

Byul can swear that Lacy's beaming grin spreads from ear-to-ear. "I like her. Can we keep her?"

_No, you can't have her,_ Byul mentally snaps. But her rebuke does no good captive in her own mind. 

Krystal gestures widely to the table they stand beside. "At least let us take her to dinner first." 

Byul knows that Yong is just playing with them. She's in her comfort zone, the area she excels in: flirting and flattery. There's no harm in it, she probably does it every day at school. Byul won't let it bother her. 

_Push away the negative thoughts. It's just a dinner, you'll survive._

She blinks out of her daze only to discover Krystal staring at her. Hard. The way creepy men in department stores watch you. Same intensity. Less of the pedophilia. 

Krystal's face relaxes as soon as she seems to realize Byul is cognizant and looking back at her. She smiles at her. Well, it's less of a smile and more of a flash of teeth maybe meant to soothe her, but looked more predatory than anything.

"You zone out a lot Byulyi." She says quietly, underneath the tones of Lacy and Yong's boisterous chatter.

"I've got a lot on my mind." Byul responds.

"Don't we all." Byul can tell it comes out more bitter than she wanted it to, because she quickly smooths it over with another thin smile. Then, addressing everyone, she says, "Let's eat before the noodles get cold."

"I like to get my noodle wet." Lacy says in a nearly conspiratorial tone. "If ya know what I mean."

"You just made a dick joke, yet you do not have a dick." Krystal says bluntly. "Also, I don't think a guy would call his penis a 'noodle'." 

"The sentiment was there." Yong quickly says to Lacy. "Long and skinny is not  _that_  bad." 

"I was thinking more rigatoni pasta. It's kinda like the Little Teapot," she giggles, "short and stout."  

To Byul's relief, Krystal appears just as done as she feels. "Lacy, sit your ass down and eat. You should know tacos are the best."

Yong snorts loudly. "Was that a euphemism?"

"Why say a euphemism when you can just speak the truth?" She asks, but her lips quirk in acknowledgement. 

As they all find their seats around the table, Byul finds her mind reciting a Shakespearean quote from one of the plays she's read in class,  _The Tempest_. And trapped in this apartment with these people, it had never felt more true.

_Hell is empty and all the devils are here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been reading more lately and for some reason that makes both my chapter quality and my angst levels go up.


	41. Chapter 41

Krystal eats her spaghetti with a spoon, twirling the noodles around daintily with the precision of a professional Italian noodle-eater. Lacy carefully holds a fork in her left hand and shoves the noodles into her mouth like she hasn't eaten in weeks. Yong balances herself somewhere in-between while Byul hardly touches the tiny amount she served herself.

"You're not giving me a convincing performance of enjoying spaghetti," Krystal says to Byul, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. She doesn't look offended though, just contemplative.

"No!" Byul scoops another bite into her mouth, but she appears almost nauseated. "It's really good!"

Lacy bobs her head in agreement. "Krystal's an amazing cook." Her smile grows as she glances at her. "You should see her toss a salad."

Krystal turns grave. "I don't toss salads anymore."

Yong doesn't know whether to be amused or uncomfortable, so she settles for a grimace that displays a bit of both. "Tossing salad is ... a bit like Russian Roulette."

"Syrup is completely useless and disgustingly sticky." Krystal says like she's discussing the weather. "I suggest avoiding it as a whole."

"Syrup on a salad? Sounds disgusting." Everyone turns to stare at Byul. She flushes, "I'm missing something."

"No honey," Lacy says. "We went different routes, but we're all at the same conclusion."

Yong finds Byul's leg underneath the table and gives her knee a squeeze. She's been losing it ever since they stepped foot in Krystal's apartment.  _Ever since I suggested we break up_.

But it wasn't that, was it? She didn't really suggest that, it was just a thought. A thought that stemmed from frustration that she said out loud and probably should've just kept to herself. And Byul is going to want an explanation and-

"It's puddin' time, bitches!"

There's something about Lacy's need to end any type of proclamation with the word 'bitches' that really gets Yong's mood up.

"Right after discussing salad tossing, we now eat chocolate pudding." Krystal muses deadpan. "For the irony of it all."

Krystal isn't anything special and Yong can't tell if she finds that a relief or a disappointment. Sure, she's pretty and brunette, but nothing marks a difference between her and Yong but a more oblong face.

Is that all Yong is as well? She can see so much of herself in those warm brown eyes. A pretty, charming face after an ideal more than an actual person. Is that all Byul is then?

She'd come to this small town with the preconceived idea that it was a nest of backwoods bigots and she would enjoy the attention while it lasted. Then she'd enviably find a way to out her sexuality through some level of debauchery and let what may come happen. But R.B.W High turned out quite a bit different than she expected.

Yong hadn't lied to Byul the night of the sleepover. The only fucks she gives is about her parents and - she supposes - keeping STIs to a minimum. Dating Byul... it puts a lot more pressure on her shoulders than she'd ever tell her.

Yong is the carefree one, the rules and worrying belong to Wheein and Byul respectively, but there's something about being someone's first in sex or dating that makes her uncomfortable. And yet, the blushes and the pecks on the lips are a level of intimacy she isn't familiar with and they make her heart beat faster like she hasn't felt in a long time. It's almost scary.

The relationship feels constantly as if she's wandering around in a dark room avoiding a piece of china on a wobbly stool and if she so much as moves the wrong way, it'll come crashing onto the floor and scatter into a million pieces.

"...and so I said, 'I'll be your sugar baby, but only if  _you_  call  _me_  daddy'!" Lacy slaps her hand against the table, cracking her own self up.

Yong manages a chuckle. It was a funny story - what she heard of it anyway - but it's hard to enjoy anything with Byul beside her glumly poking a spoon into her chocolate pudding. Out of the two college students, only Krystal seems to notice Byul's mood. No wonder. She's been watching Byul like a hawk the entire evening.

"The dinner was delicious, you guys." Yong says, wiping her mouth with a napkin. "I really appreciate you allowing me to come along."

"The night's not over." Krystal's gaze slides over to Yong. "We should all watch a movie."

"We got  _Children of the Corn_!" Lacy grins. "The old one!"

Classic move. Persuading your guest to watch a scary movie on a bed or couch increases your chance of getting laid by two hundred percent. Unfortunately, these two are in for a night of disappointment.

Yong nudges Byul already knowing her answer. "What do you say?"

Her eyes widen slightly and she blinks as if coming out of a trance. "Uh..." her brow furrows and she appears to try to read the room. "Yes."

Yong groans inwardly. Byul definitely didn't hear the question and her eyes widen like a deer in headlights when Krystal gives her a wide smile. "You two should've brought your sleeping bags." 

_Oh god no._ Yong mentally rolls her eyes.  _She must think I'm an idiot. Or we're interested._

If given a choice of either, Lacy seems to be closer to her normal type: boisterous, friendly, and the type to not make things weird after intercourse. But who's she kidding? Types only restrict your options.

"What'd I agree to?" Byul mutters worriedly when Lacy and Krystal leave the table to set up the movie.

"Two more hours of...this." Yong sounds slightly peeved in her exhaustion.

"I'm sorry." She wipes a hand down her face. "I've been messing everything up lately."

"Who doesn't love scary movies?" Yong forces a reassuring smile onto her face, but she doesn't want to be there any longer than she has to despite them being nice. She can tell Byul's completely detached from reality half the time, so it's almost as if she's facing this whole encounter solo. 

"I can text Wheein to call us halfway through." Byul suggests while leaning an elbow onto the table. "Pretend it's an emergency."

"Not that I don't trust your acting skills Byul," Yong says, "but so far tonight you have been sub par."

She flinches. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not blaming you."

_Maybe you are a little._  Yong's brain chimes in.  _Maybe you think all this could've been avoided if Byul was just honest with herself. Or, maybe Byul's right and you are a paranoid little bitch who just doesn't trust her_.

"Well, you seem mad." Byul mutters beneath her breath and Yong bristles. "Not just right now either, but you've just been like that for a while."

Usually her anger over the arguments she has with Byul fade over the course of a few hours, but this Krystal issue keeps nagging her. It all stemmed from the petty bickering about defining their relationship that they never fully worked out. The fact Byul didn't have any room for compromise might have annoyed her more than she realized.

"We'll talk about it later."

"You're making me anxious, damn it Yong." Byul hisses. "I couldn't care less about this stupid dinner, especially when you're being so damn cryptic."

"Forgive me if I don't want to have a serious talk in the dining room of two women we barely even know." Yong whisper-yells. "You have no sense of timing."

"And yet you were the one who dropped a 'maybe let's not call this a relationship' bomb right before dinner. Which, by the way, can really make someone lose their appetite!"

Yong suddenly becomes aware of a silence in the other room. She places a finger against Byul's lips that pull down into a frown at the contact.

"What?" She mumbles.

"I think they're listening."

"We are not listening!" Lacy voice rings out from the other room, followed by an "Ouch! They knew anyway!"

Byul slowly leans forward until her forehead presses into the wooden table and begins to emit a groan no less than horrific than the sound of two cats having intercourse. They must've heard everything.

Krystal pokes her head into the doorway, looking sheepish. "First of all, if you guys didn't want to watch a movie I wouldn't just accepted a 'no'. Secondly, if it makes you feel better Byul," she looks up from the table, "we both knew you were gay from the get-go so...yeah."

"See Byul," Yong halfheartedly claps her drooping shoulder, "they already knew."

"Not the relationship part though." Lacy returns to the dining room. "What is this?" She gestures between them. "Is this a dating thing or like...? Krystal, what's the PG definition of what I'm thinking?"

"A hit-it-and-quit-it situation?" Krystal responds dryly.

"Yeah that."

Yong snorts. "Whatever you think this is, it is not sexual."  

Byul's scowl gets deeper. "It's a little sexual." She ignores the raised eyebrow Yong gives her. "You guys won't tell anyone right?"

Lacy blinks. "Wait. This is a secret thing? Like in a kinky way or-?"

Yong quickly shakes her head, "More like she's ashamed to come out-"

"Is 'ashamed' really the right-"

"This is worse than I feared!" Lacy exclaims, holding up a hand to cut Byul off. "Krystal, I need my Hello Kitty notebook and my glasses!"

"The pair from your nephew's birthday party?"

She nods gravely. "Yes."

Byul and Yong exchange worried glances. "Uh," the former says, "what's going on?"

"Fuck the movie, honey. We gotta deal with you first."

Krystal has the nonchalant appearance of someone who's gone through this countless times. She coolly crosses her arms and centers her gaze on Byul. "It's an intervention."

"A what?!"

"I mean really Byul, you must be all types of ashamed." Lacy clicks her tongue. "How else could you pull a woman this hot and keep it a secret?"

Yong finds herself nodding along.  _That is a damn good question_. Then she sees the clouded face of Byul who - instead of looking distracted and sad - appears about two seconds away from punching Lacy in the face.

"I don't even  _know_ you people." Byul says with deadly calm as she stands up from her chair. "I don't want your stupid reassurances or your perverted jokes or you telling me what I may or may not be."

Yong brushes her hand against her sleeve. "Byul-"

She shrugs her off. "What I want is to go home and finish my article so I can stop being pressured to come out when I'm not fucking ready. Thank you for the dinner, but I'm leaving."

Lacy's enthusiasm wilts with every word, but Krystal only frowns when Byul slips past her storming through the living room and out of the front door.

Yong starts after Byul, but Krystal touches her shoulder. She bristles, turning her eyes towards the woman she currently wants to blame for everything that's happened tonight. Because it's easier than blaming Lacy or Byul. Or herself.

"What."

"Are you really satisfied in a relationship like this?" She asks quietly. "I don't think she's ready to date in her current state."

"Are you a fucking psychologist?" Yong glares at her and Lacy. "I mean, how could you just think it was appropriate to try to stage an intervention for someone you don't even know?"

Lacy blushes a dark red, "I thought I was helping. It's worked before."

Yong clenches her jaw to avoid saying anything else. Lacy, at least, meant well in her eccentric way and Krystal was nothing more than an enabling bystander.

"Right." Yong gives them a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "It's just an all-around fucked situation that you guys shouldn't be worried about. No hard feelings."

Krystal doesn't look convinced. "You're lying."

"It's the principle of my forgiveness that matters, not the actual intent."

"But you seem oddly annoyed with me in particular." Yong doesn't say anything, just casts a impatient look to the front door. "If I knew Byul was dating you I wouldn't have flirted with her in the first place."

Yong believes her even if she doesn't particularly want to. None of this is Krystal's fault in the slightest. She should've never interjected herself into the dinner to start with. But the thought of Krystal writing her name on Byul's arm while she just stood there  _idly_ was not a pleasant one. What else would Byul just stand and let happen?

"I believe you." Yong says and means it. "I got to. Bye, guys."

She grabs Byul's jacket on the way out of the door, feeling sick to her stomach. Really it all boiled down to her not trusting Byul and the implications of that makes her uneasy.

_That's why you don't date people Yongsun._ Her mind pipes up again.  _You're too paranoid. Too possessive. Didn't you hear Byul? She's sick of you_ _already._

"Fuck you, brain." Yong mutters under her breath, attracting the concerned look of a college student in passing. "Fuck off with that stupid shit."

She shoves away the intruding thoughts with the same nonchalance she always maintains, initiating her tried and true method of ignoring the problem until it goes away. Because, by some means or another, it always does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fi-fi-finally, fi-fi-fi-finally


	42. Chapter 42

_Ahn Hyejin is as attractive as she is lonely._

Wheein pays the young attendant for her bowling shoes but her attention lies elsewhere. With the jet black hair resting on her shoulders and the random tattoos scrawled over her brown body, Hyejin stands out just as well as she blends in.

_And one usually doesn't imagine an attractive person as very lonely, even the mean ones. One imagines them more like Yongsun or Veronica._

_It must be self-inflicted._ She decides.  _But why?_

Wheein doesn't particularly like to read into everyone she meets. It just happens. There's this itching in her mind to understand what plagues a person — drives them. She doesn't believe people are born destined to be any type of way, but that situations make them a certain way.

"You okay, Wheein?" Hyejin interrupts her thoughts. "You look like you're calculating how to kill a man with your thumb and a pair of tweezers."

"Place the tweezers against a major artery and use my thumb to jab it through, of course."

Hyejin snickers as she ties up her shoelaces. "Alright, smartass."

They had met at the bowling alley a few minutes past six. Wheein running late, Hyejin surprisingly early. Sam had called her —aware of her coldness towards him this morning— and asked about making it up to her. And she responded with a firm "I'm busy tonight, try again tomorrow". Funny how people always look better from a distance.

Well. Not Hyejin. She seemed to be growing on her.

"I was actually thinking of how hard I'm going to kick your butt in bowling tonight." Wheein smirks as she ties her hair back into a ponytail.

"Cute." Hyejin drawls. "We're thinking about the same thing."

"Only one of us can be right."

"Well, you're right about  _that_."

Wheein huffs a laugh. "How bout you put your money where your mouth is then?"

Hyejin gives her an intrigued look. "We're betting on this?"

"What do you want to bet?"

A tiny, mischievous smile creeps onto her face that unsettles Wheein. Just as quickly it vanishes, as if she's correcting herself. "You suggested it. You decide."

"Ok." Wheein scans the bowling alley and her gaze lands on the concessions. "If I win, you buy me dinner from the restaurant here."

"That poison?" Hyejin visibly cringes. "Fine. And if I win?"

"If you win, I'll buy you food somewhere else I guess. Since you're so picky." 

"Either way Wheein is going to eat." She snorts.

"You got a better idea?"

That shifty smile returns before she shakes her head. "Nope. I love innocent bets. They're so  _pure_."

Wheein's eyes narrow. "Uh huh. Be honest."

"Well," She drawls, "I was just thinking the loser has to get the number of a person here. Winner's choice."

"Hyejin-"

"Nothing kinky or whatever. You can throw the number away the second you get it. I know you're with Sam."

Wheein notices there's a distinct lack of bitterness in her voice that's different than the last time he'd been brought up. It's refreshing, like they're making progress towards friendship.

"Just a number?"

"That's all." Hyejin smirks. "If you're so convinced of your bowling skills, you have nothing to worry about."

Wheein pursues her lips at the open challenge. Now she couldn't back down with her bravado at stake. "Deal." She shakes her hand, surprised at the pressure of her grip.

"Good, good." Hyejin stands up from the bench and bends down to touch her feet. "And, uh, just so you know, my family and I have gone bowling twice a month since I was eight years old."

Wheein's eyes widen. "What?! That's not fair!"

"Sure it is, oh great bowler Wheein."

_This bitch._  She's been played, that much is certain. To be honest, she probably should've suspected something fishy when the shoe attendant knew Hyejin's size without having to ask.

"Fine." Wheein shakes out her arms and bounces on her toes. "Two can play at this game."

"Yes, but only one can win it."

They go over to a bowling lane in the far corner of the building, inserting their tickets for one round of bowling and typing in their initials for the scoreboard. Hyejin grabs a twelve-pound ball off of the rack and Wheein begrudgingly takes the eight-pounder. Hyejin doesn't say anything, but settles for a tiny smirk instead.

"Looks like I'm up first," Hyejin says and steps up to the lane's bright red line, carrying the bowling ball as if it's made of feathers. Wheein can feel herself leaning to the right with the weight of the ball.

"Break a leg!" She calls at Hyejin's back.

"Coming from you, that almost feels literal."

Wheein restrains her grin as Hyejin looks at her with exaggerated skepticism from over her shoulder. Her face looks open, as if she's let down the furrow-brow guard that she seems to permanently have up. Wheein can't tell if she's doing something right or if Hyejin just really loves bowling.

Hyejin takes a few steps back from the red foul line, stretching her neck from side to side, and propels herself forward along with the bowling ball that shoots from her hand like a missile. It crashes into the center-most pin and the remaining nine collapse along with it. An 'X' appears next to her initials on the scoreboard.

She spins around on her heel and smiles at Wheein. "Yahtzee!"

"Alright, alright." Wheein waves her away as the pins reset themselves. "Lucky first go."

"'Lucky first go', my ass." Hyejin nudges her shoulder as she passes. "It's called skill, babe. Get some." 

"Eat my ass." She mutters underneath her breath.

"Only if you're offering!" Hyejin chirps from behind her.

Wheein ignores her taunts, allowing herself to focus solely on the center pin. The last time she came to the bowling alley, she'd gotten two spares and averaged around an 85 score. That had been almost two years ago. 

_Just focus on the center pin and let the ball do the rest_ , she thinks to herself.  _Don't let Hyejin show you up_.

She pulls back her shoulders, feeling a pair of eyes on her back. She mimics Hyejin's movements: stepping back, pulling her arm out into an arc and releasing the ball. It falls onto the slick lane floor with a solid thump and slowly drifts its way down. The ball's trajectory begins to curve and curve until-

_Thud!_

Wheein watches in helpless dismay as the bowling ball falls into the gutter. A lone cough resounds from behind her.

"Well." Hyejin keeps her voice respectably sober. "You want the child gates up?"

"Don't. Hyejin." Wheein grabs her ball as it comes back up from the retrieval shoot. "Don't."

She goes again, hoping that speeding up her sequence of movements might help with the direction of the bowling ball. However, the extra speed she puts on this time only insists in moving the ball quicker into the gutter. 

Wheein clenches her tiny fists, snapping out a muffled yet loud "Sonuvabitch!" through her gritted teeth. An older lady in the area next to them frowns her disapproval.

"Oh god, you're so adorable." Hyejin coos. 

"Don't patronize me."

This time, Hyejin can't keep the laughter from her voice. "You sure you don't want the child gates up, though?"

Needless to say, Wheein did not win at bowling by a long shot - even with the safety gutters employed three rounds later. When she told Hyejin not to go easy on her, she didn't actually mean for her to shamelessly destroy her by almost one hundred points. Maybe sensing the embarrassment and irritation in Wheein's scowl by the end of the game, Hyejin offered to buy her food despite winning the bet as a peace offering.

As they sit at the counter waiting for their food, an awkward silence ensues. The first one of the night, Wheein realizes with some surprise. Or maybe it isn't awkward at all for Hyejin who seems unfazed as she twists in her chair, dark eyes scan the room that steadily grows more crowded. Maybe looking for familiar faces. 

Wheein chews on her soda straw while staring at her. She isn't like Byul or Yongsun in that she isn't forthright with information about herself. Anything Byul feels is always on full display in her facial expressions or lack thereof and Yongsun will downright tell you herself about her deal. Hyejin is blunt yet secretive. It makes her wonder.

"Do people at school know that you're bisexual?" Wheein abruptly asks. She hadn't heard rumors about it or anything which makes her think that isn't a confirmed thing people know about. 

If Hyejin's shock by Wheein's question she doesn't show it. She turns to her and shrugs heavily, "I dunno what does or doesn't get around. The guys talk more than the girls though, so I think the general consensus is that I'm a 'hoe'."

Wheein frowns. She's heard the rumors and whispers about Hyejin whenever her name is brought up. It's never anything good unless it's about her attractiveness. She's the girl that everyone's surprised hasn't dropped out yet, or the one who flipped them off in the hallway. Wheein had been inclined to believe those things too. Hyejin had never been nice to her and was even a bit of a bully in middle school.

"Yongsun even told me some of her popular  _friends_ advised her to stay away from me. That I would taint her reputation." She laughs, but it feels forced. "She told them to fuck off."

Wheein gapes. "No way."

"Way. She told me she said -and I quote- 'fuck off, I know all you incestuous bastards fuck each other anyway'." Wheein snorts at the truth in that statement and Hyejin smiles at the thought. "I think, in that moment, I realized Yong might be the best friend I ever had. No one has ever-" She suddenly cuts herself off and Wheein senses her closing up again. "You may not see it, but she's great."

The waitress drops off Wheein's greasy slice of cheese pizza and Hyejin's hardened piece of pretzel that looks closer to a twisted stick. She pokes at the pretzel with unguarded disgust as Wheein bites a hunk out of her pizza. 

"You know, I'm trying to quit judging people at face value." Wheein sips her soda. "Or middle school value."

She looks at her with amusement. "Or a couple weeks ago value?"

"I think we both can do with forgetting the last couple of weeks."

"But not the past couple of hours," Hyejin jabs her salted pretzel towards her in accusation, "because you lost our bet."

"Did I?" Wheein notices the change in subject but chooses to ignore it.

"Oh yes. Yes you did."

Wheein spins around in her chair and assesses the Saturday night crowd at the alley: mostly teenagers and students from the university with a couple of older adults sprinkled in.

"Who is it?"

"I'm feeling generous tonight." Hyejin says, stabbing her pretzel with a knife. "I'll let you pick the gender." 

Wheein holds back a sarcastic response to that and figures that Hyejin isn't the one for small kindnesses so she should be grateful. "Female." She answers.

Hyejin's lips curl upwards as she glances at her. "Really?" 

"Sure." She looks away from her suggestive smirk. "Better I'm seen talking to some girl than some guy when I'm already seeing Sam." 

Hyejin's amusement slips away as quickly as it came. "Okay." She leans both elbows back against the table as she gives the bowling alley a measured look. "Me."

Wheein's eyes narrow. "Who?"

"Me."

"I already have your number." 

"Get it again." Wheein folds her arms over her chest, mouth poked out. "A cutely annoyed Yongsun impression is a good first try, but will not work."

"You're so - ugh!" Hyejin lifts her eyebrows in questioning innocence. "You just want me to flirt with you."

She gasps, drawing back. "How dare you suggest that, Wheein? In front of my salad!"

"It's a pretzel!"  

Wheein can tell that Hyejin is thoroughly enjoying herself, casually man-spreading in her chair with her dumb self-satisfied grin. Why is she man-spreading anyway? She looks down at her own legs crossed between Hyejin's. 

_Wait. When'd that happen?_  She casually extracts her legs in what she hopes is an unassuming manner. 

"I'll give you another option." Hyejin pushes a dark lock behind a pointed ear. "You get a number from me or that guy."

She nods her head towards a younger man in the corner of the alley who's wringing out a pair of beige-tinged socks into a trashcan. He pauses for a moment, looks around, and sniffs his fingertips.

Wheein grimaces as she feels her pizza coming up, but isn't sure if it's from that horrific display, the greasiness from the pizza, or a late reaction to the greasiness Hyejin seems to ooze on her own. 

"Of course I choose you."

Hyejin beams. "Gee thanks Ash! Now I'm feeling like a true legendary Pokemon!"

_Fucking hell_.


	43. Chapter 43

Byul doesn't make it three feet down the hallway before her mind goes into overdrive again.

_I shouldn't have stormed out like that, it makes me look ungrateful. Now they won't like me and tell everyone I'm gay. I should go back and apologize._

But she doesn't. She moves one furious foot after the other back down to the lobby, lips curled into a scowl.

_I have a right to be angry at them_.  _Lacy - she didn't have the right_. Byul clenches her jaw, fighting back tears that threaten to escape.

It was fucking embarrassing. The spying and the accusations. And Yongsun hadn't said anything, she just sat there and went along with it like it was just fine. But maybe she was telling them off now, since she hadn't come running out after her.

_Or maybe they're back there laughing at me._

Byul recognizes the likelihood of that occurring is minuscule and yet her heart still thuds in her chest at the idea. The front desk guy waves at her as she walks out and she gives him a smile that feels like its formed of  _papier-mâché_. He looks pleased enough about it though.

Yong says she's a bad actor, but no one's ever been able to tell when her smiles are fake.

The nighttime chill hits her once she steps outside the front door and she realizes that she left her jacket on the coat rack on her way out. With the car keys in the pocket.

Byul groans, rubbing her arms and stamping her feet on the pavement. God forbid she have to go back upstairs and face them again.

"Sons of bitches!" Yong sweeps through the door behind her like a storm and shoves Byul's coat into her surprised arms. "An intervention? Really? Was the next step an exorcism?"

Byul feels a hint of her anxiety ease up at the fury in her voice. Of course she'd be mad. Of course she wouldn't laugh at her.

"Lacy's a touch eccentric." Byul says with more calm that she feels. She slips on her denim jacket and searches for her keys. "But I think I might have overreacted some."

"No. Overreacting would've been you shoving their pudding spoons up their asses." Yong crosses her arms as they walk to the car. "I think you were mild mannered at most."

"What did you say to them?"

"I was super fucking nice." She insists. "I knew they meant well - somewhere deep in their misguided college-type ways. But I don't think peer pressure like that works or was appropriate."

They get inside Byul's car and she immediately turns on the heat. The dashboard clock reads 7:37. It'd hardly been an hour and a half, but the time had felt twice as long in their apartment.

She taps her fingers on the steering wheel knowing she should probably start driving but feeling too wound up to even move. Now that the dinner's over something else is bothering her. She glances over at Yong busy texting on her phone.

"We should finish our conversation." Byul can't tell if she imagines the apprehension that crosses her face. "Before the dinner."

"Yeah." She puts down her phone. "Or we could just forgot about that and make out."

Yong couldn't know how tempting that sounds to her right now. How tempting it always is to just touch her and smell the shampoo in her hair - the days she actually washes her hair. But there's an order to things and-

"Ignoring the problem won't make it go anyway." Byul says regretfully.

"Okay fine." Yong twists in her seat to face Byul. "I don't like that no one knows we're dating." Byul runs a hand through her hair. Already off to a bad start. "I don't  _like_  being jealous. And I don't like being put into positions where I am."

"Can't you just stop it when you notice it?"

"Can you just stop anxious thoughts when they come into your mind?"

Byul bristles. "Well, no but-"

"It's kinda part of the reason why I don't date people." Yong says simply, but the way the corner of her lips tighten says otherwise.

This is affecting her more than she wants to show or admit and Byul doesn't like the implications of what she's saying. She doesn't even look at her. Instead her scalp is pressed against the window and her chin tilts towards the roof.

"What're you saying then?" Byul asks cautiously. 

"If we don't solve this we'll just keep bickering and one of us is going to end up hating the other." She snaps. "That's what I'm saying."

"And if we break up-" Yong flinches slightly and looks down at her, "- _if_ we do. Will you date other people?"

"Byul," her tone is full of warning. "It shouldn't matter, but no. Not dating." She fiddles with her sweater's sleeve. "I mean I'll probably be with other people, if that's what you mean."

"So you'll regress to your old ways."

Yong scoffs. "Don't make it sound like some sort of horrible affliction."

Byul stares hard into the dashboard, cheeks burning. "This is my fault."

"No, definitely not. I don't think I should've pursued you when you weren't ready. I was rushing you into a relationship so I wouldn't be jealous but this - this limbo is even worse." Yong looks almost fevered. "It's like you're mine but you aren't."

" _I am_."

"You aren't. Not really."

_My first relationship and I've already fucked it up_. Byul's hands shake in her lap. She wants to be angry at Yong for pursuing her in the first place. For thinking that she could just magically come out to these people she's known her whole life and face their disgust and gawks. She has to fit in. Lie low until she gets into college and finishes with the school newspaper.

"Who're you gonna go for first?"Her question comes out bitter. "Already set your sights on someone?"

Yong rolls her eyes. "Oh shut up Byul. We aren't breaking up." Byul blinks. "I was just angry earlier. But I still shouldn't have said what I said."

Their relationship feels hopeless. Somewhere in the back of her brain she knows that and knows that Yong knows it too. Yet here they are, once again, ignoring every incompatibility in their relationship.

Byul must've looked uncertain because Yong pipes up, "Honestly, I shouldn't fuck around in small towns like this anyway. Good way to get chlamydia." 

"Offensive." She mutters. "But on the other hand, there was an outbreak of gonorrhea on campus one year."

"Incest kills." 

"If someone flirts with me again, I'll just say I'm taken." Byul says after a moment. "But I do just think that Krystal was a rare exception." 

"And Eric?"

Oh yeah. She'd forgotten about him. That had been a long time coming, an option she might have tried to consider if Yongsun had never moved to her high school and screwed up her entire life.

"Boys aren't really a threat, now are they?" 

Yong gives her a suggestive smirk. "Not for you. That boy is after me now." Byul frowns. "I swear, every media club meeting you don't attend he's sniffing down my neck. Literally think he sniffed my hair once." 

Byul crosses her arms. "He actually thinks he has a chance with you."

"Don't be so cocky Byul. An attractive, nerdy virgin?" Her smile pulls at her cheeks. "Sound like someone you know?"

"You can't be comparing me to him."

"Lucky I saw you first, huh?"

Byul shakes her head and clicks her seatbelt across her chest. "This conversation's over, Yongsun." 

"Byul-ah." Yong leans across the cup holder and rests her chin on her shoulder. "Gimme me a kiss."

She flushes at the warm breath caressing her cheek but refuses to move. "You basically just called me Eric."

Yong just presses her lips briefly to her neck, nipping the sensitive skin before pulling away. Her hands tighten on the steering wheel. 

"We should go to my house."

Byul nods quickly. "Yes. I think we should."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter because angst sucks but I needed to conclude the minor conflict. For now.


	44. Chapter 44

Maybe it was underhanded.

Hyejin had told herself before bowling that Wheein was off limits and that the road to friendship was all nice and good, but it was the pout that did it. The firm "sonuvabitch" from that adorable, dimpled face was honestly too much. How could anyone withstand from that cuteness?

The "not-a-date" date has been going so well that Wheein didn't even notice or care that Hyejin had been checking her backside out every time she went up to bowl. Not that there was much to see, but it was the principle of it.

Wheein lets her hair out of its ponytail and fluffs it out over her shoulders while maintaining penetrating eye contact with Hyejin whose stomach lurches in her abdomen of its own accord.

"Hey there." Wheein gives her an exaggerated wink at which Hyejin holds back her laughter. "I've never seen you around this bowling alley before."

"I usually go on Tuesdays when it's half off."

"That explains it." She leans an arm onto their table. "I - uh - just came over because you were eyeing me from across the room."

So Wheein's into roleplay, huh?

Hyejin sips her drink and gives her a little, nonchalant shrug. "I must've saw something I liked."

"Well lucky I came over, cause you were being a little bitch about it." Hyejin chokes. "What's the fun in just looking?"

Wheein gives her a suggestive once-over. Hyejin feels heat rushing through her. This all feels a touch too real. She hadn't really been expecting an intense come-on like this. At most that ten joke about Tennessee or something else half-assed.

"There's no fun in it, I guess."

"Nope. But you are looking like a thick slice of crumb cake today."

Hyejin blinks. "What?"

"I could just eat you up."

The way she says it somewhat reminds Hyejin of her grandmother when she would call her cute, which makes her arousal somewhat confusing.

"Which part exactly?"

Wheein's smooth smile slips for a moment before she reaches out and places the tip of her finger on the corner of Hyejin's mouth. "Well, I would start here," she drags her nail against her skin until it hits the collar of her v-neck, "and work my way down."

_Holy shit._ Hyejin had not prepared for this level of intensity. She begins to regret her ill-formed, split-second decision to not have Wheein flirt with the sock man.

Her voice comes out in a hoarse whisper. "How low we talking?"

"All the way down to your left pinkie toe."

"How'd you know I have a foot fetish?" 

"Lucky guess." She shrugs coyly. "But I dunno, maybe I shouldn't. You might hate me after."

Hyejin frowns. "Why's that?"

Wheein moves forward in her chair, close enough that barely a foot separates their faces. Close enough that her knee has found its place directly against her center. It doesn't move.

"I don't think you'd be able to walk straight for a long time."

Hyejin hardly hears her over the roaring in her ears and the distracting... pressure. 

"So, can I have your number now?"

"Y-yeah." She clears her throat and tries to lean back into her chair with nonchalance. "You can have my firstborn child too."

"Well that was easy." Wheein laughs as she scoots away from her, appearing far too pleased and unaffected for Hyejin's liking. She feels a spark of jealousy at the idea of her using that display to win over Sam and immediately shoves it away. Holding on to false hope is a nice way to get burned. Again.

"How'd you learn to flirt like that?" Hyejin asks, tightly crossing her legs.

Wheein shrugs and pulls her hair back into its ponytail. "I read a lot of fan fiction."

Hyejin exaggerates a gasp. "Weeb!"

"I only read the good kind." She insists. "Historical mashups starring my favorite composer: Robert Schumann."

"You, madam, are a liar and a thief."

Wheein absently nibbles on the crust of her pizza. "And what'd I steal?"

"My gay little heart!" She places a dramatic hand over her chest.

"You're disgusting."

"Uhh, no. This pretzel is disgusting.  _I_  am smoother than a baby's left butt cheek."

"I'm sorry that all the babies you've met have had a serious case of ass rash."

Hyejin scoffs, running a hand through her hair. Every time she thinks she has the upper hand, Wheein comes right along with a counter insult. How does everyone at school think  _she's_  the mean one when Wheein roasts this hard?

"I see you're at a loss of words. So, while you're thinking of your next  _witty_ remark," Wheein slides out of her stool and thrusts out her hand, "I need another two dollars for pizza."

Hyejin frowns, digging the money from her pocket. "Am I your sugar mommy or something?"

She grabs the money with a cheerful smile. "I'm older than you. You'd be calling me mommy."

Hyejin doesn't like to call it a submissive kink, but there's no dismissing the way her body reacts to someone who can dominate her abrasive personality. And this someone somehow looks like a damn angel. A fallen angel who belongs in hell.

Through some biological turn of events, that only makes her more turned on.

She spins in her chair, scanning the bowling alley once more. At their tiny table in a dimly lit corner of the room, she can see all of the patrons in the main area. A family she sees at her church sometimes, a couple of girls from campus she remembers from high school.

_Boring. Boring. Oh?_

A curly-haired guy sits with his arms folded at lane five. He's with two other younger girls whom she presumes are his sisters due to a similarity in the dark locks of their hair.

_I've never seen you before. Three to one odds, ain't all that bad._

"Uh oh." Wheein sits back down beside her with her pizza. "The lioness is looking for a gazelle to devour tonight. Too bad you can't."

Hyejin turns an incredulous look towards her. "What do you mean 'I can't'?"

"I turned down Sam because I had plans with you. No way I'm letting you flake on me for a one-night stand." She extends her pizza slice to Hyejin who scowls heavily. "Wanna bite?"

She pushes away the pizza. "First off, my little dumpling ball," Wheein raises her eyebrows, "don't expect me to turn down getting laid just because you're a haughty virgin. I have rights. I have needs."

"You have a very high sex drive.  _That_  is what you have." She bites off a piece of pizza. "Even Yongsun has more chill than you."

"Yong is a lovesick woman who thinks being an adult means 'building meaningful relationships' and 'finding love'. I am a practical woman who - noting the current divorce rate - rightfully believes that love is dead."

"Harsh." Wheein cups her chin in her hand. "So, when you were flirting with me a few weeks ago, you were just trying to hit it and quit it?"

"Um yes. Still would, by the way."

"I wasn't offering." Hyejijn notices she quickly turns away from her. "What else you do you want to do tonight?"

"Well," Hyejin clears her throat and thrusts out three fingers, "I am a simple woman who likes three things." She taps each finger in turn, "Getting drunk, getting lit, getting laid."

"You need to get saved."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll see you at church tomorrow." She waves her off dismissively. "What do you want to do then?"

Wheein gives her one of those invasive stares where it seems like she's trying to figure out a complicated equation. But the equation is a person - a person who doesn't like being examined like a mysterious rash.

Her knee knocks into hers as she swivels her chair. Wheein doesn't seem to notice. Funny how she notices everything else though.

"I'd like to know why  _this_  Hyejin is so different from school Hyejin." Her mouth turns down at Hyejin who sighs through her nose. "Who hurt you?"

A complete know-it-all. That's all she is.

It suddenly clicks that Wheein doesn't care about her past or whatever may or may not have happened to her. This is all some science experiment for her to poke and prod in bitchy Hyejin's brain and figure out if her hypothesis is correct.

"Why?" Hyejin struggles to keep the anger out of her voice. "You can't let sleeping dogs lie, can you?"

"You don't have to tell me-"

"Oh thank god!" Hyejin drawls. "I'm glad you gave me permission to keep secrets from you."

"You're getting defensive."

_Subject is getting defensive_. She mocks wryly in her head.  _Perhaps prolong invasive questions until the next time I friend-zone her._

Wheein's hand shoots out and slaps her in the shoulder. Hard.

Hyejin nearly falls out of her chair in surprise. She grabs her arm, hissing, "What the fuck!"

"You were thinking shit about me. I could see it in your eyes."

"Even my mind isn't safe from you." She shakes her head, standing up from her chair. "Maybe it's time we part ways for tonight."

Hyejin can only the describe the self-entitled smirk on Wheein's face as the single most annoying sight she's ever seen her life. Even the dimple etched into her cheek adds its own touch of self-righteousness to the image.

"Why are you running from me?"

She crosses her arms, indignant. "I'm not-"

"I ask you something personal and you shut down." Wheein cocks her head and the intensity of her stare unnerves Hyejin. "Not only shut down, but get defensive too."

"I don't like that you keep prying at... past shit. It actually makes me want to curse you out. But I'm deciding to walk away instead. Aren't I nice?"

"I know it seems like I'm prying. I mean, I guess I am prying. Sorry." She sobers, nodding her head at Hyejin's vacant seat. "I won't ask again."

Hyejin cautiously looks between her and the chair. "Why do you even want to know about me?"

Wheein seems momentarily at a loss from that question, as if she didn't expect her to actually ask why. As if she doesn't even know herself.

"Well, we're friends, aren't we?" Hyejin doesn't mean to grimace at that word, but she does. And Wheein notices it. Of course she notices it. "I mean -"

"Sure, sure." She sits down heavily. "We're - uh - friends and all that. But let's save the heart-to-hearts for the second date, yeah?"

Thankfully, Wheein just nods and accepts the unconvincing way Hyejin pushes those words out. They were just the pretty lies she'll tell until Yong and Byulyi go to college and her life returns to its normalcy. It's what she wanted.

No Wheein in her future prying into her past and judging her present state. No Wheein sexually frustrating her and then friend-zoning her immediately after. Nobody to disappoint her. Nobody to disappoint.

"I like you Hyejin." Wheein says quietly and suddenly, underneath the constant synth music of the bowling alley. She's almost sure she imagined it. "But I don't pity you. I don't think you'd want my pity anyway. It's just sometimes you need open up a wound and restitch it in order for it to heal right."

Hyejin finds that she gets angry the most when someone's right about something she doesn't want them to be right about. Wheein insists on being right with her philosophical words of healing and shit. And maybe, she does sometimes want to talk about problems that bother her and things that won't stop bugging her even years later. But she hadn't trusted anyone enough to do it.

Maybe she eventually would've told Yong about it if it'd been just them. If Byulyi hadn't become her primary focus. If Yong had been as persistent about finding out things as Wheein.

"Maybe - on that second date -" Wheein adds tentatively, "we can talk about things. And I'll go first." Her tight smile doesn't reach her eyes. "Deal?"

Hyejin hesitates for a long moment. She really doesn't want to make a deal like this. Airing out her dirty laundry with some girl she bullied in high school seems like the plot to a bad movie. And now the audience is groaning under their breaths, saying 'no, no, don't trust her, she'll tell the whole school your insecurities and secrets'.

But this isn't a movie. And Wheein isn't a bad person. Prideful? Maybe. Nosy? Hell yes. But she offered to go first and that was a start. A show of good faith.

Hyejin nods slowly. "Okay. Deal."

Wheein smiles, a nice, wide real one, and claps her hands together. "Okay. You want to go to McDonald's? I'll buy you one thing off of the Dollar Menu."

"You, Jung Wheein, are an angel." She can only muster out about seventy percent of the sarcasm vocally that she really feels on the inside. Wheein rolls her eyes anyway.

"I know that Satan. I can even hear your gratefulness. Though it sounds curiously close to sarcasm."

Hyejin stares at her somberly for a second before a grin breaks across her face. "I'm sure you can find it in your heart to buy me a McGriddle. You can't wimp out on the all day breakfast."

"I'll give you a dollar towards your McGriddle." Wheein says blankly. "All I can do for you."

"And I will savor that discount with my life." 

She doesn't react to that quip, instead she begins stacking up her greasy pizza plates. Hyejin watches her meticulously wipe up her crumbs and the puddle of sweat from both of their fountain drinks.

"You know that there's someone here that does that for you?" Hyejin asks.

"No point in making someone work harder than they need to." Wheein gives her a soft smile. "Nothing wrong with cleaning up after myself, right?" She gets up and walks over to the cashier, exchanging a few words with her. She gives her a bill before walking back over to Hyejin. "Ready?"

Hyejin, somehow feeling guilty, wipes off her few pretzel crumbs into her plate before standing as well. "Yeah, let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to my regularly scheduled Monday updates. Let's see how long that lasts this time


	45. Chapter 45

Yongsun returns to school Monday morning with a pool of burbling annoyance beneath her cool exterior. Maybe that's the reason she decides to test Veronica Alling at gym class today.

The cheerleaders are all huddled up on the top three rows of the gymnasium, leering at the cute boys playing shirts versus skins in basketball or giggling at the other students who weren't popular enough to sit on the bleachers.

Yongsun sits squashed in between Veronica and Taylor, the co-captains of the cheer squad and two of the biggest bitches she's even met. She finds it even more amusing that they're so quick to name other girls sluts and yet they go from guy to guy weekly. Use, recycle, and repeat.

"So Yongsun," Veronica runs a hand through her hair, coincidentally the same shade as a devil caricature, as she turns to her conspiratorially. She makes sure to address her in the loudest hushed voice possible so everyone in the group of eight turns to look at them. "Winter Formal's coming up soon. Who's the lucky guy?"

At that, there's a wave of childish giggles and saucily raised eyebrows by everyone but Seulgi, who only presses her lips together with an unreadable expression. Yongsun internally rolls her eyes at the stupid schoolgirl question. She's been plagued with them ever since she arrived, but, amazingly, they grow more obnoxious the closer it gets to formal dance season.

"I'm sure  _all_ the boys are  _dying_ to ask you." Taylor crones dramatically before Yong can answer. There's a hint of poorly hidden jealousy beneath that compliment that makes her uncomfortable.

"Unfortunately the hottest hunk is already taken by me," Veronica sighs without an ounce of sympathy as her nose points up haughtily. "It's only a matter of time before Tyler makes it official."

_I could steal your man just to spite you_ , Yong thinks with some amusement.

Instead of mentioning that, she gives all the watching eyes a pleasant smile before saying, "I think I might just ask a girl."

Utter silence falls over the cheerleaders and they all glance around at each other nervously, waiting for something. Maybe for her to laugh and say she's joking, though Yong is going to do no such thing. She doesn't have to, because Veronica does it for her.

She erupts into teeth-grating shrieks of laughter and some of the other girls join with unsure giggles. Yong frowns.

"Yongsun, you are just too funny." Veronica slaps her shoulder with a bit too much force. "God, can you  _imagine_?"

"Imagine what?" She asks with deadly calm.

"Well, you already talk to that Hyejin girl and - I don't want to tell you this -" Veronica says, looking exactly like she wants to tell her this, "but there's rumors going around that she has sex with women too."

It takes everything in Yong's power not to just laugh in her face right here and now.  _Oh yes, she is very gay and I didn't realize I was too until she was tongue-deep in my vagina_.

Yong realizes they're staring at her expectantly as if she's supposed to be scandalized or something. Instead she shrugs. "What's wrong with being gay?"

There's only the sounds of breaths inhaling and rubber soles squeaking against the gym floor. The entire squad seems to be waiting for Veronica or Taylor to have an answer to this mind-blowing question and Yong waits patiently for it. Girls like these are the reason why Byul doesn't want to come out and it'd be really disappointing if they can't even back up their own prejudices with something.

Yong locks eyes with Seulgi who's been nonreactive for most of this conversation. She knows that her opinion would matter the most to Byul when it comes down to it. No matter who or what you are, people will talk shit about you and that's life; but it really hurts when the people you trust do it along with them. Seulgi looks away.

"Look Yongsun," Taylor says finally, flipping curly dark hair over her shoulder, "you can't just like like someone of the same gender. That's like illegal here."

Yong's lips quirk in amusement. "You mean in this school or this country? Because I have news for you-"

Veronica holds up a delicate hand. "Gays are special snowflakes and kudos to them for being different or whatever, but you have to agree that it's weird."  _I have to, you say?_ "The norm is straight, so they can keep their gayness to themselves for the benefit of everyone else."

The other girls -excluding Seulgi- nod resolutely like this is the most logically-sound comment they have ever heard.  _At least they aren't planning a gay witch burning,_ Yong thinks.  _I've dealt with worse than this._

"And what would you do if one of your cheerleaders was gay?"

"Funny you mention that Yongsun darling," she says with a tiny smile, "because during my freshmen year at RBW, our captain discovered two junior cheerleaders having sex -or whatever you call it- in an upstairs bedroom at a party. She went back downstairs, stopped the party, and quietly led everyone to the room so they could catch them in the act. There were pictures circulating the school and the town for years - even to this day; their lives are permanently fucked. But it was chaos and a bit too extreme for my taste. That captain was a petty bitch."

"She was your sister Veronica," a senior cheerleader giggles in amusement.

"Yes, a real bitch who's now fat and into social working. Really let yourself go, didn't you Tessa?" Veronica mutters to herself quietly before she gives Yong another shark smile. "Any who, if any of my girls are into that gay business, I'd suggest they keep it to themselves for the sake of their reputation and their happiness."

Yong lifts her eyebrows. "That sounds like a threat."

"That's because it is one." She says sweetly. "Not even you are untouchable Yongsun dear. So watch yourself. And your friends." Veronica stands elegantly from her seat just as the school bell rings and she throws her handbag onto her wrist. "That's all for today ladies. See ya tomorrow!"

She and Taylor step down the bleachers together and up to the sweaty boys finishing their game of basketball. The other girls disperse or linger near the exit doors, hoping for one last interaction with their almighty co-captains. All who's left on the bleachers is Seulgi and Yongsun who has a bitter taste in her mouth.

"I would like to destroy her." Yong mutters and, to her surprise, Seulgi cackles.

"Many have tried. None have succeeded."

"Has anyone tried anything permanent? Perhaps poison?"

Seulgi cuffs her leg, attempting to keep a straight face. "You are bad."

"Only for the greater good." Yong grins. "You gotta admit that she's horrible. And the rest of them are just her little sock puppets."

Her lips turn down slightly. "What was with all your questions though? They didn't just seem random."

Yong observes her round, innocent face for a long moment thinking about the consequences of telling her why - or at the least the half-truth of herself being gay. But then that could lead to Byul somehow getting involved and the last thing she wants to do is accidentally out her before she's ready. Not that she doesn't trust Seulgi, but she believes it's best to be cautious for now.

"Oh, you know...gay rights."

Seulgi absently nods, but her eyes are uncertain. "I'm just trying to graduate and not attract Veronica's attention. She's backwards, but what can you do?"

Yong stands up from the bleachers, unhappy with her wishy-washy response. It's better than agreeing with the rest of them, but accepting it just as it is wasn't what she was hoping for either. 

"I guess I better head to the media room," Yong says letting it go for now and pulling her backpack over her shoulder. "I've gotta edit the final draft of the newspaper."

"Sure," Seulgi says. "Tell Byul I said 'hi' if you see her."

She nods, but knows that Byul most likely isn't hanging out in the media room. As of late, the woman's been meeting with her teacher and perfecting her college portfolio. That's the last thing Yong wants to think about: deciding on colleges and majors, writing essays, leaving Byul and Hyejin and even Wheein.

College is Byul's life preserver; her hope for greater things. All Yong feels is an anchor chained to her foot, slowing dragging her under. There's always been this underlying fear that lurked in the back of mind that she'll be that woman who peaked in high school. Maybe that's why she used to go so wild all the time, or maybe it's just in her nature.

Only Eric is sitting in the media room when she opens the door and she frowns a bit, wondering exactly the reason why he's in here this afternoon. Usually it's just herself or maybe Hyejin if she's feeling up to it.

"Hi Eric."

His face breaks out into a huge grin as he look up from his textbook to her. "Yongsun! Hi."

She drops her bag off into a desk and sits on the edge of the large table up front. "What're you doing here?"

"Ah," Eric scratches his head with his pencil, "I thought you'd like the company and I need a quiet place to study-"

Yong exhales deeply. "Have you tried the library?" He blinks once. Twice. "I'm really not trying to be rude Eric, but I can't focus when you're in here."

His blinks again, but this time it's followed by a slow smile. "You can't focus?"

She hesitates, wondering if she said something wrong. "Uh no... and I also just prefer-"

"Say no more Yongsun," he shuts his book and begins stuffing it in his backpack, "I understand completely." She watches him suspiciously as he meanders his way over to the exit, still smiling. "By the way -I'm just curious- but, would you be my date to the Winter Formal?"

"Eric, I'm taken. And also very gay."

His mouth falls open slightly and his book bag slips to the floor with a heavy thud. It'd almost be comical if Yong wasn't immediately regretting saying that last sentence. Maybe it slipped out because it was already on her tongue from her conversation with Seulgi earlier.

_Please don't connect the dots. Please don't connect the-_

"Byulyi. You and-" Eric runs a hand through his hair with wide eyes. "I knew it!"

Yong worries her lip. She's always been awful at lying, but now seems like the perfect time to learn. "I don't know what you're talking about. What does Byulyi have to do with-"

He scoffs. "I'm not dumb Yongsun. The whole situation quite obvious when you think about it. I remember the art gallery."

"So what?" Her voice becomes slightly edged as she drops the dumb act. She slides off of the table. "What're you going to do? You - you can't tell anyone. Byul will have a panic attack."  _She's going to hate me._  "You can't-"

"Whoa, whoa Yongsun." Eric waves his hands at her to slow down. "God, I know we didn't get the best impression of each other at the beginning but Byul has been a friend to me for a long time. And yeah, I've been angry that she doesn't like me back, but I wouldn't do anything to hurt her because of it. I'm really sorry if I made you think that low of me."

Yong stares at his apologetic expression as her heart hammers in her chest. "You're serious?"

"Of course. She's been my only real friend for awhile until..." He heaves a heavily sigh as if he's thinking about it. "Yikes. I didn't handle rejection well huh?"

"I think we all were dicks about it." She says quietly. "It was more of a competition to me back then."

"Not anymore?"

"No. Of course not. She's amazing-"

"Sure sure, rub it in." Eric groans, but he smiles a little. "Look, I've really got to study for my test, but you're secret is safe with me. I swear." He picks his bag up from the floor. "I hope Byul can be honest with me one day."

Yong nods, sobering up slightly. "She will. One day."

"You don't seem so bad, you know? I'm sure you're good to her and all that." He throws up a peace sign as he opens the door to leave. "And - uh - sorry for calling you a 'loose woman' a couple weeks ago."

She freezes. "You did what?"

Eric gives her a guilty smile as he quickly slips away. Byul must've forgotten to mention that tiny little detail, but she'll have ask her to try mending things with Eric someday. He just seems hurt and lonely. That can make you do mean things.

Yong immediately thinks of Hyejin and then pushes it away.  _I'll call her later. Now I just need to finish editing this damn newspaper._

And, feeling as if some of the bubbling annoyance in her has been released, she opens her laptop on the front desk and gets to work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I procrastinate too much and don't write enough Moonsun smut, but you guys still read this. So thank you :)


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